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Original poster

Mood hoovers - tips for a successful family holiday please!

31 replies

MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 10:52

We need to plan a 1-week holiday with DH’s parents and our two teens for March next year. They are good, well-meaning people, but my God are they difficult to spend time with (no interests, moaning/negativity, constant bickering with each other, etc).

FIL can only walk 100 yards or so but won’t use a scooter or wheelchair, so days out are going to be very limited. We can probably get away with a few days out without them, but need to make some sort of an effort to spend time together because I don’t think I’ll persuade DH to do it again for another 7 years

I think they would travel short haul, or we could holiday in this country. We need to keep the total cost to less than £4,000 ideally (4 x adults, 2 x teens aged 13 and 14)

Our usual holidays would be villa in France/holiday cottage UK, skiing/snow holidays, city breaks, theme parks etc. They usually go away in their caravan but have enjoyed cruises and Mediterranean hotel holidays in the past.

Perhaps I’m being over-optimistic, but I think with proper planning we might be able to achieve something that is moderately enjoyable for all.

Any ideas? Anyone been in a similar situation and can recommend anything that worked well (or didn’t work!)?

OP posts:
Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 11:04

Actually it’ll be April not March (school holidays), I should have checked first!

OP posts:
EmmaStone · 05/10/2021 11:08

What about something like Centreparcs/Bluestone? Then the teens can go off and do activities, but the sites aren't so big that FIL couldn't come along and watch some stuff? They can stay in the lodge, or hang out at a coffee shop or something, but the rest of you can still keep busy? Then you can cook in the lodge in evenings, or eat out or get takeaway?

We do quite a few group holidays (albeit similar age groups rather than trans-generational, although have done a couple of those too), and we find what works is agreeing early on not to do everything together - we often all do our own thing in the day, but come together for dinner as a minimum. Sometimes people want to do the same things that day, so you can pal up.

It's about not getting frustrated because NOBODY is enjoying themselves, so splitting up for the daytimes tends to address this - if they want to hang out in the garden, or read their books, fine. If you want to go to the beach, fine. But trying to find compromises often means NO-ONE is getting what they want, so everyone is unhappy.

Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 11:24

I’d forgotten centerparcs, that’s a good shout, thank you. There is no way in hell I’d persuade DH to share a tiny lodge with them, but we could always get them a room in the hotel under the pretext of it being closer to the resort centre. We could still meet up for meals.

Off to check prices…

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ssd · 05/10/2021 11:25

Ribby Hall outside Blackpool.

Lots for teenagers to do and nice areas for the inlaws to sit. All flat so not too much walking. Nice day trip to st annes. Avoid Blackpool unless teens want the rides.

Seriously, Google it.

ssd · 05/10/2021 11:26

You guys can get a family lodge and the inlaws can stay in the hotel.

RampantIvy · 05/10/2021 11:29

Do you have to go away with them?
I can't imagine it would be very enjoyable for any of you.

ssd · 05/10/2021 11:32

It'll be fine if its properly managed and theres things for each age group to do. And space for everyone to chill. That's why i recommended ribby hall and the hotel.

Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 11:32

Wow, I’d never heard of Ribby Hall, but that looks great!

I have a suspicion that if I’m able to get MIL off the sofa and on her own she could be quite fun.

I managed to get her drunk once in 2009 and a new, fun, happy person emerged. I don’t usually drink, but I think an exception will be made on this holiday.

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Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 11:36

@RampantIvy

Do you have to go away with them? I can't imagine it would be very enjoyable for any of you.
Now you sound like DH Wink

We go away with my parents all the time and they are (understandably) hurt that it’s been 7 years since we’ve gone away with them. They ask us all the time when we’re going to take them away and we’ve run out of excuses. Plus, being a bit morbid, if one of them dropped dead suddenly I think DH would be full of regret that we didn’t do it.

Basically, other than the fact they’re miserable company, we have no decent excuse not to!

One week, then we can put it behind us for another 7 years… Grin

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RampantIvy · 05/10/2021 11:58

Basically, other than the fact they’re miserable company, we have no decent excuse not to!

That would be enough of an excuse not to for me TBH. Life is too short to spend precious holiday time with people who are going to make you miserable. What do the DC think?

Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 12:39

The DC will make the best of it. If we go somewhere like Centerparcs or Ribby Hall they will have the freedom to escape and do their own thing, so we’ll make sure they have a good time too.

