for you and your husband.
I listen to my worries and evaluate them. I was taught the “worry tree” approach in therapy.
The way I think it through is
Is it a genuine or hypothetical worry?
If hypothetical - stop worrying about it.
If genuine - can I do anything about it?
If I can - do it, or make a plan/schedule to do it. And stop worrying about it.
If I can’t do anything about it - stop worrying about it.
Now when you start doing this, it does fall down on the “stop worrying about it” step, especially for genuine concerns that you can’t do anything about. But going through this evaluation process helps you appreciate that the worrying itself is not productive, only taking action where possible is productive, and that does make it easier to let worries go, with practice. It also spurs me to take positive actions where possible.
In the meantime when I’m stuck with a worry I can’t do anything about and can’t let go of, I’ll try and distract myself with a mindful activity - something that takes both my hands and concentration to do - like craft, jigsaw, yoga, art, DIY, playing piano, gardening. Or sometimes I’ll write - just take a pen and start writing down, what I am thinking, what is on my mind, what the worries are, what I am hearing/seeing/smelling/feeling at that particular moment in time - there’s a technique where you just sit and write 3 A4 pages of whatever comes to mind in the moment, just keep writing even if it is “I am sitting down and writing, I don’t know what to write, I am at the table and the dog is sitting next to me, the pen is green, I can hear the neighbours radio, DH is asleep upstairs” etc, just don’t stop until you’ve done 3 A4 pages, and it gives you the space to express your feelings and fears and that can help you manage them too.