Ever regretted giving up volunteer work?

[Midnightneighbour]

I enjoy the work, love the animals we work with and get along great with the other volunteers but there’s a couple of the ‘experienced’ volunteers that I just don’t like and they’re making me consider giving it up. I’ve not fallen out with them personally but several others have and they’re causing stress which is tainting it for me. They bitch about everyone and each other a lot, they constantly dismiss everyone else’s very valid ideas, their communication skills are so poor. Eg. They’ll ask for help with something outwith your normal working hours and when you turn up there’s no-one there because it got cancelled without them telling you. I try my best just to go in, do the job on my set hours and interact with them as little as possible but they’re in charge of decisions that affect us all because they’ve been there so long. I’ve been there just over two years now and I’m getting fed up of being disrespected because they think they know it all when they don’t. I stood my ground with them before so they don’t try to boss me about as much as they do others but I just don’t want to work with them anymore. I’ve heard this is common with volunteer work. Anyone had a similar experience?

Volunteering shouldn't make you resentful. You should enjoy it, or at the least find it satisfying.
You don't have to give up volunteering though. You could volunteer somewhere else.

I really enjoy the work though. I mainly worked with others before but recently I’ve had to work more alongside these two because of staff shortages and they’re just horrible people. It’s hard making small talk with someone you know is going to be bitching about anything you discuss to someone else the next day. I could talk about something as neutral and positive as how much I loved watching strictly and they’d bitch about it the next day. I’ve volunteered elsewhere before but I’ve never enjoyed the job as much as I do this one.

Can you work there only when the problem ones aren't there?

It's a real shame these people are making you feel this way. Volunteering should be fulfilling and you certainly don't need to tolerate any kind of bullying or belittlement while giving your time for free!

When I've left positions/groups like that it has made me sad but only for what it used to be, or could/should have been. When I think about how it actually was I know it was the right decision. Leaving gives you the space to find something that is a better fit.

Go to the volunteer manager and tell them. You’re not paid, so you can just say I don’t want to work with those two.

Do you have a volunteer manager to share your concerns with? I bet it's unlikely that you are the only person upset by the behaviour of these two and it doesn't reflect well on the charity either.

I'm a volunteer manager and I'd be very concerned at this situation. Just because people are giving their time doesn't mean they can behave as they like.

They are the volunteer managers and one of them is in charge of the rota. It’s a community group so there’s no paid staff. It was started by others who’ve since retired so these two became the group ‘managers’ by default because they’ve been there the longest and spend more time there than most others. They work there five days a week and I do two days a week. I know I need to either just grin and bear it when I’m working with them or quit. It just makes me sad. I’ve heard others talk about being relieved to walk away from volunteer work but you don’t hear about those who’ve regretted it or didn’t want to leave a job but felt they had to.

I’m trying not to be too outing but other examples are: They said they needed a skill tradesman for a job but couldn’t afford it. Another volunteer’s cousin said he’d do it for free as long as they paid for the materials, he bought the materials and they decided they didn’t want to spend the money. They didn’t even tell him. They told her and she had to tell him, he couldn’t return the materials, had to sell it on and he was extremely pissed off and she got the blunt end of his anger because she’s the one who asked him to help. He said he’ll never help again.
They let their friends/family handle the animals but told other volunteers only a volunteer with ‘training’ can do it.
They make major decisions about spending money raised without discussing it with the rest of the group. I don’t think they’re stealing or wasting it. They just have zero interest in what we think about it even though we’ve all been involved in raising the money.

In your situation, honestly, I'd walk away. It's a shame but I can't see the situation improving. Voluntary work shouldn't be making you miserable.

You could leave the door open for yourself by saying you need to step away for a while, for family reasons, say, and see what happens.

I think they are arseholes.

Is there another similar charity which you could volunteer at instead?

Walk away. They manage the organisation, and it will gradually develop a bad reputation (if it hasn't already).

Find another organisation to help with that is managed more professionally or with someone who has the ethics you respect managing it.

Ive walked away from a volunteering on a matter of principle, when the charity did something I considered deeply immoral and against its aims. I miss it every day but can’t go back unless the charity reverses its course and even then there’d be a bit of a sour taste in my mouth

@PennineWayinSlingbacks

In your situation, honestly, I'd walk away. It's a shame but I can't see the situation improving. Voluntary work shouldn't be making you miserable.

I'm afraid I agree with this @Midnightneighbour

These "managers" are too ingrained in how they do things to care about anyone else - including having respect for other people who are willing to donate their trade skills for free. The incidence of the tradesman who offered his time for free and only asking reimbursement for supplies won't be the only incidence going forward - if any other volunteer is silly enough to source that help. And, as another PP said, you are supposed to enjoy volunteering. At least if you are unhappy at a job you are still being paid... 🌹

Honestly, I would walk away. There are hundreds of other charities and organisations that would welcome your time and effort.

Volunteering shouldn't make you miserable, find something else that is fulfilling and where you are appreciated.

What other volunteering opportunities are their that would suit you better?

Ultimately these people sound awful. But if on balance you enjoy going despite them?

It doesn’t sound like you’d get anywhere by confronting them on every issue - so how funds are spent : “next time, I think we should have a vote on big projects”, on cancelling events “I rearranged my week around xyz, I understand you’re busy but I won’t be able to be as flexible again if there’s a risk it’ll be cancelled without my being notified”, on loaning about other volunteers “if you think Volunteer A shouldn’t do xyz then I’d rather it was dealt with privately and directly, I don’t need to hear about it”, etc etc. Realistically you’ll end up leaving before they change.

Are there any trustee's you could speak to about your concerns ?
From what you have said it doesn't sound like a nice place to volunteer. I think someone has already mentioned this but you could say you need to take a break for two or three months. This might give you a chance to realize if you truly miss it or not.

And to answer your question no I didn't regret giving up after three years of volunteering. I felt my time was done at the charity I was at. I hope to be voluntering somewhere else within the next few months though.