What's the strangest thing you have been told off for at work?

[NoEffingWay]

I once got told off for leaving on time, I had done my contracted hours, all of my work was done but apparently leaving on time was frowned upon .

The same job told me off when I left 'for only working my 4 weeks notice'. I think they genuinely expected me to stay even after leaving .

Aged 14 as a pot washer I was sworn at and threatened for scrubbing an absolutely filthy tea mug which was covered in stains. Turned out the twat of a pub landlord kept it like that on purpose - gives the tea more flavour apparently - and I'd removed months of dirt. Well don't put it into the pub kitchen to be washed then. I lasted two more shifts before being threatened again and having a hot pan thrown at my head.

Leaning against a table, while manning an empty stall at a social event Wish I'd laughed and told her no rather than compliantly standing up straighter.

As a junior lecturer, I was called in to chair a viva at the last min (literally), as the original chair couldn’t attend. I’d never done this before. I hoofed it to the room, as the viva couldn’t have gone ahead otherwise, only to be bollocked by the external examiner, in front of the candidate, for not bringing water with me for everyone 🧐
A) the begging supervisor said “just bring yourself”
B) I’ve no idea where I was supposed to magic water from, with a 2 min warning and no tap

Another time, I was invigilating an exam, again at the last min, to help someone out.
As it happens, the exam finished on the hour and the lecture theatre was booked for the next hour, so students were still filing out when the next lecturer turned up with her students, I was collecting papers
She bollocked me, in front of both sets of students for still being in the room.

For various reasons, including the way the staff were treated (and this was a well regarded, RG uni) I don’t work in academia anymore and now I’m very selective as to whom I help, as it seems to frequently backfire

@bloodywhitecat

I was told off for talking to a body. I used to work in a children's hospice and we sometimes cared for children who had died, I was checking on a little one before the family came to spend time with them and was telling the child what I was doing. The nurse in charge told me off for doing it because it was unnecessary and "freaky". The nurse in charge didn't last long in a hospice role and I continued to talk to the children whether they were alive or not.

As someone who has lost a child, thank you. That will have meant so so much to those families. 😘

Teacher here.

I created, for my own use but I was happy to share, an online weekly planner, with all my resources etc hyperlinked. This was nearly 20 years ago, & at the time I was the techy one in the department.

I'd offered to share with my department, & got a fairly resounding 'no ta Corvus, we like our week to a page A4 folders just fine, but you crack on, bless you & your adorable geekiness but it'll never catch on, y'know'. Okay, that was me told. Nicely but firmly. I was, at that time, a very junior member of the department.

A few months later I was observed. The SLT member in question loved my online planner.

I got a bollocking for not 'rolling it out across the department' & 'encouraging the adoption of new practices', despite the fact that I had absolutely no authority to do any of this.

I also then got a bollocking from the Head of Department for 'making me look like a fucking Luddite'.

Then the SLT member nicked my template & insisted that everyone had to use 'my planner...I've developed an idea Corvus had...'., so I was understandably unpopular, because people were mostly happy with their own planners & didn't like being mandated to use the thing I'd quietly put together for my own use/happy to share.

Then Ofsted came in & blasted us for 'over regulated, inflexible planning'.

Luckily, by this point SLT person had associated my bloody template so strongly with herself that it was her arse on the line rather than my lowly one.

I was at work i answered the phone at about 8.50, it was my regional manager asking to speak to my manager, she quite often rang at that time…

So i put her through and said ‘debbie…ive got helen on the line for you’

Helen complained to debbie that I hadnt asked who she was 😳

Never answered the phone at that time again…just in case it was her 😀

I got told off as 20 mins late for work after stopping to help at a road traffic accident.
I worked in a hospital.

