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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable??

18 replies

Bexs15 · 07/10/2021 08:09

I've been with my husband for 20 years now and we have 6 children together. I've tried everything I can to keep our relationship together but he's all take and no give. He lost his job 11 months ago due to covid and has absolutely no intention of getting another job. He just sits in the bedroom all day playing on his playstation and going out drinking with his friends. I get no support from him when it comes to looking after the children and he puts his needs and wants above everyone else's. Example I've recently had alot of problems with my stomach and had to go into hospital. The night I was taken into hospital I was in alot of pain and I had to cook dinner for the children doubled up in pain while he played on his playstation before I could go into hospital and my 16 and 18 year old had to look after my 10 week old baby because my husband was more interested in playing his game than looking after his daughter. He has told me a number of times when it comes to the children you had them you look after them. He takes £600 per month for himself out of our uc. If I refuse to give it to him he kicks off. For a long time I've thought it was me being unreasonable when I've asked him for help. I'm sorry for going on and if this don't make sense but I just needed to tell someone because I can't take much more

OP posts:
BloodyBack · 07/10/2021 08:43

Honestly OP, I think you would be better as a single parent, being a single parent is hard(especially to 6 children) but not as hard as trying to rely on help from someone who SHOULD help and doesn't, doesn't try to get a job and takes money away from the family. You and your children sound like you would be better without himThanks

LadybirdyBirdylady · 07/10/2021 08:51

Gosh yes you'd be better off mentally and financially alone.

He doesn't seem to contribute much to the household practically either so you wouldn't be losing out there.

And you'd have the added bonus of him not kicking off or doing to your head in.

IsDaveThere · 07/10/2021 09:15

Why are you still with this man?

Why does he need £600 per month, so that he can go out with his mates? He could kick off all he lies, he wouldn't be getting a penny off me until he got off his arse Playstation and did something about getting a job.

To be honest though, instead of stuggling to ccok when you were doubled up in pain and as your husband had no intention of helping you, couldn't your 18 year old have done it on that occasion so that you could go to hospital?

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pinkyredrose · 07/10/2021 09:23

He sounds fucking useless. God knows how you found him attractive enough to shag. He's got zero respect for you and zero interest in his children. Dump this leech.

PerseverancePays · 07/10/2021 09:44

You will manage much better on your own. It might seem frightening but once you’ve done it you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
You do not need to put up with this fully grown man behaving like a grumpy teenager forever, like he’s never going to leave home!
Quietly, find out what your rights are, what you are entitled to, how to get him removed from the tenancy . Then when you know these things you will know what to do next.
You don’t want your kids growing up thinking this is normal for a grown man do you?
Sending hugs and good luck 🌻 , you can do this. You might feel snowed under, but anyone who can have six children is no sissy!

Mischance · 07/10/2021 09:50

Your children are watching this - what are they learning from it? Nothing good.

Get out. I know it is hard, but the alternative is even harder.

Original poster
Bexs15 · 07/10/2021 10:04

My 18 year old has mental health issues and he does try help as much as he can.

OP posts:
Harlequin1088 · 07/10/2021 10:22

If he was my husband, his PlayStation would be going in the bin with a nail through it and then he'd be getting some divorce papers in it's place.

girlmom21 · 07/10/2021 10:28

Just divorce him.
Are the job centre not forcing him to look for work?

Eeiliethya · 07/10/2021 10:30

Get this horrible twat off the PlayStation, out of the bedroom and out of the front door.

You will feel so much happier without this shit.

You only live once OP, fuck that for a bag of chips.

IsDaveThere · 07/10/2021 10:40

@Harlequin1088

If he was my husband, his PlayStation would be going in the bin with a nail through it and then he'd be getting some divorce papers in it's place.
That's fair enough. You still need to dump the lazy manchild though, for the sake of you and your children!
IsDaveThere · 07/10/2021 10:41

OOps, wrong quote. Should have quoted this one:

My 18 year old has mental health issues and he does try help as much as he can

Dillydollydingdong · 07/10/2021 10:42

Kick him into touch. He's no good to man nor beast.

BrilliantBulb · 07/10/2021 10:57

You are being an absolute doormat. Obviously you need to divorce him.

pinkyredrose · 07/10/2021 11:36

You really do need to get rid of him. Your children are learning that this is how men treat women. Do you really want them to be in relationships like this in the future?

Original poster
Bexs15 · 08/10/2021 01:17

Thank you to everyone who replied. I have tried to leave once before but he wanted to keep the children with him. I dont have any close friends no more I havent for years now. I know he won't go himself hes not the sort. He will make it as hard as possible. Where do I Go? Can I get him removed from the property? We live in a council house which is joint tenancy and I'm under the belief that he would have to sign himself off the tenancy. I feel so trapped

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 08/10/2021 01:30

@Bexs15

Thank you to everyone who replied. I have tried to leave once before but he wanted to keep the children with him. I dont have any close friends no more I havent for years now. I know he won't go himself hes not the sort. He will make it as hard as possible. Where do I Go? Can I get him removed from the property? We live in a council house which is joint tenancy and I'm under the belief that he would have to sign himself off the tenancy. I feel so trapped
The children you have to take care of because you had them? Not a chance hed want them, if he says that you can laugh and say let me call my friends, we’d pay to watch you do some parenting for a change. Why don’t you cook dinner tonight so I know you’re not going to starve or poison the dc when you’re looking after all 6 of them. You say he’d kick off if you didn’t give him £600- let him kick off. Tell him to leave and call the police if you feel unsafe. Register as single, and do a separate post asking for ways to actually make him leave.
Shoxfordian · 08/10/2021 05:50

Can you call a solicitor next time he’s on his PlayStation and make a plan to divorce him? He’s a loser and he’s not supportive of you

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