Toddler starting nursery when new baby is due

[Pikamoo]

How much of a gap should I leave between a new baby being born and my toddler starting nursery?

The nursery I'm thinking of sending DD to has just re-opened after being shut for ages because of covid. She could start begining of November but I'd probably want to pull her out begining of December to try and avoid covid in the run up to my end of December due date (cases here - not UK - are seeming to come from childcare quite often plus if I was covid positive when giving birth it would be a nightmare). It hardly seems worth it to have her there for a month and then off for a month so I was thinking of her starting when their term starts in January. But her little brother is due just before Christmas and I'd hate for her to feel pushed out. If you had a toddler start nursery soon after their sibling was born how long did you leave it? She'll be 2 in January.

I'd put her in November and keep there. That way she has a settled routine and doesn't link nursery to baby. It also gives you some time with the baby without running around after the toddler.
RE covid, I'd make sure you yourself and your partner get vaccinated and take sensible precautions but your benefit from the routine of her being in nursery outweighs the risk of her bringing covid home.

I appreciate concerns about covid. Definitely don't start in Nov and stop in Dec that's unsettling for toddler. I'd just start toddler at nursery in January and ride it out.

Will you be able to take toddler to settling in sessions at nursery leaving your newborn at home say with DP?

Toddler is likely to hate nursery anyway at first, they all do, and then after a few weeks the crying is only when you drop off. What hours will toddler be in daycare? Make sure when toddler comes home from nursery you are not busy with baby, give toddler loads of cuddles, story time etc and put baby in a sling if you can't put baby down in a cot, or be clever and if baby needs changing say "oh baby wanted you to help change nappy" and get 2 yo involved.

I think you can overstate the feeling of being pushed out - toddler has only just turned two, as long as you make time for toddler at home, expect toddler will adjust quite easily.

I agree with the others about doing 1 month and then stopping again, I think you need to either start in November and stick to it, or start in February

As you will presumably be at home anyway, so not need the nursery straightaway, have you thought about not starting your toddler there until after the Easter break? None of mine went to nursery, but I was a stay at home Mum anyway, so it didn't even cross my mind to send them, not that I could have afforded to if I had wanted to. My best and only real advice is, try to follow your instincts about what feels right for you x

Yes, I'm vaccinated and so is DH so I'm not worried about catching covid for the illness itself if that makes sense. Its just the consequences of me being covid positive would be so bad - it's not like the UK. Here if the mother is positive they take your baby away from you. Or at least they used to. I should check whether the rules have changed. They've only just started allowing birth partners at all though and are very "think of the children" paranoid.

I'm sure she will hate nursery. Because of covid she's had basically no interaction with other kids so she's really shy even though I can tell she wants to play. I'm hoping nursery will help her.

Thanks for all the replies.

Yes I'm at home with her so she doesn't need to go to nursery. I just think it would be good for her social skills. If it weren't for covid I probably wouldn't send her but covid has meant all the baby groups are shut, no softplay and no play dates so she doesn't really get to see anyone except me and DH. Tbh I feel like whatever I do will be wrong for some reason!

I'd want to send her 1-2 months either side of the birth to be honest. If you send her to nursery just as your baby is born she might see that as being sent away or replaced by the baby.
My DS started nursery 2 months before DD was born and it was an absolute godsend. It meant he had properly settled before she came along and was happy there, and gave me some very precious time with the baby every week to nap and I honestly don't know how I would have coped otherwise.
I agree with a PP, if you don't want her there over December then maybe wait a month or two after the baby arrives so she doesn't feel immediately pushed out.

They take the baby away from you?! That’s hideous, where are you?

If that's the case with Covid, and your due date is close to the potential start date in January, can you start her in February?
That gives her time with you and new baby and avoids the Covid possibility.

Yes, I think I'll leave it till February. Their term actually ends 26th November anyway!! Long Christmas break haha.

@Shirleyphallus

They take the baby away from you?! That’s hideous, where are you?

It is isn't it. I hope they've changed their policies now that it's clear newborns aren't badly affected (especially if their mother was vaccinated when pregnant). Their rules aren't very logical when it comes to kids though - all under 12s were banned from going in shops until very recently 🤨