The title sounds a bit flippant, but I'm seriously worried about my friend. She makes such obviously poor choices it's at the point where I wonder if she has some kind of hidden disability, or something. Some pretty awful stuff has happened to her as a result and I'm at my wit's end knowing how to support her to see sense and keep herself safe. There just seems to be a piece of the puzzle missing. Hoping MNers might be able to shed some potential light.
Considering everything that's been in the news I am actually worried she is going to be murdered sooner or later. I can only describe her attitude to everything as terrifyingly naïve. Obviously really dodgy men hone in on this and go for her. Its not just about men though, she's like this about lots of things, sort of dippy and naive or not thinking things through. Like she doesn't understand how the world works ... But then when she does learn she disregards it and does the same things.
For example, she came out of a very abusive long-term relationship, and with support from various women started to process that and see the patterns in his behaviour and warning signs, as well as having a sort of feminist awakening due to the wider issues. She really seemed to get it, be piecing stuff together herself and checking in with us to see what we thought. But since then there have been incidents with various men behaving from disrespectful to criminal, and she just doesn't see the warning signs. She actually had a relationship with one who had so many red flags it was unreal, who later when we Googled his name found out he'd commited violent and deranged crimes against another woman. My friend tells me she misses him (he was really bizarre and awful to her, though not violent). But all through this she had told me about his behaviour and she knew it was bad, but she wouldn't leave him, even when she saw the need to. She'd just sort of go giggly and vague and maybe start waffling about good energies (?) when I pointed out he was awful after she'd moaned to me about his behaviour.
Its not just men though, she seems to be kind of naive and unable to ascertain cause and effect before anything happens in various areas of life.
Has anyone ever known anyone like this? Might there be something more going on? Hidden disability? Trauma response?
I should say I was diagnosed with a hidden disability as an adult so am particularly aware of the issues it can cause of these things aren't known - as I mentioned, it's like there's a piece of the puzzle missing with her.