Sick of feeling like this. But can't ring the gp

[MoreThanAnOffDay]

I know it sounds ridiculous, but for a few months now I've felt my anxiety and depression creeping back.
A whole host of reasons. To the point we had a stress the other day and I was so stressed and anxious about the situation that I had pins and needles in my hands. I struggled to drive my heart was pounding so much.
I sit here like now saying right Monday ill ring gp. Reality is making telephone calls makes me so anxious. I have maybe 5 people ill talk on the phone with. That's it. Other people call and I reject it and then text Inc most of family and friends.
If the call to a GP was for my dcs I don't hesisiate.

I've previously been in various meds for anxiety and depression. From setraline to venlafaxine. But i know deep down this is what I need again. And i really didn't fucking want it again !!!!!
It don't help that this year I found one of my closest relatives passed away. I had to try and resuss and it was too late. They were one of the most special people to me. And it hurts still so much. I can't believe they're not here. I can't seem to grieve and thibk about them except early hours of the morning and I lay crying because it's so painful.

I don't know what to do. The stupid thing is if I could ring the reception and make an apt i could do that. But having a proper discussion on phone. I just can't. Which I know is bloody ridiculous. And the surgery don't allow any apts without gp talk 1st.

Does your gp do e-consult?

No unfortunately not.

I just wanted to say anxiety and depression are shit and you have my sympathy. It makes everything harder, doesn't it?

Finding, then having to try and resuscitate someone who you cared about and then dealing with their death is very traumatic. I wonder if you might be suffering some PTSD which makes it even harder to deal with normal grief...I've had something similar. It can amp up anxiety symptoms too. This explains it quite well:
www.ptsduk.org/

Do you think it might be possible if they don't do an e-consult to speak to the receptionist and say you find it hard to talk on the phone and is there another way to have contact with the GP? There must be provision for patients who can't do this (eg elderly, deaf etc).

The other thing that might work is if you arranged for the GP to call while you had someone you trusted there and put them on speaker phone. Then the person you trust says they're on the call to act as your advocate as you have difficulty on phone calls, but would be ok with a face to face appointment.

The other thing that might work is to ask reception for an email and explain you're unable to have a phone conversation but need to see the GP in person.

Please keep trying, you deserve the right help to feel better.

Thank you. I did think about writing a letter and putting it through to door.

Can't have no one here. No ones knows. No one knew before as I feel embarrassed. Dh sort of did when we got together and he mantioned the other day to maybe see gp as noticed I'm easily stressed. And I just put a defence and said yeah like I have time for that! Why do I do stupid things!

Check the nhs site to see if you can self refer to mental health services in your area

It’s shit, isn’t it?

Thank you. I'll look at the links.
I previously used steps to wellbeing about 7 years ago. It was group setting and I didn't find it much use. But may look at 1 to 1 private prices there's one very local.

Oh, you poor lass. Please try to talk to your husband so that he can understand you better. Your idea of writing a letter to your GP is a good one. Could you do that soon?

I would email them or put a note through the door, they will understand
My surgery can be utterly shit at times but when I couldn't do anything but stand at reception and silently cry, they dropped everything to help me and I saw a GP within 10 minutes
I was having intrusive thoughts, knew they weren't right and wasn't sure what to do and finding them really distressing

OP.

You can definitely write to your doctor - might make it easier for you to lay out how you're feeling written down, too? And explain that you aren't good with phone calls. Usually (based on mine and my mum's experiences in last 2 years), they'll then either let you know a time they'll phone you or ask you to come in to see the GP. You don't have to suffer in silence x

I'm like that with phones - I have to get DH to make the call for me & sometimes I'm able to have him hand me the phone after he's outlined the issue & I can cope with talking to them, other times I have to ask them to speak to him & he'll just sit there repeating what they're saying to me & my responses to them. He's marvellously patient with me! I feel ridiculous not being able to make phone calls like a "proper grown up" but I've found a work-around that enables me to get the care I need, that's more important than any embarrassment I feel.

Hope you can find a way to get yourself the support you need!

Look into getting to see a private GP. We have 2 near us, who do appointments, it costs £90, but they are definitely face to face, where you can make the appointment online.

Hugs.

Agree with all pp suggestions, just didn't want to read and run xxx