My grandfather is dying. He’s fought cancer for the past 18 months and was taken to hospital approximately 3 weeks ago with a severe chest infection. He has deteriorated rapidly since then.
It was agreed he would come home to pass away, we have a hospital bed in place and he was keen to come home- unfortunately there was a delay as there weren’t any carers available so he had to stay a few days more. In that time, a positive COVID case was picked up on the ward and the limited visitation stopped.
Now there are carers available, but grandad is refusing to come home. He is agitated, sad, angry and adamant he is not leaving.
Today the doctor allowed mum to visit under special circumstances to try and convince him he has to come home. He’s not having it. He’s talking in a way we’ve never heard before and can barely speak, so we don’t want to distress him further, however, the doctor has said he cannot stay- he either has to come home, or he will be placed in a hospice approximately 70 miles from where we all live as it’s the only place available.
They won’t bring him home against his wishes as they say he could pose a threat to the carers if he gets aggressive once there.
What do we do? How do we convince our wonderful dad/grandad that he needs to come home so we can look after him in his final weeks/days? He isn’t acting in any way like I’ve known, so I’ve no doubt that he is nearing the end with his increased fear and agitation. He says he loves us all but he’s staying in hospital- which he can’t.
It’s so heartbreaking not being able to help him- does anybody have any experience of this or know how we might be able to get through to him, as the thought of him dying alone in a hospice so far away is too much to contemplate.