I don't know where to put this, and suspect some of this to be rambling.
My Dad died on 22nd July, so it's now 10 weeks since his death. He and my Mum contracted Covid, both were double jabbed. He was 72 and was never ill, never got a snuffle, the last time he was ill, it was flu and I was a small child.
We we're lucky that the family could be with him when life support was turned off, Me my Mum and brother were there.
I am still just as totally heartbroken as the day he died, I just feel lost.
His funeral was lovely, we had music that he would have wanted (rock) and it was a day of remembrance, not of mourning.
I feel like I'm trying to support my Mum and my son (Adult, 23 Autistic) and to be honest I'm just so bloody tired. My Mum is getting a lot of support from family and friends, but I just want to shout...what about me! He was my Mum's husband and her rock, but he was my Dad. And he was everything to me.
We are also trying to sort My Mum and Dad's house out. My Dad was a computer engineer and a hoarder. We have computer equipment going back decades! We also have specialist HIFI equipment that there is a lot of it and we have no idea how to value it, or what to do with it!
We have boxes and boxes of computer parts - what the hell do we do with it all? Some of the stuff is faulty and can be chucked, but some of it will have to checked and tested to see if faulty or not. Some of it is too old to be useful - but do we chuck it or see if it can be given to someone - but who?
We have tided stuff so we can see mainly what we have....so many bloody screws! memory chip sets, every type of cable you can think of, fans etc etc but what the hell do we do with it all?!
His Mum is in a care home, with Dementia. I haven't been to see her since he died, and I feel so guilty. I just can't face her without crying, I also can't face telling her many times, that my Dad is dead.
I saw my Dad several times a week, and now nothing, I just feel broken.