Prepping for the week ahead is nonsense!

[Ryderweneedyou]

I mean it’s a good idea, and I’ll continue to do it, but it’s such a bloody waste of weekend.

DH and I both work FT, with 2 primary aged DC and evening after work are just for treading water - cooking dinner, homework, clubs, tidying. That means to keep things running smoothly I have to dedicate my Sunday to prep - set out clothes/ club uniforms/ equipment for the week ahead, meal plan and prep, getting through all the laundry, sorting a cupboard a weekend, bits of diy, etc etc. Saturdays are usually spent socialising (kids and DH extroverts, I’m in introvert) and I’m so bloody tired by Monday!!
Anyone care to join me in moaning or solve all my problems with a genius solution?

Do your kids really need as many activities through the week as you're doing now? Do they get enough time to be bored and hang out in their room to do their thing?

A lot of what you're doing sounds optional - if you sometimes need to skip a weekend to make time for mum, just do it!

Agree with a massive de clutter then it’s much easier for your DC to tidy themselves as they go. If you can afford a cleaner to come week then great. And cook more easy dishes and get the kids involved with that too. Even very young children can get involved some way with cooking or tidying to help you and your DH out.

anyone else thought from the title that this is about the meagre supermarket shelves?

Also 2 lazy dinners a week.
Just two?!

Decluttering is definitely key. It’s just finding the time to do it. And not having an Amazon-Prime-addicted DP who accumulates stuff constantly

@NatashaRf

I feel you.

We were out at a family event all day yesterday. Which was lovely - but now that means today really won't feel like a day off.

Kids are grumpy as normally we make sure homework is done on a Saturday so they're seeing why I usually insist that as now they're moaning about it taking up their only day off.

So DH and I have grumpy DC to help. And also need to get the uniforms clean for the week. Food shop. Clean the (absolute tip) of a house. Change the beds (normally a Saturday job and the weather means that's an extra ballache)

I also need to cook and feed us all some real food as yesterday was a sea of beige party buffet and desserts/sweets.

Also we have "Stone Age day" this week for eldest so I need to sort some kind of costume for that.

DDog didn't get much of a walk yesterday so that too which we'll all enjoy when we do it but it's something else to schedule in.

It's feeling not very much like a Sunday at all.

I really identify with your post - I feel like sometimes when working in the week, with young kids (and I’m quite introverted as well) even the ‘fun’ bits like lovely family events are actually hard work because of the knock on effect on the next day, so you can never really unwind. Sunday solidarity to you

I haven’t been avoiding the question about DH, but just thinking about how to phrase it.

The bottom line is he should do more. Unfortunately, because I do all the pick ups for the kids (DH would happily pay for after school club but we did that before lockdown, the kids hated it, missed their sports and I missed them) if I’m not organised on Sunday, I’m the one who struggles through the week. He also just isn’t a planner or prepper - if something needs to be done right NOW , he’s great for jumping in and getting it done but planning ahead is not his bag at all. Anyway, I don’t want to get into relationship talk just a semi-lighthearted rant about somewhat self inflicted Sunday prepping

I tend to just do easy stuff during weekdays TBH. Just some frozen fish/chips , a lasagne made in slow cooker and a spag bol the same ,just add pasta. The trouble with prepping over the WE is it takes up so much free bloody time! Also sometimes get a F and C sort of thing as well

If he’s great at jumping in and doing stuff, he can do the cleaning on Sunday can’t he? While you prep the other stuff in advance.

My DSes have a uniform drawer each. It gets washed gradually during the week and always goes back there. I make sure there's 5 pairs of pants and socks in there then its easy to get stuff out the night before.

Cleaning and tidying tends to be everyone pitching in every Saturday morning. I'm a long way along my minimalism journey which has really helped for tidying.

Both DH and I have non negotiable sport slots planned on Saturday and Sunday mornings. We work shopping and social engagements around those as if there were fixed classes.

After lunch is rest time. Dc play and we read/snooze.

Weekends can get busy with chores but by integrating sport and rest, I feel like the weekend is a nice break from work

Get your children to help. Makes life so much easier. My children were getting themselves dressed and made their own breakfast in the mornings with no help from me.

Tidying up, same thing - if they made a mess, they tidied it.

