Am I alone? Always fearing the worst

[flingoo]

I promise I'm cheerful most of the time.
However I always fear the worst... if I take an alternate route when driving it crosses my mind that I could get into an accident I wouldn't have had I gone the other route.
My husband is late from work and I was expecting a knock any moment to tell me he had died in an accident.
This is not infrequent for me. (He's now on his way home and obviously alive) but I don't even stress and panic about it. It's like I have to imagine the worst every single time to make sure I can handle it in the exceptionally unlikely situation that all of my disasters come to fruition...

(I'm not wishing him dead, I adore him!)

I'm a raving nut job aren't i?

Yes, I'm afraid you are. Always look on the bright side of life. The glass is half full, not half empty.

Your not alone! I'm the exact same with my other half doesn't help that he drives alot and doesn't have set times to be home, I've practically planned his funeral on many occasions cause he's not answered the phone etc. It's awful and I don't know why I do it and weirdly it's mainly just my other half that brings it out in me. I done CBT with my local authority and found it good but it takes alot of practice. Helped me to understand that catastrophising was a vicious circle. Try looking up CBT might help. But please know your not alone 😉

Mmm, catastrophising, it's such a pain isn't it? One of my earliest memories if of looking out of my grandparents sittingroom window for my mum who had gone out for the evening. She was late getting back and my granny assumed she had been in an accident! Ridiculous, she was home 10 minutes later safe and sound, but obviously the thought wormed it's way into my subconscious, because I've been anticipating disaster ever since. I notice that my mum, now in her 70s does it too. Im trying very hard not to pass it onto my DC.

It's not quite as simple as always looking on the bright side unfortunately. I wish...

Oh gosh, me too! All the time. I'll be out walking and think, a bus could crash and fall over that bridge on to the path. Things like that. I also worry if I don't hear from people or if they're late. I think you're right that it's imagining the worst case scenario to kind of guard against that happening. It sucks though. I wish I could stop it!

"The glass is half full, not half empty." - but, in either case, it's piss and we all have to drink it anyway. Bottoms up, then Chin chin. Cheers.

"I done CBT with my local authority and found it good" - I asked my local authority about cock and ball torture but they said it wasnt a service they provided so I went to the local Dominatrix instead.

You're not a "nut-job", OP. It's natural to worry about things but please just try and chill out a bit. And remember to wear decent pants just in case.

if I take an alternate route when driving it crosses my mind that I could get into an accident I wouldn't have had I gone the other route

Meant to add, I kind of do the opposite of this. If I walk down one street I think well phew, I've avoided the disaster that would obviously have happened to me if I'd gone down that other street instead.

I'm similar in my thinking. It's anxiety. If I imagine the worst, I'll be prepared. However, despite all scenarios being covered in my head, something else unexpected will occur! And I manage. I recognise it now and try dismiss it. Read about catastrophising as mentioned above.

I'm exactly the same as you. I am ex-Police so unfortunately my brain is trained to see the worst case scenario in any given situation as that's how I survived in the job.

"What's the worst possible thing that could happen in this situation? Ok, how do I deal with it if that happens?"

Obviously if the worst didn't happen then great but if you just waltzed into every situation oblivious then that's how you got yourself killed 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sadly, that mindset translates into my personal life and even though I've not worked for the Police for a long time now, I can't switch it off. My partner (who has never worked in that environment) is very much a glass is half full person and can't understand why I worry about absolutely everything and catastrophise every possible scenario.

I am getting better, as he's good at "talking me down" lol but it's very hard so I do feel for you.

Yes I catastrophise everything. Everytime I get in my car it's going to breakdown. If DP is 10 minutes late he's dead. My house is alarmed and CCTV'd to death, so I can check For burglars and on the cats when I'm not home, and the time I couldn't because the WiFi had dropped out for 10 minutes the place had of course burnt to the ground. I spend ages stressing about things that will likely never happen. On the plus side when something does go wrong I'm ready for it 😂.

You are not alone. I catastophise everything.

I would recommend trying to get CBT for it ASAP. I’ve been doing it for so many years now that my brain does it constantly.

I can’t even walk down the stairs without being fearful I’m going to fall down them or walk over a grid without visualising that my keys/phone are going to fall down there.

It’s exhausting.

I wish I had been signposted for some kind of help/support a couple of decades ago when I first noticed I was doing it.

Guilty of this too.

Have you had something happen in your past to make you feel like this?