conversations with other mothers of rape survivors

[AnnaNewStories]

My daughter was raped 8 years ago in her first year of university. She is dealing with it in her own way and we talk about it. I'm having a hard time dealing with my feelings/fears/thoughts about this and especially triggered by recent cases in the news.
Are there other mothers out there who are willing to talk about how this as affected them? I don't know anyone who has gone through what we've experienced.

Hi AnnaNewStories
Just read your post. I'm in a similar predicament. If you still want someone to chat to, private message me. Xx

Hi my daughter was raped Friday, she’s just turnt 18
i rang the police in sheer panic and now she won’t speak to me
im just looking for some support, because I don’t know what to say to her x

I am so sorry you and your daughter are going through this - it’s the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. After the rape she went to get checked in a clinic for STIs and pregnancy. We never dealt with the police as my daughter only disclosed her assault to me 2 years later. At that point I got her to see rape counsellor which was helpful - they’re really amazing people who totally know how start the healing process. Everyone’s experience is different but for my daughter, the hardest thing was talking about it. I couldn’t make her talk and had to put my horror and rage to one side. So I just loved and loved her as much as I could. I may have gone over board but I couldn’t think of anything else.
I don’t know if that’s helpful but my heart goes out to you both.

It's a terrible thing to go through. Same has just happened to my daughter last week. It has been the worst week of my life. I've learned so much in that week. That it's normal for her not to want to talk to her mum about it, but as long as she speaks to someone. As her mum, you need support too. Call the Rape Crisis Centre. I found them so helpful, they explained what to expect from my daughter and from the police. I always felt calmer after speaking to them - had been hyperventilating. Your daughter just needs to know you're there for her when she needs you and that she is in control. I have no idea what to expect in the future, but opening up is a start. I've also been told that people get past this and get on with their lives. I hope it doesn't sound glib, but hearing that helped me.

Yes thank you
shes so angry because I rang the police, she said she would of done it in her own time
he was arrested Saturday and there classing it as a stranger rape!
I’m so worried about her , she’s in the middle of coursework and her A level exams, it’s definitely not hit her yet but I’ll be there for her 💯

I’m so sorry, we as a family have been through so much but this is by far the worst thing.
I just keep seeing her little face and thinking how could anyone hurt her.
she’s stayed at her boyfriends last couple of nights but I’m afraid how she will cope being home tomorrow in bed by herself, she’s downstairs so I can’t hear what she’s doing. I’m terrified of everything.
how is your daughter? Are you ok xx

Hi Gingermumm, our stories sound similar. My daughter came home after it happened and wouldn't really talk about it, then she went back through to her flat on her own. I was beyond worried. I think it takes time to process it all, for all of you. It was particularly acute in the first week, I could also not get it out of my head, nor could she; but then life takes over again and she was going out again, though tentatively and not on her own. I'm not saying it's done, it's clearly not. And I'm not sure what we have ahead, including the police business, I'm no expert on this. However, I'm trying to be strong for her and I think things will be ok again. I'm sure it will be for you too. Thinking of you both, you'll get through this X