I also got them involved in chores from a very young age, including sorting washing by colour and now the older one bathes the younger one in the evenings and both help me cook (cut soft food, stir the pan, eldest learned how to make porridge this morning).

As a single mum, I had no choice, but it also made life much less stressful to involve them.

@InvincibleInvisibility

My DSes have a uniform drawer each. It gets washed gradually during the week and always goes back there. I make sure there's 5 pairs of pants and socks in there then its easy to get stuff out the night before.

Cleaning and tidying tends to be everyone pitching in every Saturday morning. I'm a long way along my minimalism journey which has really helped for tidying.

Both DH and I have non negotiable sport slots planned on Saturday and Sunday mornings. We work shopping and social engagements around those as if there were fixed classes.

After lunch is rest time. Dc play and we read/snooze.

Weekends can get busy with chores but by integrating sport and rest, I feel like the weekend is a nice break from work

This sounds like such a nice, balanced weekend - we do pizza for dinner and bake off (or whatever family show we’re watching) on Sunday nights. I think the kids are definitely old enough for a Sunday morning family clean up.

Thank you for all the lovely, supportive posts - it’s nice to hear from others in the same boat and it’s nice to hear from those who’ve cracked it. Meal prep, tidying and laundry done for today with a history audiobook in one ear, it made the whole thing feel almost relaxing

Deal with it

I'm not f/t & we don't have commutes so that makes it easier but the drudgery!
On Fridays evenings I wash all uniform, 5 sets each. I hang all the tops on their hangers to dry (outside or inside) & then just put them straight away.
Meal planning we struggle so no tips, although 2 evenings will be easy food eg fish fingers or pizza.
We have a cleaner on Fridays so are a bit slack on cleaning ourselves, use lots of wipes.
Mine do 3 clubs each after school eg sewing, coding etc so weekends are more free but Saturday's are still taken up by kids sports/socialising.
No ironing, dc are in primary, I don't need & DHs shirts if he goes in are taken to the dry cleaners for ironing.
Rely on chop chop, getir, prime too much!

We split the weekend into 4 quarters if that makes sense. So Saturday morning, then Saturday afternoon, sun morning then sun afternoon. One of those sessions will be homework for the children and one will be getting ready for the week eg putting all clean uniform away, packing bags / swim kit etc making sure coats and shoes are ready etc. Uniform is washed and tumble dried over the weekend and all put away in the getting ready for the week session. Uniform I do boys jumpers and trousers as one wash, girls jumpers and trousers as another wash, the everyone's white shirts all together.

It tends to be sat morning is homework. Normally my husband supervisors while I potter around, I may get piles of laundry together, or just generally house jobs.

Generally Saturday afternoon is our day out time so we tend to do either a walk in the woods etc

Then on Sunday we sometimes go out in the morning or we may use the time do have a lazy morning eg I may go to the gym. Sometimes we go family swimming Sunday morning. Or to church if it's a family service.

Sunday afternoon is putting clothes away but if we know we have something planned for a Sunday afternoon we will have to dedicate a different session to that

Probably sounds a bit strict but it works for us!

I've just had a bit of a meltdown about this. Yesterday was drama, swimming and then driving DDs round to respective friends/village browsing and then huge weekky shop. Today was gymnastics and netball. Home at 1.30pm so I think, great got the afternoon to get sorted. DH announces we're all going to go to a gym on free passes - more bloody swimming (the laundry from swimming is staggering). I've just thrown my dummy out and said I'm staying home as I have all the laundry for the week to put away, uniforms to iron and bedrooms to clean. He's just made me feel guilty for not going with them for family time!! When exactly does he think all the jobs will get done?!!
Right need to get on now I've vented.

Instead of asking if something brings you joy, ask if you can be arsed to keep it clean.

Brilliant! You could write a book (alternative one).

@JMAngel1

I've just had a bit of a meltdown about this. Yesterday was drama, swimming and then driving DDs round to respective friends/village browsing and then huge weekky shop. Today was gymnastics and netball. Home at 1.30pm so I think, great got the afternoon to get sorted. DH announces we're all going to go to a gym on free passes - more bloody swimming (the laundry from swimming is staggering). I've just thrown my dummy out and said I'm staying home as I have all the laundry for the week to put away, uniforms to iron and bedrooms to clean. He's just made me feel guilty for not going with them for family time!! When exactly does he think all the jobs will get done?!! Right need to get on now I've vented.

