Does anyone else find their mood / mood instability gets worse at this point in the year when we go into autumn / winter?
I think I have noticed a pattern where I get worse around this point every year as the weather changes, and it continues through to around February / March when it starts to lift. I'm assuming that is what you call seasonal affective.
I was fine during the summer, then in the past week I've had what seems like mania and depression at the same time. Feeling jittery, unbalanced, paranoid even but also frequently crying, dark thoughts. I think I know by now it's not real and it won't last and I tell myself that which helps a bit. But it does last or it cycles through this part of the year and life feels so much harder when I'm battling my own brain.
I have a full time professional job. With an OH diagnosis of anxiety and depression on the record, though few people at all know that. I spend all my time when I'm like this pretending I'm OK when I'm far from OK. Noone at all knows how severe it really is. I think I'm a bloody good actress. But it's exhausting, the pretending. I kind of crumple when I'm not around people and put on a show when they are.
I'm alone apart from DD10 so noone sees it at home either. I hide it from DD too. Just to interested to hear others' experiences and if you experience this, anything specific you do to get through winter.