I’m really embarrassed to ask but..

[MyMabel]

How do libraries work? (Feel free to cringe as much as I did at that question)

I haven’t been to a library since I was a really small child, probably 5/6 years old. I now have a toddler DD and our local library have just had a renovated child area that looks so lovely I really want to take DD, she adores books.

I suffer from quite severe anxiety and social phobia, I’m constant terrified I’m going to make a tit of myself. - I don’t want this to hinder DD’s enjoyment, so I want to take her but I’m unsure of library etiquette and because of my anxiety I need to be ‘prepared’ and know what I’m doing and what to ask for.

• Can we just go into the library, sit in the child area and read books - or are there sessions/need payment ect?

• do library cards still exist.. or is it something like an online account now? I’d love to take out books for DD to bring home so we can read different books before bed (we’ve tired out all of her books and I can remember each story off by heart now.. we need new material!)

• is there a limit on how many books we can take out at a time, and for how long?

• how much roughly does it cost to take out books/get a card/membership?

Sorry to ask such stupid questions that I could easily just ask the people who work on the library, I’ll just be too embarrassed to ask when we get there 🙈

Membership should be totally free! I have a virtual card for mine, but they might all be different so I'd Google your local library and see if they have a website that answers your questions? There might be info on there (or a social media page?) that mentions groups/sessions etc.

Totally understand!
You can go in and just sit and look at books together. All day if you want!
If you want to join go to the desk and they will sort you out with cards etc. It's very simple. Doesn't cost anything. They will tell you how any books you can have out etc.

Absolutely understand how you feel OP

My library is nearly all computer automated. You scan your own books everytime. The only time you have to see a person is to get your initial card but Im pretty sure you can do that online too now.
You just go in and spend as long as you want reading/ Browsing then check out your own books when you are ready.
I expect your library will have online instructions and advice.

In ours you can just walk in sit and read whenever whatever time they do baby rymes classes that arnt paid for just turn up and whilst those are on some people will be reading with their child all very relaxed nice atmosphere if a baby screamed or sang or child eating lunch in there that sort of thing, really feel for u with anxiety is the worst thing but please remeber that everyone is thinking about them selfes so try not to worry I will certainly miss the days of library's with my kids

It should be free! I opened an account for my little one recently and it took minutes. It might take a bit longer if you don’t have an account yourself but nothing arduous.
I can take out up to 15 books I believe and keep them for 3 weeks. They can be renewed in the library or online if i want then for longer but as dc is a toddler we go for quantity over quality and try to swap them every week.
Pre COVID my local library ran free sessions with stories or nursery rhymes but these haven’t restarted yet. It’s worth checking on Facebook as that’s where my local library post stuff.

You can go and read in the library with your dc and may we’ll find they have activities or challenges going on. Mine runs several a year and there are usually stickers involved which dc loves!

Good luck OP. Libraries are wonderful and need support so that they don’t lose their funding and close down

I know what you mean, about not wanting to look like a plonker not knowing something you think everyone will know.
As has been said it'll be free to join and just go in and ask, they will sort you out. I don't know what the limit is on number of books or loan length so its not silly to have to ask that.
You won't have to join to go in and read though. Can spend as long as you want for completely free! Lovely places that they are!!
The children's areas are much more relaxed and chilled than in my childhood too, although you might not be as old as me!

Hope that makes sense im typing quick

Hi OP,

It’s not a stupid thing to ask at all. If you don’t know something ask! You are doing a great thing wanting to go to the library for your DC.
I have big anxiety problems too which have magnified since having my baby 6 months ago.
I am in a similar situation trying to pluck up the courage to go to a baby group. I’ve just made the first step by taking my DD to our local library on my own.
You can absolutely just go into the library and read books. No payment or booking needed at my local one.
I’m not sure about the library card, mine had expired so I just asked at the desk.
I think there is a limit. I took 2 out and the return date was about 3 weeks time. You can usually extend the loan date if you need to.
It’s free to be a member.

Once you start going your confidence will increase each time. I felt quite jubilant when I went with my DD last week! I know to most people it might be a tiny thing but to someone with anxiety it is a huge milestone.
Best of luck OP, you can do it, just one small step at a time.
If you need any support or have any more questions please feel free to message me if you want to.

You can go in without joining and sit and read books but it's easy to join and then you can take books home with you. Take in proof of your address and something with a signature and you can join your little one at the same time. They will explain to you about how many books and how long for but should give you an information pack. Libraries (in England) are run by the local council and you don't have to pay for anything unless your books go late or you want to reserve an item. They might ask you to sign up for children's events if they get busy but they will be free. You should be made very welcome as it's important to libraries that they have good visitor figures and book issues but most of the staff should be really helpful and friendly as it goes with the job. Hope you both enjoy it (I worked in Libraries for 30 years).

