How mumsnet has influenced my outlook

[Bloballbovish]

Today I was by a river with lots of boating activities and there were men rowing up and down. I only saw one boat of women, but many of men, and my first thought was 'selfish twats, spending their Sunday doing this while their wives are stuck at home with the kids, probably posting on AIBU about their husband's' outing' hobby taking up all weekend'!

I know that won't be the case for all of them but it just amused me that I thought of that before anything else.

I think that when I see groups of male cyclists

Mumsnet has helped me to become far more of a feminist. Can't believe I'd never even heard of playing patriarchy chicken until I came here.

My dad's a cyclist and my mum loves the peace and quiet when he goes out, it hadn't occurred to me that other women wouldn't like it until here!

I had experienced a lot of feminist views in lesbian spaces previously but what I like about mumsnet is that it's a wider spectrum and interesting to see how feminism is perceived by straight women, and how sexism affects their lives in many different ways that I hadn't really considered. I haven't lived with a man in a relationship so a lot of stuff just hadn't occurred to me.

It was also mumsnet that made me step back from some of the 'mother/wife' roles I'd taken on and think why the fuck am I the one doing all this shit. I remember when my 17yo stepdaughter spilt something and left it for ages and when I pointed it out to her she said 'oh do you want me to clean it up for you?' as if she was being helpful and I went into a long rant about how her cleaning HER OWN mess was not doing it FOR ME.

I also have the same immediate thought now when I see a group of cyclists.

Mumsnet has massively opened my eyes to the disparity in my relationship when it comes to split of domestic and childcare responsibilities and how unfair that was, and has led me to forcing some changes at home to even that out.

I really like that aspect of Mumsnet. It's a woman centred space. You don't understand how rare that is till you look elsewhere for it.

Good things and bad things.
The good: opened my eyes to experiences of many women, and as PP says, having a women only space
The bad: I realised abuse, classism and agism is much more prevalent than I had thought

It’s made me realise that I was a complete push over and that it’s ok to say no to things and not be guilted into stuff for other people and that I need to be a strong confident example of a woman to our three dd so they go out and make their mark confidently too.

That my dh is fundamental a good bloke and that my life would be much poorer without him even if he drives me nuts some days.

That some people are in awful situations that they sadly blame themselves for not the wastes of space they are with as they have been so downtrodden.

It’s made me feel less alone in finding it hard to make friends and also see that it’s normal for having children to put a lot of pressure on relationships.

It’s helped me realise after many years that pnd was probably caused by carrying the entire mental load and all the childcare and housework and guilted by mum and mil to leave work. ‘What’s the point if having a baby if you’re not going to look after it’ I liked work, I’d worked hard to get there but the stress and guilt and having no clue what to do. Was awful. and that I actually wasn’t a failure. Just not supported. At all.

I think of mumsnet every time I use my loo brush 😆

I have become so much more aware of feminist issues too. Also when I post some stuff and get straightforward feedback I get to see things from another perspective in a safe space i.e. before I put my two feet in it in real life

Yeah I think that when I see cyclists.

To be honest l have never thought that way,
I like to see people out enjoying themselves and if women choose to be martyrs, good luck to them, if my late husband went out doing something nice l would be pleased for him, but make sure l do something nice for me, it's not rocket science,
I personally am sick to death of all the anti men posts, l don't want to be that narrow minded, when you see a house on fire and firemen running in, or see our young soldiers going off to Afganistan etc, do you think the same?

Mumsnet has turned my head and made me realise the man I call my partner is an utter loser.
I'm getting my ducks in a row.

It can be one sided but that’ll okay because it is primarily a woman’s space.
‘That doesn’t work for me ‘ and ‘did you mean to be so rude’ have come in very useful.
‘People pleaser’ was not a concept I was familiar with as I was raised to fetch and serve and put all needs before my own. But this site has made me more aware of my own needs and I have found ways to state them without getting emotional, which has been very liberating.

It's opened my eyes to how nasty women can be to each other

Good for those men who have a hobby that's getting them out of the workplace, keeping them fit and giving them some social activity too.

But I've never seen all men as The Enemy and all women as Allies.