Returning to work after large gap. Anyone done this?

[PinkCricket]

I have applied for a 3 day a week job after only doing "bits" of work for 12 years (!?!?!? How did that happen!)

Id love to hear from anyone else who has done this. I feel my confidence is a bit shot and Im anxious about fitting in.

Were you exhausted at first? What helped?

I'm hoping the extra money, all that good stuff about working etc helps.

I'd love to hear others experiences. Right now it looks exciting but terrifying. Especially now there's kids to manage too.

Don’t know if this brand new MN board might be of interest to you?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mature_students

It’s for anyone contemplating or engaged in study or retraining at beyond the ‘standard’ ages. Might be useful?

Hi, I had 15 years of being a stay at home mum, went back to work last year as a career. Iv been back at college part time since February and iv also got a reference now for other jobs.
Good luck.

Hello !

That looks great. Technically I'm already trained (2 degrees/PGCSE) but looking for non teaching jobs...

You might find some resources on this website. They have lots of experience in calming the nerves of returners

womenreturners.com/returners/

Well done Bebanjo!

Thanks Overthethames - I should hear today or tomorrow adn the anxiety about actually getting the job is increasing!

I've just gone back (FT) after a 16 year break - one month in and loving it. Moments of huge anxiety when some pressure was on, but mostly great. Can't quite believe how things worked out so that I got the job but feels like fate and huge amount of luck (and a very good recruitment consultant who happened to specialise with female returners).

Wow well done Sleepwhenidie! (I recognise your name but can't remember why!)

Sounds brilliant!

Hi OP! I returned to work after a 9 year gap. Been back for about 8 years now and still going strong.

I remember standing outside the office building shaking in my shoes waiting to go in for my first interview. I almost turned back at that point and had to force myself to go in.
In hindsight the biggest obstacle was my own confidence - the work itself was all fine. Well done for applying and all the best!! :-)

I'm the same situation right now! It's been 10 years for me, I was quite happy pottering but then a lovely job popped right into my lap.

Ive been really lucky, but am terribly nervous that I'll make a fool of myself, I'm out of my depth, what do I wear etc.

It was only after I accepted I thought eek, what will I do with the kids! But you know, plenty of people manage and I got that sorted.

Maybe we can keep each other sane?!

I should add that covid changed the situation completely for me, WFH would just not have been an option and I couldn't have agreed to take on a role that requires crazy hours sometimes when they would all have had to be in the office. As it is, my employer is super flexible about where I work and I am loving going in 2 or 3 days a week, or not at all if circumstances mean it is tricky/inefficient time wise.

I went back after 8 years. Was a bit of a commute so I was exhausted even part time.

I cried pretty much every work day for a couple of weeks but my husband got me through it.

It took a few months to really get back in to it but I got there.

A few years down the line now and all is well!

I started a part time job after 10 years at home a few weeks ago, they’re really flexible around the kids school times and I’m loving it, but definitely am shattered the evening after I work. I still get nervous going in but it’s so worth the extra money and some independence.

I am in that kind of position. I went off with DS1 13 years ago 😱 Then about 3 years ago, when DS3 started school, I got a supply job, so worked few & irregular hours, but when I could fit them in so no worries about childcare. Then lockdowns hit & I had no work.

I have now accepted a role of 18.5 hours per week, in my dream job. I started this week. So far, I am completely overwhelmed with juggling school runs, extra costs & trying to actually fit in some housework! Feel shattered! But also loving it, I finally feel important & needed & good at something. Plus i feel my DC look at me differently & with more respect.

Best of luck OP

Wow great to fead all these!

Unfortunately I didnt get this job 😞. All yoir comments are encouraging me to keep looking. I do feel I'm out of the market a bit.

It also turns out my 12 year old was anxiou about being home alone an hour after school and I have no idea how we'd do some of the holidays.

But I so wanted the job. We are struggling a bit financially and also I just want the feeling of "my job." I do bits here and there at the moment but its literally £50 here and there.

I am aware my confidence has completely plummeted. I think I was more employable and more confident in the first few years after uni!

I am "envious" of those with flexible hours around school! I think because the jobs Im going for are down a notch from where Id have hoped to be now I'll need to be present in work.

I will keep looking. It is sooo hard to find part time jobs!

I hope you find something that works for you and your family @PinkCricket! But sorry you didn't get this one.

Don't necessarily rule out full time jobs, you can always ask for flexible hours? Years ago I had a job that was advertised as full time but I asked if there was any chance I could do it 10-2. I made a big case about how I would be there to cover people's lunches and they loved that and it worked really well.

Wow 10-2 would be amazing!

I really wish I could have dine something differently and trained differentky to have something to fall back on. Im falling through the cracks a bit with being overqualified/ not up to physical demands of min wage jobs and yet not havig relevant/recent expereince for higher paid jobs.

Job i went for was laid less that my role 15 years ago.... yet my experience wasnt enough. I have kept my hand in a bit witb sessional work but feel a need for complete change!

Life is so stressy here. I had put so much hope into this job for financial/purpose reasons and also a bit of self sufficiency should my marriage get any worse..

I went to back to work after 8yrs as a SAHM, initially 14hrs a week and then a couple of years later into a 35hrs a week job (but Term time only!) It took a huge amount of juggling initially with 4DC in primary but am now down to 2 in primary, the secondary 2 are much more independent and it’s getting easier to manage everything.

What about self-employment, e.g. tutoring?

I've done it. I went back part time first in a different industry, which was a bit of a juggle because I had to get childcare for school holidays and didn't earn much. I've recently got a full time job at my children's school. I used to be a teacher and now I'm a TA so a step down in some ways but a massive improvement in life balance (which I was really worried about) and I adore my job. I don't particularly enjoy being badly paid though.

Universities are good for term time only jobs. I returned after 5 years, actually 8 or so years since my last full time job. I got the second job I applied for, flexible hours and term time only. I did volunteer for a year first though to get an up to date reference and build my confidence which made a big difference.

@PinkCricket don't be afraid to look at jobs where you can use transferable skills - and also don't sell yourself short, you've nothing to lose by applying for those higher level jobs, maybe they would see your experience and look at other roles. I am really trying to be more confident and think what would a man do (9 times out of 10 they'd apply anyway and fill in the blanks later). I constantly tell myself you don't ask you don't get and fake it til you make it etc, and it does help!

Are you on linkedin and have you put you are looking? I did that in a huff after being messed around by my now boss (crossed wires in the end) and had 2 calls from recruiters within a day.

I really hope life gets a bit less stressful for you soon.