My DD just turned 4. She is very social and outgoing and over the last 6 months or so she's made a number of friends, 2 of them we are meeting weekly for play dates, one girl and one boy.
The girl is exactly the same age as DD, very bright and articulate, but very strong headed and a bit unkind. Overall my DD has enjoyed playing with her, but every time they meet the girl is making my DD cry. She shouts at her and bullies her into doing what she wants. My DD used to tell her to stop shouting or being mean, but now she is becoming a bit more submissive and just goes along with whatever the girl wants. I can tell she is nervois around her. It breaks my heart and I feel like they should not be meeting again. DD still wants to see her, but I don't feel she is benefitting from this friendship.
She loves the other friend who is a boy. They've had amazing times but also some terrible ones too. It's a bit of a hit and miss. When we meet he has this funny hour when his behaviour is very unkind. He runs away from us, and his mum and DD always run after him, every 5 mins of so. He hits his mum, and occasionally DD, can say mean things, throw objects at us etc. I really feel for his mum with whom I have a lot in common, but again my DD has to wait for him to calm down and go through a lot of anxiety and is asking why he doesn't want to play. She's very tolerant and has to put up with a lot before they end up having a good time and I feel again she is not benefitting from this friendship. It's always always on his terms, whatever he wants to do or wherever he wants to go, we usually go along.
The other friends are nice and on more equal terms but we are meeting them rarely due to different schedules.
AIBU for not wanting to meet her regular friends anymore or perhaps meeting them less regularly? I feel like she is becoming more introverted and less assertive and I don't want her to grow up thinking that she has to put up with any kind of behaviour for the sake of having friends.