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Original poster

DC room arrangements, who should share?

39 replies

BedroomPickle · 10/10/2021 20:47

I have 4 sons, 18, 16, 14 and 7. There are 4 bedrooms, me and DS7 have the downstairs bedrooms and upstairs DS16 and DS14 share and then DS18 has his own room.

My sister has some issues and whilst she needs to sort herself out I'm going to be looking after her kids, I don't know how long it will be for but it's looking like quite a while right now. My nieces are 15 and 13 and my nephew is 12. I'm thinking the girls will have to move into DS7s room and share and then I'll have to make upstairs for the boys. That leaves DS7 and my nephew needing rooms so I don't know who should share. I could have DS14, DS16 and DS18 in one room and then my nephew and DS7 in the other but DS14 and DS18 don't get on very well so having them all in the same room sounds like an accident waiting to happen, although all DC share one room at their dad's house.

I'd really appreciate other people's opinions on who should share because I'm stuck on who should go where.

OP posts:
SickAndTiredAgain · 10/10/2021 20:50

Nieces together, DS 18 and 16 together, nephew plus DS 7 and 14 together?

Unless there is any other room that could be temporarily made into a bedroom? A living room, or dining room? Not ideal though I know.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/10/2021 20:52

Bed1. You
Bed2. The girls
Bed3. The 16yo and the 18yo
Bed4. The rest

At a push, put the 7yo on a fold away bed in your room.

BlackeyedSusan · 10/10/2021 20:54

is there a dining room to turn into a bedroom?
Could you sleep in the living room?
what are the sizes of the bedroooms?
18 +16
14 +12+7 (biggest room)
girls
you

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Families
TamponSupport · 10/10/2021 20:58

Room 1: Girls in together
Room 2: DS14 & DS 16 (you know this works)

Then you've DN12, DS18 and DS7. Depending on space I'd
Put DS7 in my room, DS18, DN12 in together.
Or all three in together.
Or DN 12 in with 14&16 and 7&18 together.
Or what PP said.
Or can you partition somewhere off for either DS18 or DN?

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 10/10/2021 21:04

Are the rooms all similar size? Do you have bunk beds or several singles?

Three extra children is a lot to take on in a 4 bed house but sounds like you are doing something good for your sister abs her children.

DS16 + 18 together,
DS14, 7 and nephew
Nieces
You

But the bed situation is relevant too

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 10/10/2021 21:05

You could sit and discuss with your boys how it would work best bearing in mind they will all have to share.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/10/2021 21:10

I'd agree with:

Ds18 and ds16
Ds14, nephew and ds 7 (if one room is bigger they get the biggest)
Nieces
You (probably in the smallest room)

Sounds tricky and like you are doing an amazing thing.

icedcoffees · 10/10/2021 21:10

I would put you in one room.
DS 18, 16 and 14 in the biggest room with a partitioned area for the eldest if possible.
The girls in one room.
The 12yo and the 7yo sharing the fourth room.

amylou8 · 10/10/2021 21:16

Can you make an extra bedroom by giving up the living room or dining room temporarily? If not I'd go with
Girls
Your eldest two
Nephew + 14yo
You
I would probably have the 7 year old in with me as it's quite a big age gap, unless he gets on well with the younger 2 boys.

Original poster
BedroomPickle · 10/10/2021 21:39

I've got a sofa bed in my room so I could either have DS7 in with me or I could move to DS7s room and put the girls in my room as DS7s room is quite small. DS14 and DS16 have the biggest room, and they have a bunk bed with a double bed at the bottom but most nights they end up in the double together anyway so I could maybe have DS18 on the top bunk in that room then nephew in DS18s room but I'm trying to think of who would need the most space.

At the minute there's a double bed + sofa bed in my room, a single bed in DS7s room, bunk bed with double bed at the bottom in DS16 and DS14s room and then a small double in DS18s. I could sleep on the sofa but considering I've no idea how long the kids are staying I want everyone to feel comfortable.

OP posts:
BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 10/10/2021 21:42

You need to be comfortable too OP

TheCanyon · 10/10/2021 21:45

@BunnytheFriendlyDragon

You could sit and discuss with your boys how it would work best bearing in mind they will all have to share.
This is absolutely the correct way. You cannot move several other kids into your house without your kids approval, no matter how noble you think it is.
Notaroadrunner · 10/10/2021 21:52

Keep a room for yourself - you'll need somewhere calm to escape to
Girls have one room
Boys split the other 2 rooms.

