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Original poster

Abusive police officers - will more action be taken?

29 replies

mytortoiseisill · 29/09/2021 19:18

After going to the police 3 times over 10 years in relation to what I now realise was abusive controlling behaviour by a police officer neighbour I got nowhere.

Just one week after Sarah Everard’s murder I was contacted and asked if I would support an application for a restraining order.

It could be coincidence, but is it more likely that some sort of guidance was issued?

The scariest thing was that when the new officers investigated they found no records of my previous complaints :(. I live a nice safe middle-class life apart from having this horrible man in it. So it’s been an eye opener :(

Anyway, on a positive note -will there be a crackdown now?

OP posts:
LexMitior · 29/09/2021 19:20

Honestly? How did they know you made a complaint if all the records were deleted?

Its window dressing at best I would say.

Original poster
mytortoiseisill · 29/09/2021 19:29

Apologies - a fourth complaint Was investigated (prior to Sarah’s death)

OP posts:
isthisfishy · 29/09/2021 19:33

They close ranks and protect their own. Police now think they are no longer there to protect and serve and I think they subscribe more to the night is right school of thought, legalised thugs most of them

Original poster
mytortoiseisill · 29/09/2021 19:37

That is how it has felt to us fishy until the latest officer (a woman) got involved.
She has come close to restoring some semblance of faith in the police

OP posts:
MintJulia · 29/09/2021 19:39

No. They'll pay lip service for a month or two, pretend to show some concern, discuss a public enquiry but never initiate it, and then close ranks when they think the fuss has died down.

The sexism and the brutish jokes will continue. Shame on them, including (and especially) Cressida Dick.

Haggisfish3 · 29/09/2021 19:41

My friend is putting together a plan to identify and oust abusive officers so I hope more will be done, yes.

Haggisfish3 · 29/09/2021 19:41

And she’s big in the police, obviously, not just a random person!

Becca19962014 · 29/09/2021 19:51

It won't make a difference.

I've a family member who was abused for forty years. No one had any idea. He'd lock her away when in work, beat her where it couldn't be seen, and lie to his kids that she was unstable. That's just the things I can mention without being physically sick. She escaped, only to find she had nothing she needed to actually be recognised in the real world - no national insurance details, no birth certificate, no bank account and no ability to drive. She was mid sixties and refused a pension.

The police, after being told to report by another family member, hounded her to her death a couple of years ago. She was destitute because she couldn't work or claim a pension, horrific thing to see done to a person.

Every time she moved she was found, every time she was seen she'd get threatened by his colleagues. It was disgusting. She went to a group run by womens aid (I think it's now called the freedom programme) and found 90% of women had been in relationships with police officers.

Not to mention my own issues after reporting assault by someone popular in our community.

I'd never trust a police officer.

Yes, logically it isn't all of them, but this was an entire force that set against her due to his high rank.

He then moved on to school friend of mine who suddenly left her job and wasn't physically seen again. God knows what he's put her through. And knowing her I'd say him being a high ranking officer was what attracted her to him, it's very sad. When she found out who his ex was and that she was related to me she went for me when we met for the last time. She was a shell of who she was.

Original poster
mytortoiseisill · 29/09/2021 20:01

Fingers crossed!

“My friend is putting together a plan to identify and oust abusive officers so I hope more will be done, yes.

Today 19:41 Haggisfish3

And she’s big in the police, obviously, not just a random person!”

OP posts:
TaraR2020 · 29/09/2021 20:04

Found this FOI request from 2019

Nearly 30 pages of corruption investigations and overwhelmingly almost all of them were dismissed, withdrawn or found no case to answer Shock

www.met.police.uk/SysSiteAssets/foi-media/metropolitan-police/disclosure_2020/march_2020/information-rights-unit---alleged-police-corruption-from-january-2014-to-august-2019

Finfintytint · 29/09/2021 20:06

They do close ranks and protect their own. Not generally Police bashing but there is a cultural misogyny that rules. Good luck to any woman who challenges this….you are in for the long haul.

WishingYouAMerryChristmasToo · 29/09/2021 20:08

They carry their own bodies. Women are blamed for male behaviour. My ex used to work for the police. He hit me in front of our kids I called the police. One of kids had a bruise as did I - police officer said I can take your kids rights now (7 and 6 months) and the eldest can make a statement with our officers at the station - you can’t go with her or be in the room (it was midnight) and it’s his word against yours anyone so there isn’t any point.

