How do you get through the period up to a disiplinary hearing?

[TrainforSpeed]

Colleague has done something really stupid and is charged with gross misconduct.

There's no doubt he did it and he admits as much. Employer is following process to the letter, investigation has been done and he's been given 10 days' notice of a formal hearing.

Personally I think he's on a fine line. It's the kind of thing he could be sacked for but if they decide they want to keep him he'll get a warning. I don't know how that will end.

Meantime he's come to me to tell me how much he's struggling with anxiety. I'm not involved in the process for him? I'm kind of a sideways team leader.

I can't reassure him, there is every possibility this will end badly, but I'd like to support him just out of human decency if I can. He's a young man in his first "proper" job after a series of temp jobs, this was a real opportunity for him but of course he's brought this on himself.

I've said keep busy, do a good job, get some support for the meeting. That's all I've got!

Is there anything else I can suggest to get him through these next few days?

What about your union, can't they help?

My union might help me but he's not in it.

Is he suspended? Quite often, these things come with a suspension until the hearing and a condition can be that there can be no contact with any company employees, only with union reps.

Is he allowed contact with you? I would be sure if that before anything else.

Support wise, all you can really do is be a sounding board. You cant give him any hope or reassurance. There isnt anything you can do beyond practical advice and listening to him.

Does your employer have an employee assistance programme? If so advise he contacts them. It may help with the anxiety

No he's in work.

Yes, I did suggest the employee assistance programme as well actually.

If I was his friend I would advise him to get a sick note for anxiety, negotiate with his union for a neutral reference (depending on the severity, this might not be doable) and then use the time off to start looking for other jobs.

I don’t know if this is the right thing for you to do as a more senior member of staff though.

@Suprima

If I was his friend I would advise him to get a sick note for anxiety, negotiate with his union for a neutral reference (depending on the severity, this might not be doable) and then use the time off to start looking for other jobs.

I don’t know if this is the right thing for you to do as a more senior member of staff though.

I know the person doing the hearing and if he goes sick, he'll definitely be sacked. If he faces it and shows a good positive attitude in this period he stands half a chance.

How anxious is he OP?
Are you concerned he might harm himself?

@Tickledtrout

How anxious is he OP? Are you concerned he might harm himself?

No. He's just struggling with seeing people at work, although most people don't know anything about it, I guess it feels like they might.

Your advice is good then; keep busy, don't make it worse, talk to the union and employee assistance

Poor soul. Without saying too much is it something given the circumstances that was beyond his control even if he is responsible iyswim? It's almost as though the nails are already in the coffin. He really should have been in the union for support not least because there could be some negotiating leeway... that said is there any way he can leverage a reference, I'm assuming even if he's given the green light he might feel it's all been too much to stay.

No he did something really stupid and not work related in work time, using work resources, repeatedly over a long period of time. There's no defence really, it boils down to whether they think he's learned his lesson and/or whether they want to keep him more than they want to recruit a replacement.

TBH, if I was doing the hearing I'd probably let him go.

My post wasn't really about how to help him in the hearing but how he can get through these next few days

Suggest he joins a union.

Remind him that whatever happens it won't be the end of the world and he will move on from it.

If he faces it and shows a good positive attitude in this period he stands half a chance.

I'd tell him this in a round about way.
From what you've said, you're doing all you can in difficult circumstances. He just needs a friendly face at work by the sounds of things.

I agree Huckleberries.

His problem is going to be that he hasn't been there very long and although he started very well, he seems to have lost interest in recent months, probably because he's been distracted by this other thing he was doing. Or maybe he lost interest and that's why he was doing other thing.

He's definitely capable of doing a great job, but recently he hasn't been doing it.

Watching porn on a work computer? 🤢

He could get advice from ACAS but yes he needs to show remorse and mean it. I was involved with a lot of disciplinary proceedings as a union rep for years.

Is the other thing he was doing was running a business from work and using resources or just doing stuff online he shouldn’t have, sounds very traceable so no hiding.

Anyway one thing people don’t understand is how traceable stuff is they do on their computers and also any phone calls they have made on the companies phone line.

His only chance is total transparency and genuine remorse and employers can often sniff out the liars. The worst part for me was something coming out in the meeting and the person had not told me, even after extensive questioning and reassurance they had told me everything and the employer having tangible evidence.

@DerbyshireMama

Watching porn on a work computer? 🤢

Nooo.

I work in HR and advise those in this situation:

Contact the EAP and if you feel unwell your GP

Prepare what you need to say in the hearing, you can make notes to take with you.

Practice whatever self care works for you to reduce stress or anxiety.

Prepare that if it is dismissal, what you might do - is your cv ready, what kind of reference might be given about you to new employers, etc

I would say for the hearing, showing that you understand the impact and risk of your actions and a sincere plan of how you will behave differently in the future that is believable and convincing is important. Remorse sometimes comes across as regret at being caught. Definitely not anger or blaming anyone else or saying it’s unfair that he’s being disciplined. These things make the difference between a warning and having a job or dismissal.

Is there any way he can replace to work resources he used?
If it is physical resources, then he should replace them during this wait waiting period. That could go some way to show that he has thought about it and realise that he really shouldn't have used them.

But really, it sounds like he'll be going. If his standard of work has slipped on top of him using work time and resources to do personal things then they may not believe that his attitude will change, especially as he is relatively new. It sounds easier all round for the company to just get in a replacement and start fresh.

Might be better telling himt to do what he can to minimise the damage, get his CV in order and maybe start putting out some applications. Also maybe advise him to negotiate on the reference; he could ask that they only supply working dates and not give any further information.

Is there some scope for understanding - because there's huge difference if he'd been taking home the tea/coffee in the kitchen for the past few weeks vs if he'd been using his work computer to play video games / watch porn on work hours.

That said, all you can really do is offer a sympathetic smile because his levels of anxiety must be through the roof and can only really be managed after the fact when he knows what the outcome will be.