Original poster
BedroomPickle · 10/10/2021 22:00

My sons are fully aware of the situation. They know it's probably going to come down to them sharing and they're OK with it. DS18 and DS7 are a bit reluctant as they aren't as used to sharing even though they do at their dad's but they understand what's going on.

DS16 and DS14 are very close, DS16 and DS18 are too but 18 and 14 argue constantly and so DS16 tends to be the peace keeper between the three of them. My kids haven't seen their cousins in person in a while due to covid so I hope they'll get along. I'm definitely having the girls together downstairs.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/10/2021 22:10

You take 18yos room.

7yo and 12yo in your double bed with nephew on the sofa bed in there.

Get a fold away for the 7yos current room and put nieces in there.

16yo and 18yo in the bunk room.

AhhWoof · 10/10/2021 22:18

No comment, but just wanted to say you're amazing for taking this on.

Original poster
BedroomPickle · 11/10/2021 16:47

Thank you everyone

DS16 and DS14 still want to share so I'm going to figure out which one of the other boys will share with them. I also don't know whether it would be easier to move the boys downstairs and have the girls upstairs instead because DS16 and DS14 have the room with the bathroom and I don't know whether that would be better for the girls.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 11/10/2021 16:53

How often do they stay at their dad's? Do you think they may want to stay there more?

Original poster
BedroomPickle · 11/10/2021 21:53

The boys are at their dad's every other weekend and they go after school every Wednesday. Their dad works every other weekend so when he isn't working they go and stay over and DS18 goes to his dad's more often but the other boys aren't as bothered about staying over more frequently and it has been discussed recently because of the situation, but their dad lives further away from the schools they go to and all 4 of them would have to share a room more often.

OP posts:
SymbollocksInteractionism · 11/10/2021 22:17

1- you and ds 7
2- girls
3- ds 16, 14 and dn
4- ds 18 (leaving his room for ds 7 to sleep in if he's at his Dad's more often? )

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 11/10/2021 22:34

@SymbollocksInteractionism

1- you and ds 7 2- girls 3- ds 16, 14 and dn 4- ds 18 (leaving his room for ds 7 to sleep in if he's at his Dad's more often? )
Why does ds18 get his own room rather than op?
Dobbyafreeelf · 11/10/2021 22:42

Could you put
ds7 in with ds18?
You in ds7 room
Nephew in with your other 2 boys
Nieces share your room

SymbollocksInteractionism · 11/10/2021 23:01

@BunnytheFriendlyDragon
18 y olds tend to spend more time in their rooms. Studying, watching tv, gaming etc. Older adults and wee ones not so much.

I have a 19 year old and a ten year old and in that situation would have my ten year old in with me rather that thinking about the Dynamics of a big age gap in the same room. Also he is small and cuddly!
I appreciate not everyone would like this though. OP asked for suggestions and that is mine.

Original poster
BedroomPickle · 12/10/2021 16:05

I'm very grateful for everyone's suggestions.

DS18 and DS7 are probably the ones that spend the most time in their rooms but I'm thinking for now I might have to put DS18 in with DS14 and DS16 and hope they get along, then DS7 and nephew in DS18s room and the girls either in my room or DS7s. If it doesn't end up working with the three of them I'll have to switch things around. I didn't realise but my nephew (12) and niece (13) have been sharing a room for the last year and niece (15) has had her own room. If they really want to share I could move all three of them into DS14 and DS16s room then have DS14 in DS7s room and DS16 in DS18s room but I think the girls need their own space away from the boys and DS14 and DS16 want to stay together.

The kids come on Friday and I'm a couple beds down, do you think teenage girls would prefer bunk beds or 2 single beds? If I put bunk beds in DS7s room then there would be more space for other stuff in there and I could move his single bed upstairs for either him or my nephew. If my 3 teens can't get along sharing together I'll have to have DS7 in with me and then move my nephew in to share with DS14 and DS16.

OP posts:
CareerConcerns1999 · 12/10/2021 17:00

You could (in the short tern) put the nieces in the bottom bunk (double) and nephew above in the single, then, as a whole family, have a chat about what's best long term.

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