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Original poster

2 year old sleep help me

23 replies

clockledd · 07/10/2021 08:16

DD2 just turned 2. She has always been up at least 2-3 times a night. Last few nights has been 6+ times. I work FT, DH works shifts. DD is breastfed (I'm now ready to stop), history of food allergies, very poor eater, on medication for severe reflux still. I am EXHAUSTED. I can't do this. I've got a stressful, demanding job and am struggling to string sentences together on 5ish hours of broken sleep. What am I doing wrong? She wakes up screaming, won't accept DH, shouts for me/milk. I don't feed her to sleep, she goes in her cot asleep and falls asleep herself although this last bit has only been the last month or so. I don't want to leave her to cry as DD1 also needs sleep. Please tell me what has worked for you. My mental health is poor anyway but deteriorating now.

OP posts:

Original poster

clockledd · 07/10/2021 13:16

Anybody? God I am really desperate. DD went for a nap and I thought ok I can close my eyes and then 20 minutes in the bloody doorbell started going and woke us both up

OP posts:

Original poster

clockledd · 07/10/2021 16:56

Can anyone tell me anything please? I'm going to be on my own with the DC again tonight. I don't know how I'm going to cope. I feel like I'm cracking.

OP posts:

PintOfBovril · 07/10/2021 17:15

Hi @clockledd. You poor thing, it sounds totally overwhelming and exhausting.
I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of specific advice but I have been totally broken by sleep deprivation before and know it's so hard to see a way out of it when you're in the thick of a terrible period.
It will get better. Without intervention it will get better but it might take a long time. With some intervention it will get better and most likely quicker.
I would check out snoozysleep on Instagram. She is brilliant and she offers so much free advice and support via her q&a section which is saved in the stories bit at the top of the profile and then loads of specific insta stories about various issues including toddler sleep.
I hope for you that the situation improves soon and know that this too shall pass. Promise.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families

Original poster

clockledd · 07/10/2021 19:18

@PintOfBovril Thank you for your reply and being understanding. I needed that today. I had a look at the page you recommended, it's just what I need. Like you said, I'm so in it I can't see a way out, I feel like I'm too tired to make a rational decision about next steps. So it was helpful to see some sample routines and things. Praying for tonight to be better.

OP posts:

Glassofshloer · 07/10/2021 19:37

It sounds like she’s waking up from hunger.

The first thing I would do is wean her. Her appetite might pick up a bit if she isn’t relying on milk. Then you can tackle the eating problems. When you say a poor eater OP do you mean fussy, or just eats very little? Or both?

coconutlatte44 · 07/10/2021 20:17

@clockledd Just sending you positive thoughts, my 20 month old DS has never come close to sleeping through and I am also reaching breaking point
He got down to 1-2 night wakes but since starting nursery last month has been ill off and on and he's up 3-4 times instead
Also still breastfed and also scared of trying out the night weaning because we're both so tired that neither of us can face even a few days of nights more broken than they already are
He's absolutely obsessed with milk and always has been

Hoping things look up for us soon

Frazzledd · 07/10/2021 20:32

Just wanted to say your not alone OP

I've 2&4 year old Dds, my 2 year old just won't (has never) slept through the night.

Last night I settled her at 6.30 (she always goes in her cot around this time), my 4 year old didn't settle until 9.30, 2 year old woke up at 10.30 and just wouldn't settle until 5am. My 4 year old has just started school so I can't leave her to shout or she wakes her up, so end up cuddling but she's become attached to that now and I don't know how to reset (if you know what I mean!).

I can't sleep when their awake, they're not sleeping at the same times, at all. I had 2 hours (broken) sleep last night and on the go all day. I can't remember the last time I had more than 4 straight hours now.

I've posted about this before and been reassured it does get better, it doesn't help feeling like an extra from the walking dead, it hurts, but there is a light, somewhere!

Keep hanging in there, I'm with you!

mishmased · 07/10/2021 20:39

@clockledd you poor thing!
My first had and still has allergies. He woke every 2 hours until he was 23 months. I had to stop breastfeeding at night after I almost crashed my car at a junction. Thankfully the other car stopped but I didn't see the car.

I used the method by Dr Sears and adapted it. So I picked a set time and between those times would not feed her if she wakes up. So maybe between 11-5 no feeding. I spoke to my son beforehand and told him that the milk needs to go to bed at night. When he woke up I reminded him that milk was asleep. It wasn't easy but loads of cuddles, dairy free milk or water. And if he was really hungry a quick weetabix and back to bed but this was very rare. He slept for 6 hours a week later and then got better.
He did cry but I was there to comfort him and offered drinks or food if real hunger.
Sleep deprivation is horrendous, I feel for you.

Original poster

clockledd · 07/10/2021 22:00

Thank you all. It helps just knowing I'm not alone. All of my friends with DC the same age have had them sleeping through for ages.
I think maybe it is hunger What a shit mum I am if it is that.
I am going to try offering oat milk and telling her milk is asleep.

