What to do - maternity leave related

[Confusedmoana88]

Ds is coming up to 5 months. I am due to return to work when he is 6 months old. Original plan was Dh was going to take some annual leave for the first month I was back and then ds would go to nursery (a place isn't available until then). I will be wfh so around to help a bit but my role is extremely busy so not like I can really help that much during the day.

For reasons outside of our control dh can no longer take his leave. We're looking at other options for him to have the time off but it's not looking hopeful.

I have spoken to work and had originally agreed that I could wfh with a 6 month old while dh was also at home as he would be doing the majority of childcare. Now he is at work I'm not sure how practical this is going to be, although I have spoken to work about it and they have said its OK although not ideal. No other family around to help unfortunately.

I also asked about the possibility of extending my maternity leave a couple of months even though I am outside of the 56 days notice I'm required to give and they have said they would be happy to do this.

On paper extending my maternity leave looks the easy option, but I really enjoy my job and feel so guilty not going back yet. The money side isn't too much of an issue (appreciate we are very fortunate). I miss the people and miss the adult conversation.

However, I know I won't get the time back with DS so if I have the chance to have more time off why wouldn't I take it. I know work wouldn't think twice if they needed to make me redundant or something so why do I feel so guilty about messing them around!

Just extend a little, as long as its not going to cause you financial issues. I think work would probably prefer that to you trying to wfh and look after a baby.

I think you’re going to have to extend your ML. This won’t be the first time you make a decision against what you want to do, in favour of what you need to do for your child!

Wfh and looking after a baby will be a nightmare. It’s the worst of both worlds. If that’s the alternative I’d extend the maternity leave for sure.

Definitely extend! Trying to WFH with a 6mo baby, who is just starting weaning too, would be horrible. Just extend and save yourself the stress!

I thought you only had to give 28 days notice before returning? I think work full time with a 6month old will be really difficult. Have you accrued annual leave. Could you work a month of part time only and maybe work 4 hours per day around baby's naps?

I think extending your leave for a short period is the least stressful option for everyone and will help you get settling in sessions at nursery sorted without worrying about who is where and when (they can be very short sessions to begin with depending on how things go). If you go back as planned and end up with a complicated set of logistics it will colour both your mat leave and your return to work, but by keeping things as they are for a few more weeks for me is getting the best of both as long as the financial side of things is ok which it sounds like it is. You'll be able to go back to work focussed and your DC will be well on the way to being settled at nursery so you'll have time to get used to your new normal without it changing again a few weeks into your return.

Without question I’d extend your mat leave. I totally get the desire to get back to your career and adult conversations but it will still be there in a month. Juggling a baby between 2 FT working patents, especially with the additional demands of having to get back into it after 6 months out, will be really stressful. There’s no way I would do that unless I literally had no other option. From what you’ve posted it also sounds like work actually want you to extend mat leave given they’ve said they would be happy to do it but have said not ideal to you coming back with no formal childcare in place.

Another supporter for extending mat leave. It's no I fun trying to do both and you feel like you're doing neither job right and worse on the baby, they will become more mobile and engaged in the next few months and need more attention.

Have a look at other things you can do to get adult involvement, given work are happy to accommodate and you can still return to work I'd take the time. You won't regret it, but you could regret going back and trying to juggle everything.

Extend your leave, or find alternative care for the month.
Working from home, whilst looking after a 6 month old will be stressful for you all (as well as unlikely to be productive). Please dont go down this route. You will likely be failing your baby, yourself and your work.

Yep. I'm with everyone else. It will be nice to have a bit longer with him and a month is nothing really in the grander scheme of your career.

I would extend. Far better to go back with proper childcare in place, than try to work and care for a baby together. It could ruin your reputation forever if you try to juggle both, even for a short period.

Thanks everyone. I think I will ask to extend. On paper it looks practical working with a 6 month old but think I just needed other people to remind me it's not going to be as easy as I thought lol.

I might look into the half day options if it can't be extended for any reasons, dh works shifts so that could be another option