Can my husband speak to my gp on the phone at my appointment?

[Makinganewthinghappen]

This is going to sound pathetic but i have been incredibly depressed and anxious for months (i already take fluoxitene and have done for 5 years but its not working as well now).

I am terrible at talking to doctors i always underplay how im feeling and end up not getting any help at all because i seem like im fine - but im not!

I finally got up the courage to ask for an appointment with my gp but they are only doing phone appointments which is even worse because im worse on the phone than in real life.

Would it be acceptable to ask them to speak to my husband and just have him tell them how i have been the last few weeks - i totally trust him with medical info etc and he will just be able to say what i wont.

Is that ok or is it going to look really odd if i ask him to speak to my husband?

Not at all that’s fine. Just say you’ve given your husband permission to speak. Doc will probably check with you that what your husband has said is representative of what you wanted him to say etc but otherwise not an issue at all.

Well done for seeking help

The GP will want to speak with you as the patient. I understand this might be difficult for you,
preparing for the conversation will make it easier.

There is information here about what to expect www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/news/mind-can-help-you-find-the-words-to-speak-to-your-gp-about-mental-health/

& complete these forms on the day of, or the day before your appointment

patient.info/doctor/patient-health-questionnaire-phq-9

patient.info/doctor/generalised-anxiety-disorder-assessment-gad-7

Yes once you give permission then the Dr can speak with your husband.

Just put the doctor on speakerphone, explain you're both there and you're giving your DH permission to speak because he knows your symptoms and you struggle to talk cohesively about them. Shouldn't be an issue.

I think you will need to answer the phone initially, explain and then put on speaker and stay whilst they chat. I imagine the doctor may still try to talk 'to' you (which is best practice). It may not be so bad, but it's great your husband is so supportive. Good luck, I hope it's helpful.

I do this with my husband-he gives them permission to speak to me, and I take over. His hearing is bad (even with aids) and his memory is not good; so he'd forget to tell them things.

It’s fine, I’ve had to do this because I was really struggling to explain what was wrong and, like you, I’d revert to “actually I’m fine” as soon as I got near a Dr and it made such a difference for him to be there and say “no she’s not, this is what I see”. I just used to say on the call or at the appointment “do you mind if my husband speaks to you, I’m finding this difficult”

I really feel for you and your comment about it being pathetic has struck a chord with me, it’s not at all pathetic to need help with this but I completely understand your feelings. As someone who considers themselves to be an articulate independent woman it went against all my instincts to say “my husband will now speak on my behalf” and I resisted it (to my detriment) but actually it’s really difficult to be objective and clear when explaining your own health issues and it does help if someone who knows and loves you can help explain. You’d do the same for him.

Good luck