The library will tell you how many books you can take out and will stamp your books with a return date. Books are free to take out.

Your library might have sessions - storyline or nursery rhymes for kids. Look out for posters or ask at the desk.

To apply for your library card you might need proof of address. There won't be a fee to join. The only costs are usually things like printing, photocopying etc. Computer time is usually free too.

Can we just go into the library, sit in the child area and read books - or are there sessions/need payment ect? Yes, you can just walk in and read as much as you like. Staff tend to be delighted to see children in there in my experience and will usually say hello.

-Do library cards still exist.. or is it something like an online account now? Both. We have physical cards which we use on the self-serve machines but also have online accounts where you can renew remotely, reserve etc if you want to

Is there a limit on how many books we can take out at a time, and for how long? Yes, but as long as nobody has requested something you have out you can keep renewing it. I think our county libraries have a 3 week term. I regularly get automatic emails saying we are overdue . Only adult accounts incur fines for late returns.

How much roughly does it cost to take out books/get a card/membership? Nothing!

It's definitely not a stupid question.
I often find I am clueless about something that everyone seems to think is routine/simple

Whenever I've joined a library, the librarian or assistant has always been friendly and enthusiastic and really happy to explain how the service works. They'll let you know if they have special Covid rules.

It'll be fine, I'm sure, and it's brilliant to get kids exposed to a library at a young age.

At my library you need proof of address to open a card (e.g. council tax bill) but they'll do it for you there and then in minutes. For my children's cards, they just used the same proof. Adults can take out some silly number of books (20 maybe) but for children it's less. The staff will be happy to tell you how many you can take out. We don't get fines for overdue books taken out on a children's card. My 3 year old loves the library, it's a great cheap activity. The staff are all very approachable and no one would bat an eyelid if you sat for an hour there reading books.

Libraries may differ but I can take out 10 books at a time for 3 weeks at a time.
There is no charge to take out books and my library doesn’t charge a fee for overdue children’s books. And I can renew online instead of physically bringing them back in.
You can sit and read books in the library for hours if you want.

I echo other posters who say that the library staff will likely be delighted to see you.

You might find that they have loads of groups or activities. Or simply a nice quiet corner to look at books with tour DC.

And libraries aren't generally precious about noise now. They'd rather hear people enjoying reading. So don't worry if your DD squeals or chatters or cries.

One tip - get a library card for your DD as well as yourself. Borrow books in her card rather than your own. This is because the fines for Late returns are cheaper for children (voice of experience).

Your daughter can get her own card too. My 2yo has his own card

My tip is to take two forms of ID because sometimes they ask for two, just in case!

Libraries vary on the service they offer, just go in and ask.

Sorry not sure if it’s been mentioned but my current library isn’t doing all of the above due to covid.

I completely understand the social anxiety but I think the best thing to do is ask. You could even ring up before you go.
They will be delighted that you are wanting to use it as they’re always encouraging people to do so else they’ll get closed down.

I work in a library OP.
You are most welcome to visit the library and read books with your child even if you aren't a member. Most libraries have a separate colourful children's section.

If you want to become a member, just go to the customer service desk and show a proof of ID and the staff will sign you up. (We are all friendly and like it when new members join. )
Your child can get their own individual card and it can be linked with your card. You can usually borrow up to 20 books for 3 weeks and can renew it online as well (as long as there are no reservations on it).

The staff is always there to help and can explain you everything about borrowing/reserving particular books, how to use the self service machine etc.
They can also help you if you are looking for any particular book/series/genres.
Lots of picture and board books for young children and junior fiction for older children. You'll find lots of variety in children's non-fiction too.

In the summer holidays, there are reading challenges for children and if they finish reading a certain number of books, they can get stickers, a certificate and a medal at the end of the challenge.

I once read that children are made readers on the laps of their parents.
So good luck OP... hope you and your daughter both enjoy the benefits of reading and your local library.

All of the above, but also, our local library is operating on greatly reduced hours due to budget cuts, with no library staff except a security guard on a lot of the open times. Look on the council website and they should have opening times and staffed times listed for each library in your area.

Go on their website and see how they operate. My local council has closed quite a large number of libraries so many are now independent charities and all operate differently.

Once you are a member you can also ask for books from other libraries, there can be a charge for this but it isn't much.

If you have an ereader you may also be able to borrow electronic books.

There will probably be information on your council's website.

I want to say don't worry at all but I know when you have anxiety that doesn't make you feel better. But seriously, don't worry!! I was the same, hadn't been in quite a few years and then wanted to go with my DS. We just went up to the children's floor and we had a little look around, he was a bit smaller then so wanted to mess about 🙄 but now if I took him I think he would enjoy it more. Every area is different of course, so it would depend what your local libraries rules are, but I thought for borrowing books you would still need a card.