Disrespecting the royal family. 😂😂😂

When I was late teens I got a summer job cleaning hotel rooms. About 2 weeks in all of us (about 15 women in the team) got called in to the office and got an absolute bollocking because the boss 's favourite employee (who was also in the room) had been raised by customs as "one of us" had shopped her for smuggling in cigarettes when she recently returned from holiday. I had probably only spoken to the golden one once or twice and had absolutely no idea what the boss was going on about. So utterly unprofessional and bizarre. The staff member was openly agreeing that she had been smuggling the stuff but told us that we were bitches and she was going to find out who had had the audacity to dob her in!

*raided by customs

Not wearing high heels. (This wasn't a job in Stringfellows. It was a law firm.)

A project leader in a new job, had a real go at me in my first team meeting because I dressed too formally (nothing special - shirt, trousers, flat boots) and should dress more like her. No office dress code, no PPE to be accommodated, white collar client facing project. She said I should reconsider my wardrobe and that the tone should be more akin to her wardrobe. That would be a Peruvian pipe band poncho thing with a billowing tweed skirt and statement necklaces, each bead of which was the size of a snooker ball . . . barking woman of which this was the least of her madness.

Leaning on my desk in front of a class. Apparently it was sloppy and casual.
I'd not long had medical intervention for my knee and it was the last lesson of a full day.
Same workplace - my scarf was too jazzy.

For not wearing make up

For getting locked in the building (an aquarium) by her because she didn’t bother to do a walk around to check there was nobody left.
She bollocked myself and another member of staff because she was almost home and had to call another member of staff with keys to let us out.

Complaining that there was not enough work in the treasurers office for four staff, could I be seconded to the rent rates department on their busy days.

Went into work the next day and the bitch had confiscated my super fast electric typewriter and somehow found a post war manual one that was a monster. Once I got the hang of it I was as fast as ever. I was then grudgingly allowed to float within the department

Shouted at because ONE fork was put in a different box. Manager is a good friend but at that moment they were an utter dick head.

Got bollocked for leaving plates to dry overnight only to be told a week later to leave the plates to dry overnight. Fucking madness… not the same dick head person

For saying "ok dokey" on a teams chat with my manager

For starting emails with "hello" rather than "Hi"
....

At 15 I was given a final warning for not wearing tan or make up to work. Apparently it looked bad that I was so pale!

Was told off by the cleaner for “throwing my hair on the carpet”. At the time I had very long hair and it shed a perfectly normal amount but was just more apparent as it was so long. He was really annoyed and seemed convinced I was purposefully throwing it around.

I was screamed at and told I was disrespecting the industry because the £45 hand soap in the work toilets made my hands crack and bleed, so everytime I went to the toilet I took my own bottle of soap, and left it in a drawer in the bathroom.

I should have been grateful for the effort the management team went to to provide us with nice soap. Yeah, nice soap that is making my hands crack and bleed all over my keyboard

@JasonMomoasgirlfriend

For saying "ok dokey" on a teams chat with my manager

For starting emails with "hello" rather than "Hi"
....

I got told of for saying "aye" instead of "yes"

I'm a Yorkshire girl so perfectly acceptable round these parts but not anywhere else apparently

Not me but a colleague was told off for wearing ‘the wrong shade of red’. This was back in my recruitment consultant days and we had specific colours we were allowed to wear - one of them being ‘red’.

I once got told off for asking somebody who they were over the phone, I worked on reception and directed calls. Apparently I should have known it was a personal call and shouldn't have asked. Like I knew all of the friends of the 40 odd people who worked there.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

When I was pregnant with dc1 I was a secondary school teacher. My head of department knew I was pregnant and had bad morning sickness. He told me off for leaving my well behaved year eleven top set (who knew I was pregnant and were lovely) alone for five minutes while I ran to the toilet to be sick. Nothing happened while I was out of the room except some chatting, but he happened to see me run down the corridor.

I asked what I should have done instead and he said that I should have been sick in the classroom bin (not envy).

Every time I puked when I was pregnant, I also wet myself. Sometimes a little bit. Sometimes a lot. But tena lady just didn't cut it to be honest.

I wouldn't have been able to just do it in a bin. I needed one end in a bucket and one end on the toilet.