Quitting my job - Need to get a grip and just do it!

[Fired]

I realise I'm being a bit of a wet lettuce but I am an anxiety ridden people pleaser who overthinks everything.

I need to quit my job. The workplace is toxic. I've been there for over 5 years and never been given an ounce of responsibility. I have 15 years experience and yet every minute of my time there is micromanaged and nitpicked and controlled by my colleague and my boss. I'm not allowed to ever think for myself or do anything without being told to. My boss has never said "good job" or anything, just tells me (in a few more words) that nothing I do is ever good enough.

There are, more often than not, days where I am sick to my stomach with stress and worry before my shift starts. Then I come home in tears because of how awful it is. That's not me being a wet lettuce, it can truly be awful. We're a very small "team". Other than my controlling colleague and one other person (who is the main source of the awfulness) I have lasted the longest, every other employee has quit within 6 months. One person managed 3 shifts (12 hours total) before refusing to come back because those first 3 shifts were so dreadful, with the bullying and the shouting and the micromanaging.

I like what I do but not at my current workplace. It's not an important job, I'm not doing anything amazing. I'm easily replaced and my boss doesn't really like me or think I'm any good so why do I feel so guilty?!

Anyway, it's time for me leave there but I keep second guessing myself. I had a good shift on Friday and a good one today and I keep thinking what if they are all like that from now on? Because if they were I wouldn't leave! But I know they won't be so I need to just get a grip and send my my resignation letter.

I don't know why I feel so guilty about it.

This is a really long post, sorry. I just needed to get it out there. Someone give me a kick and tell me to stop being so pathetic!

Wow they sound crackers totally unhinged. Defo need to leave

Well done!

Interestingly I had a MC and my boss held it against me in-some bizarre way -had me up for attendance review on a technicality due to my miscarriage. Which is illegal.

I left without a job to go to and found a permanent one about 4 months later after temping company kept me on- it's great. Sometimes you just need to break free!

If you are worried anyone asking about the break just say change in personal circumstance and they won't ask any more. But have a cover story - mine was renovating the house / sick parent/child /more freelance work/ starting own small business (eg Etsy)

Good luck! You don't need it though. It is what it is, everyone is allowed to leave.
I hope your next post is something you really enjoy!

I finally resigned after thinking about it for a couple of years...only wonder now is that I didn't sooner! Love my new job, got my mojo back...I'm not going to stay as long in a job again unless I really love it.

I appreciate the help and advice!

Can't sleep because I am so nervous about it. It's my day off tomorrow though thank god.

@Fired

I'm literally sat here putting an email
Together to send over to my two toxic awkward bosses in the morning.
I'm not due in till
Tuesday either however I've requested to condense my hours into shorter days because I am actually working a second job as well as this full time one because Covid financially cocked us up so by condensing my days gives me time to earn extra plus run a house and family.
It also means il see dh more than once a week as he currently works opposite hours to me.

It's shit and I've had enough but I've worked there for many years and it's got worse in the last few.

Everything's made so difficult with both bosses being shouty and toxic and it drags you down.

I'm jealous of people that have left because I'm still stuck there.

They're making up excuses as to why I can't condense my days that aren't there.

But I'm not giving in this time.

I was promised a good pay rise before Covid but then the pandemic hit but even though we've been bak working for quite a while now it's never been mentioned again but we do get told we'll be lucky if there's money to pay wages at the end of each month

I need to let them know in writing the reasons why I need to condense days even though they already know but are choosing to ignore it.

Honestly there is nothing in the world so satisfying as working your notice! I had to give 2 months but in that time I did as little as possible! I was leaving to go to uni as a mature student so its not as if I needed references. Once youve dont a degree no one is really interested in what you did before.

If you are not immediately in need of looking for another job make the most of it and relax. Make that your revenge.

Best of luck.

@Scrollonthroughtherain

Sounds like constructive dismissal. Speak to acas.

Seconded.

Before handing in your notice without having a new job to go to, speak to your gp about getting signed off with stress, go for your interviews, and if they don't come up with anything, go down the constructive dismissal route.

OP I ummed and ahhhed about my previous toxic job. I thought i had to get through a year for my CV. In the end I kept a work diary and once I had 28 truly awful days I resigned. It only took 7 months to have that many. I got a temp job with a sympathetic local temp agency who knew about the reputation of my former employer and bigged me up to a blue chip company where I remained for 14 years and did pretty well. You won't regret it!

Well it's done now.

Email sent but no reply yet.

My heart is still pounding. Can't believe I've done it.

Well done! You won't regret it !

This is like my last job.

I didn’t need a reference so I let rip in my resignation letter and face to face.

It was wonderful.

(They were absolute shits to me after a MC too. Kept calling me while I was in hospital after a haemorrhage, telling me I was making their lives very difficult by not telling them exactly when I’d be back. The midwife who was with me at the time heard every word and was absolutely enraged).

I’ve recently finished from a similar work place.
It was a weirdly hostile paranoid workplace,
and coupled with being very needy and dependent on me as a hard worker while others did fuck all, it did a number on my home life.
I had to give a number of months notice period, and they literally rode me ragged during it, and were still contacting me about work after I’d finished employment there!
So glad to have left, feel as though I’ve been set free, am sure you will feel the same

Well done! I’m resigning from mine at the end of this month and feel the same.

Well done op - you've just started the first day of your new work life!

How exciting- I hope you find a job that you really love - it's horrible dreading going into work

Oh, OP, I was where you are a few weeks ago. I lost my shit, sent an email and that was it.

The aftermath was shocking. No exit interview, toxic boss didn't ask why I was going. Just what did I need to hand over and how soon could I be gone. (Since I hadn't taken any annual leave this year, she insisted I have it before my finish date-- which gave me only a few days to hand things over. It screwed over my colleagues, the clients and our funders.)
I had offered to be flexible with my notice but clearly it was more important to see the back of me. And she was as rude as possible until I was gone. I have never seen a bigger display of cutting off one's nose to spite one's face.

Anyway, before my finish date, I had an offer for a job with better wages and more flexibility.

Well done op! I have been thinking about you!

Well done OP 👏

I handed my notice in from a crap job with shit bullying management..the boss ignored me for a week. Very immature.

Well done OP best wishes for your new chapter

They sound just awful. Is it family run or are their bigger bosses who need to know about the issues?

I know it's an old thread but this is just like me! I've been in my job for 4 years!!! And hated it since day 1. I have no colleagues, just me, my boss and another guy who sucks up to my boss constantly. Over the last 4 years my boss has told me I've gained weight, scolded me for asking to leave half an hour early for a dr's appointment and then asked what the appointment was for, told me I'm not allowed more than 1 week off at a time, made me cry on my birthday lol and more recently, she came into work knowing she had covid! I am finally ready to leave but unfortunately I can't quit without anything lined up as I am currently going through a house purchase so need to keep my job for my mortgage application, I am applying for jobs though and I can't wait for the day I hand my notice in, I can't imagine how relieved I'm going to feel! How are you doing now OP??

I was in this situation a few weeks ago and eventually just did it. I do wish I had waited to find another job first though.
I do feel so much better for leaving a toxic job though.