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addictedtotheflats · 07/10/2021 22:05

Definitely try and night wean. We night weaned my DS at 11 months and it made a HUGE difference. He still woke up a couple of times but his dad was easily able to settle him. We carried on bf until 28 months with no issues, he just stopped associating breast with sleep even in the day

Glassofshloer · 07/10/2021 22:27

@clockledd

Thank you all. It helps just knowing I'm not alone. All of my friends with DC the same age have had them sleeping through for ages. I think maybe it is hunger

What a shit mum I am if it is that. I am going to try offering oat milk and telling her milk is asleep.

Not a shit mum OP. Just stuck in a parenting rut which is so easily done.

LifeIsBusy · 07/10/2021 22:32

Have you tried cosleeping? My first has always slept better around us than away from us.

olidora63 · 07/10/2021 22:36

My GD is 22months and my daughter has started giving her weetabix just before bedtime about 7 pm and she has now started sleeping through.Good luck.💐

Glassofshloer · 07/10/2021 22:40

@olidora63

My GD is 22months and my daughter has started giving her weetabix just before bedtime about 7 pm and she has now started sleeping through.Good luck.💐

This is a good suggestion. Give her whatever she will eat, whether that’s a couple of biscuits or some porridge etc. It won’t ruin her eating habits for life, at this point it is more important that you all get some good quality sleep.

Patapouf · 07/10/2021 22:48

Weaning will probably help because she'll not have anything good worth waking up for. It's not a magic cure though and you might find she still wakes but you've lost the quick method to her her back to sleep.

It should only take a few weeks and shell get used to cuddling to sleep. The way I look at it, whatever it is they use to help them get to sleep at bedtime they will need in the middle of the night if they wake so it's better if that's a teddy bear to cuddle than a parent etc

Frazzledd · 08/10/2021 04:58

@Patapouf I just want to say thank you so much for your post, Teddy Bear (big bunny!) Has just bought me a night's sleep!
Why I didn't think to offer a different kind of cuddle is beyond me, the stuck in a 'parenting rut' post definitely rings true to me!

OP, thank you so much for your thread, don't ever feel your not doing a fantastic job, we can all try everything in the billion books and it just doesn't work, for no reason...then sometimes (out of the blue) something clicks. I really hope something on here helps you

Patapouf · 08/10/2021 19:00

[quote Frazzledd]@Patapouf I just want to say thank you so much for your post, Teddy Bear (big bunny!) Has just bought me a night's sleep!
Why I didn't think to offer a different kind of cuddle is beyond me, the stuck in a 'parenting rut' post definitely rings true to me!

I think sometimes we get so set in our routines, especially once we've figured out the quickest and quietest way of comforting them back to sleep that we daren't try and do anything differently in case it doesn't work!

DS still doesn't sleep through the night but it's miles easier to get him back to sleep now than it was when he was 18 months!

user1493494961 · 08/10/2021 19:39

Will she eat porridge to fill her up?

Pinkywoo · 08/10/2021 20:08

Does she still need a nap? DS is about to turn two and has always been a crap sleeper, but the last couple of months he's dropped his nap and is sleeping better at night. He still wakes up a bit but nowhere near as much, the first couple of weeks I had to stop him falling asleep in the afternoon but not napping has definitely helped nighttimes.

Ilovechocolatetoomuch · 08/10/2021 20:17

My second is a terrible sleeper. What always works for us is consistency. He has the same routine everynight then when/ if he wakes I go in reassure him till he stops crying then go out. I then repeat this until he goes back to sleep. I never let him leave his bedroom I never put on the light. Try to give a big pasta dinner or something a bit stodgy for dinner too.
I'm sorry you are going through this sleep deprivation is the absolute pits. Keep going you are a fab mum doing a great job.

Tootiredtowatertheplants · 08/10/2021 20:41

More solidarity. Mine is 3 next month and can still wake multiple times.
She may be a bit young still but as she gets a bit older we've had great success with sticker charts.
Currently gets a sticker for staying in bed until sun up on gro-clock (fixed her 5am waking) and a bonus one for staying in bed at time (and not coming out her room 1000 times).
My friend's kids all sleep too - it is the worst when they're moaning about struggling to get them out of bed for nursery when they've slept through

Motherofplants · 08/10/2021 21:54

Sounds like mine - allergies, reflux, didn't sleep longer than 2 hours until about 2 years old. 3 in January, I'm still cosleeping (only reason I survived) and he is down to 1 bottle of oatly barista (much higher fat and calories than the other oat milks) a night. I switched to paediasure before bed a few weeks ago and now he sleeps until 2 (instead of 11). He wakes from hunger due to feeding aversion, simply, he doesn't eat near enough.

Honestly, it's not you. Time will help, as will getting them comfortably full before bed and eating more consistently throughout the day. Hungry little ones can't sleep properly, it's really all you can work towards. Which teams are you under for the food issues, and what are they having you do?

I'd be bed sharing in your position though to save you having to actively get up - it makes it so much worse!

Original poster

clockledd · 09/10/2021 00:53

We can't co sleep because my eldest DD is still co sleeping. A whole other story. I've resisted it with DD2 for this long and am loathe to do it now.
Of course she's now come down with a vomiting bug which although might explain the past few nights isn't going to make the next few any better.
DH has no patience. It's now nearly 1am and I've still not slept. He is snoring happily

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