We have some other nice holidays and weekends away planned, so it won’t be their only trip away.

Plus if DH and I become cantankerous in our later years, I hope they’ll be nice to us or maybe just shoot us and put us out of our misery Grin

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ssd · 05/10/2021 17:29

Life is too short, thats the bottom line. And there's more to think about than the ops feelings. Her in-laws might have a chat with her teens on holiday and tell them what life was like in their day. Or the teens might teach the oldies about tik tok, or something else they enjoy. And there will be fights and huffs and disagreements. And some joy and recognition of how difficult old age is. Or how difficult exams are now.

Life is too short to miss these moments. They don't come again. One day the in-laws will be gone and the teens will be grown up and they'll remember their holiday with a sad smile as they realise how short life actually is.

Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 18:38

Very nicely put ssd

We only need a handful of those moments and the whole thing will have been worthwhile.

I think if we chose our location wisely and make sure we’re not all on top of each other day-in day-out then we’ll all be ok.

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ssd · 05/10/2021 18:45

Absolutely

BlueCowWonders · 05/10/2021 19:39

Friends have taken their teens on Disney cruises. Worth looking into for all the generations?

Cruiser11 · 05/10/2021 19:42

Would you go on a cruise with them as they like them?

Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 20:06

We’d definitely be up for trying a cruise, but it looked like it would be out of our budget (6 people during the Easter holidays).

That said, I have absolutely no experience with cruises, so I might be missing some tricks when it comes to finding a good deal.

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Yesitsbess · 05/10/2021 20:20

Ribby Hall looks fab! @ssd that ticks some serious boxes for us for a family minibreak. Thanking you!

Also OP I think the Disney cruises were only in the UK for a bit. My friend went on 4 (she really likes Disney) and they cost an arm and a leg.

mayblossominapril · 05/10/2021 20:25

A hotel such as Crieff hydro?
If walking is an issue for trips out in between holidays would you all enjoy a steam train excursion with a meal on board?

Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 20:31

@mayblossominapril

A hotel such as Crieff hydro? If walking is an issue for trips out in between holidays would you all enjoy a steam train excursion with a meal on board?
Another amazing place that I never knew existed. Thank you!

would you all enjoy a steam train excursion with a meal on board?

I would definitely enjoy that don’t care about everyone else Steam trains and scenic views for us oldies and the lure of food should get the teens on board.

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Wallywobbles · 05/10/2021 20:35

Club Med ? My teens go with their grandparents. See each for breakfast and supper but off doing activities the rest of the time

Sexnotgender · 05/10/2021 20:42

Crieff Hydro is lovely, I’ve stayed there several times. A short walk to a nearby distillery for a whisky tasting and tour to dull the tedium.

Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 20:51

Club Med looks good, another one I’d never heard of! However it’s coming out at around £5,000 for a week in one of their Mediterranean resorts so sadly out of our budget.

DH is liking the idea of just sending the teens off with his parents. (He’s only joking, I think…)

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ssd · 05/10/2021 22:17

We went to ribby hall when the dcs were teens. It was great for them, a 9 hole golf course with a resident family of ducks and ducklings...squash, a gym, tennis courts, family swimming pool, horse riding and stables. Fishing in a lovely pond...night time entertainment. Pizza restaurant, Starbucks, lots of outdoor swings etc for the little ones...an adult only swimming pool, which i loved..then theres the lovely spa hotel with great treatments and peace and quiet...all on a flat area, great for bikes and scooters...
Then theres blackpool rides for the teenagers, and st annes for the nice beaches and great golf courses...

Its a great holiday for most ages

Original poster
MakingTheBestOfIt · 05/10/2021 22:56

It’s in the lead at the moment ssd

I’ve sent a link to MIL. I don’t think we’ll get away with putting them in the hotel for the whole stay as the lodges are quite large and they’ll want to avoid being alone together because they hate each other stay with us, but I have dropped the idea that we’d like to treat them to some time in the spa hotel, so maybe one night in there mid-break will give us a chance to catch our breath.

I’m envisioning FIL teaching the teens to fish. It’s actually quite hard to get him to engage with them, but he used to love fishing so I think it’ll bridge the awkwardness. I’m convinced I can tease out the fun side of MIL if I can get her out of FIL’s depressing orbit for long enough!

OP posts: