Offered new job - mum guilt. What do I do?

[Brickingit108]

I wasn't expecting the offer to come at all to be honest. Got the phone call this morning and thought it was the courtesy rejection call but NO!
I can't really believe it. But now it's decision time. Its much more money but involves more office-based time (compared to fully remote), in-house a couple of days a week.

I have two young DC and always ALWAYS feel like I'm doing them a disservice if I press ahead with my own goals like this, as they may not get as much time with me for a couple of days each working week if I have to commute.

But its much more money, would make a big difference and I would likely only ever go up from there. Oh God. Help!!! Why does the guilt hit so hard?!

Bump

Take the job. Two or three days a week in the office is still four or five days with no commute. You are an actual person with value and potential, not just a mother.

Do it!!!

You're not doing them a disservice, you're providing for them. I work full time in a high pressured role and my DD4 is fine, happy as Larry. Financial independence is so important as a mother, opportunity knocks, it doesn't bang the door down .

JFDI (just fucking do it)

Go for it. The extra money will help to create memories and experiences with the children and unfortunately I think mum guilt is just one of those things.

Take the job! Especially if it's only two days a week in the office - honestly, that's nothing.

Why the guilt? You're providing for your children by working. Congratulations on the job. You'd be crazy to pass it up.

Take the job. Would a man hesitate because he was a father?

Oh god I am just so nervous, I did not expect this! I stayed home for a bit during the pandemic and thought my chances of getting something like this were zero to be honest. I just can't believe it and probably the disbelief is making me question everything!

Definitely take it and don't feel guilty.
Think of how the money will benefit you all!

Well done OP. Go for it. If you progress now you can perhaps drop your hours or days later on as your kids get older.

Congratulations! Absolutely take the job. This is how men end up with decent pensions and interesting careers AND have children while do many women don't.

Do it.

Positive affirmations

I can do this

You Can!

Absolutely take it. Do something for you, you matter too.

Do it. Take the job. And make sure your DH steps up and do half of everything at home.

Congratulations!

Take the job.

You’re good enough, you will still have the majority of the week working at home, you’ll gain greater balance and equality in your relationship - assuming your DP is supportive.

It basically your duty to resist ‘Mum guilt’. Is there a term for male parents that represents this? Is there buggery. ‘Dad guilt’ is Not A Thing. For good reason. Either share the working parent guilt out to your DC’s father or resist it entirely- but don’t let it stop you saying yes to a great job.

There is never, ever a good, guilt free time to step up as a parent - pitch ahead if it's feasible, and look at what boring domestic stuff you can outsource.

@Clymene absolutely- I fully believe this.

@Windows01 that's it - the possibilities we will have for making memories and having adventures together, I am already thinking of so many things we could do!

How young is young & who would look after them? Who looks after them while you are WFH?

Does the actual job excite you?

More money is good, it gives you more opportunities! Plus it 'can' free up time (allows you to do things like employ a cleaner do the time you have with them isn't just you trying to cook/clean/do laundry etc).

Presume your DH works FT? Does he get Dad guilt? Of course he bloody doesn’t!

It sounds like you really want this and it’s very possible to be a wonderful, present parent while working FT. Of course you’re also an excellent role model and it will put you in an excellent position for the future.

Well done!

You are not doing them a disservice. You are providing them with a role model and an amazing lifestyle. You are not abandoning them. Go for it

Well done, OP! Take the job. Sounds like a fantastic opportunity and you are not doing your children a disservice.

Thank you so much everyone, what a supportive thread of messages to read, I feel so uplifted! I am over the moon, just poured a glass of wine for myself, of a Monday!!

Congratulations OP, amazing news :) a million percent take the job, and enjoy it.

Congratulations!! Go for it! Well done!

More money also means better childcare if needed, cleaner, more opportunities for the kids. Don’t feel guilty, no men would!

100% take the job.