Am I over reacting?

[Miss2820]

Hi ladies

I have a 5yr old and a 8month..since him being born hubby has been very lazy Duno if that’s even the right word!! I literally do everything..school pick up drop offs..cooking..cleaning..ironing,.homework..take kids out etc etc all my husband seems to do is make time for drinking having a good time going out with his mates.. or sitting up drinking a whole bottle of wine to himself.. can sometimes drink two three days on the trot and think it’s okay??
I never get any help to be honest with kids it’s always me who does it all.. he never suggests anything to do with kids it’s always me.. I take kids to see mil every Saturday so leaves a Sunday so my daughter can catch up on school work etc I end up doing homework while trying to look after my baby.. while he sits on his phone texting his mate or playing games…
When I have said anything all I get is oh my job is so stressful u don’t understand.. n then it always turns into a big argument that I accuse him of basically doing sod all but I’m failing to see what he does to help me ? They are his kids afterall not only mine surely he must want to be at home with them or be at home knowing they are in bed but he would rather sit in a pub and drink…?? I’m just slowly flaking away at it all.. I sleep maybe 3.4 hours a day as baby wakes up for feeds in night and then I’m up with my daughter getting her ready for school etc I just don’t understand why you would want to drink like that?? Surely he must feel sick or something from it??

Well for starters he can take the dc to see HIS dm!!
Men like him made me enraged!
Stop doing stuff for him op. No washing /ironing.. Lessen your load... Hand him the baby and get yourself out for a few hours...

I don’t do his ironing just kids and as u can imagine that piles up all week etc in the past when he has had little one n I’ve gone out I’ve had so many calls and messages about how long I’m gnna be etc I can’t go out and like just have few hours free without having messages and calls etc but he has this time to go out b enjoy himself drinking.,like tonight he’s been gone since 7 little one has school tomoorw but he’s to busy drinking at the pub..I’m not saying oh u can’t drink but to a limit not where ur own child says to me oh where has dad gone has he gone drinking with his friend wine etc how’s that even normal ? We had a chat maybe two weeks ago about how I do everything and all I got was yeah I no I will do more to help and it’s like one two days he’s helping n then back to normal with his antics

The man's a prick, why are you even asking?

Of course this isn't acceptable.

Christ, the level of trolling on this site has gone downhill recently.

I didn’t know if I was over reacting or it was me who is being iffy or something

A family means equal effort by the two of you. What a massive out of balance entitlement he has!

Washing - man and woman's job. Childcare - man and woman's job. Finances - man and woman's job.
Life admin - man and woman's job.
Hoovering - man and woman's job.

He works during the week? Whilst he's at work, your job (if you don't work). When he's at home, both your job. It's as simple as that OP. Why should he get a weekend off but you don't? An evening off but you don't?

When he gets home, hand him the children and go to the pub. Why not? Treat him the way he treats you.

It won't fix anything but if he kicks off about it you can tell him why.

I don't think he will change OP men like this never do. Don't allow it.

You're already a single parent. Making it official will mean that you get a break when he has the kids and he'll be forced to occasionally parent them.

Your right he won’t change this isn’t anything new with him.. he does this where he will drink for a good few days and then basically do this whole oh I’m sorry I won’t drink like that again it’s disgusting ur doing everything.. it happened few weeks back where I was so fed up of doing everything and while I was ironing he decided he was gnna go out didn’t even once help or even put kids to bed while I carried on doing the ironing..
when he’s working from home I never ask him to get up n help most I will ask is hold little while I go to the bathroom or if I’m just quickly putting something away or just starting the washing machine.. we sleep in separate beds because he’s worried about his sleep being effected because little one wakes up for milk..
How can anyone think that this is normal or even him? Like u work n then come evening you don’t wanna do no homework.. cooking don’t even help with putting Daughter to bed as she has school.. there’s been times where he’s gone out and both are awake n I’m trying to put both to bed.. I live off 3/4 hours sleep most days.. never ever get told oh u no what is there anything u wanna do? I can have little one while u go.. or shall we do something with the kids on weekend.. I’ve literally got to a point where like what is he waiting for something to happen to his health coz he’s drinking like an animal?? He thinks how he drinks it’s fine and it’s normal to sit there and drink a whole bottle of wine on your own… I never ask him for money nothing like that i pay for both of the kids clothes nappies food etc etc milk 🥛 he has brought the odd milk here and there when I’ve asked him too.. I really feel like I’m going mad