Please has anyone else had really bad depression?

[Falafel45]

Really struggling tonight... I feel really alone and have no one to talk to. Everything has got on top of me, had so many difficult things to deal with in my life and since I had my baby everything has just got so much worse. My dh isn’t there for me and acts like he does everything which isn’t true at all. He doesn’t like me speaking to anyone else. I feel so alone and trapped. Has anyone else felt like this?

Talk to us lovely, just type and let it out x

Hello OP. Yes I have been very ill with depression. I know some of what you’re feeling and I’m so sorry to hear it.

Keep talking to us 💐

@MonkeyPuddle thank you...
It all just feels like too much to bear.
I didn’t have a very happy childhood - my dad is an alcoholic and was very difficult and controlling and verbally abusive to me and my mum. My mum was unhappy but passive and let my dad treat me badly so even though she was a good person, the fact she didn’t stand up to him really hurt me. Then when I was 16 my mum got a terminal illness, she died when I was 19. I was,left alone to cope with my dad and his issues and suffered severe emotional abuse.
I met my dh when I was 22 and probably rushed into marrying him to escape my dad. Even though there were red flags, I went ahead...
I feel like he’s controlling and it’s all on top of me. I think I’ve got post natal depression and I also have a chronic illness .. it’s all just too much. I carry on every day but inside I feel so bad

That does sounds like an absolute shit load to deal with lovely.
Thinking practically have you looked for help for glue you’re feeling? Booking a GP phone call? Put a really honest post on the relationships board (but make a point of saying how hard you’re finding things)
Any friends ot family you can turn to?

Do you think you could go and see your GP? You could show them what you’ve written here.

I know you don’t feel able to talk to anyone but is there a friend nearby or a neighbour who seems friendly?