Yes to the swimming laundry! 6 of us here So 6 towels 😱 my MIL says she just used to dry them and pack them again I.e no washing but that freaks me out!

The solution is to not martyr yourself and have your DH do his bit.

@Hummmph

Get your children to help. Makes life so much easier. My children were getting themselves dressed and made their own breakfast in the mornings with no help from me.

Tidying up, same thing - if they made a mess, they tidied it.

I also got them involved in chores from a very young age, including sorting washing by colour and now the older one bathes the younger one in the evenings and both help me cook (cut soft food, stir the pan, eldest learned how to make porridge this morning).

As a single mum, I had no choice, but it also made life much less stressful to involve them.

This.

Also, help the kids to develop check lists of things needed for each activity. Laminate the lists if you can, then the kids can tick off the list themselves and show you when it is done.

@JMAngel1 why can't the rest of the household out laundry away etc?

As an introvert, I agree with the suggestion by a previous poster to et DH take the children out on a Saturday and you have time at home to recover from the week. You can get some tasks done in peace, and get some time alone to recharge. You can have family time at home on a Sunday which should be less draining for you.

Run a load in the washing machine every night while you're in bed. This avoids a massive laundry at the weekend.

Train the DC to set out their school uniform on Sundays. Ready for Monday.

Train DH to pack the school bags on Sunday.

Weekly meal plans can be a rolling menu, every 4 or 6 weeks you start back on week I's meal plan.

Tesco do a free book with recipes for five family meals, plus full shopping list.

I would suggest trying to squeeze in things like laundry during the week, loading the washing machine is quick, then a few hours later into the dryer, then get the rest of the family to sort and put away. Club uniforms etc don't bother putting away, straight from dryer to laid out, dp's need to pull their weight with a bit of ironing at least, delegate diy at least if he's no cook. As for meals, cheat - tins, frozen veg etc save you hours, do meals that need little prep too

I had a very strict weekday routine after work -

Walk in. Shoes off, coats hung up, schoolbags emptied and checked for letters/homework/lunchboxes into sink. Cats fed. 10yr old to take command of unloading the dishwasher from the previous night and reloading it with anything from breakfast plus putting in the tablet, 4yr old in charge of getting a washload together, checking pockets (whoever sorted the clothes kept any money they found I usually deliberately left 20-50p in something as an incentive), loading and setting the machine as I dealt with the previous night's load. Marking up on a 'timesheet' stuck to the kitchen cupboard the things they'd done that contributed towards their 'wages'. Once that was done, they got to go and do their thing whilst I vacuumed - and sometimes there would be a shopping delivery which they'd emerge to help put away, as I'd always put a small treat of something (food, activity, toy, cat toy, etc) in the order.

Then I'd cook, always cleaning up as I went along, dishwasher loaded, TV, possibly some planning of the next week's shopping order, baths and bed, switching the washing machine and dishwasher on as they went.

I made a point of never sitting down straight away, as if I did, chances were that I'd fall asleep - but the moment I did sit down, it felt really good to know the general day to day stuff was taken care of.

If it was an activity night, the clothes from it would always go in the wash then, rather than leave it hanging around.

Saturday mornings were pretty easy because the weekday clothes had already been washed, so all that was left was to change/wash the bedlinen, eat breakfast and do nice things, Sunday morning was usually a short time getting veggies ready and the meat in a pan so they could go on quickly when needed later, but the majority of the weekend was fairly chilled - On Sunday nights, I'd blast through the minimal amount of ironing we had whilst sitting on the sofa, they'd polish shoes and get their bags ready and it would be back to knowing most things were sorted.

I mentally planned meals for the week to allow for 2-3 extra meals/alternatives so I never ran out of anything and would often order enough of something for the month or longer (cartons of juice, tins of beans/tomatoes, big bags of pasta and rice, for example) in one go so I didn't need to think about them again for a while.

It worked. There were just a few smallish tasks to do at the weekends, most things were up to date during the week and we didn't feel like a whole day had been stolen by boring stuff.