They didn’t investigate him when he breached a restraining order they just said ‘the fact he was in Tesco same time as you is just bad luck’ I said I asked him to leave and referred to the restraining order and he just kept following me round Tesco - ahh say the police officer but he didn’t actually harm you did he??? I give up.

WishingYouAMerryChristmasToo · 29/09/2021 20:10

The police officer who killed SE had multiple indecent exposures etc against him none were investigated all were buried by the police and they laughed and called him the rapist ! Sick bastards and no I don’t trust them.

NigellaAwesome · 29/09/2021 21:31

@Haggisfish3

My friend is putting together a plan to identify and oust abusive officers so I hope more will be done, yes.
I hope your friend has more luck than me Haggis. I was working on the national policy for sexually predatory officers, and regularly delivered workshops on abuse of authority in the police. Like your friend, I was also senior.

I was hounded out of my career for reporting a sexually predatory officer in my team, who had behaved inappropriately with at least 3 women (that we knew of). My mental health will probably never be the same. Oh, they also promoted this individual.

Sadly, all the policies, cultural and behavioural training in the world won't make a single bit of difference if senior police officers continue to see it as something they only give lip service to.

isthisfishy · 29/09/2021 21:45

@NigellaAwesome I can believe it totally the one who had me convinced he was a good guy until he wasn't just made DCI. Hmm

arrangeyourface · 29/09/2021 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

arrangeyourface · 29/09/2021 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoncasterHombre · 29/09/2021 22:43

I'm a man and I'm absolutely horrified at what I've heard today. The talk radio stations today being full of the voices of "moral and righteous" serving and ex-police men (and women) claiming how rare and unusual this may be makes me sick to my stomach. I've previously dated a woman who's ex was a jealous prick police officer and experienced first hand the problems they can cause when their power goes to their heads. I've no trust in them; I don't see how any woman could after what's come out today. In a much, much worse and horrific way than my experience ever was.

This should be the end of lone police officers - male or female - being able to arrest/take custody of a citizen. The technology now exists to track and live-stream from a body-cam but that, to my mind, isn't enough.

My heart bleeds for Sarah and her family. I hope they can all find some peace and that that fucking monster burns in hell.

Original poster
mytortoiseisill · 30/09/2021 09:29

"I was hounded out of my career for reporting a sexually predatory officer in my team, who had behaved inappropriately with at least 3 women (that we knew of). My mental health will probably never be the same. Oh, they also promoted this individual."

Nigella I hope your mental health does improve. I really admire what you did. Can we help? It is possible, they say, to grow from trauma if you experience support and gratitude from those around you.

On a practical note - do you think "my" officer is at risk? She has recommended charging and is investigating a former colleague in the same force who very clearly still has friends around.
I actually worry about her.

OP posts:
zafferana · 30/09/2021 09:35

@isthisfishy

They close ranks and protect their own. Police now think they are no longer there to protect and serve and I think they subscribe more to the night is right school of thought, legalised thugs most of them
Completely agree with this. I'm also the kind of MC woman who has no cause to get in trouble with the police, but I had an awful experience where an unmarked car aggressively cut in front of me after a roundabout. I blasted him with my horn, as I would with anyone driving like an arsehole and he pulled me over for 'aggressive driving'. The way he treated me, literally like a criminal, when HE was the one in the wrong and I had no idea he was police in his unmarked grey BMW, literally made me shake with fear and cry. I would never trust the police now. He totally abused his uniform and badge to intimidate a lone woman driver, just because he could.
isthisfishy · 30/09/2021 09:55

@zafferana I too am MC professional who in the course of my work regularly comes into contact with the police. I am a social worker and had one recently tell me we were 'on the same side' erm no we are not! I have been spoken to like shit by officers when dealing with them in a professional capacity so this in itself is enough to make me raise an eyebrow about how they deal with members of the public

Becca19962014 · 30/09/2021 10:03

@zafferana whenever I've seen that where I live it's always been a woman in the car on her own. I saw one arrested too as our of fear she reacted verbally to the officer. I've yet to see an accident, that'll be more luck than anything else.

I often sit on the wall outside to get some air which is how I've seen it.

zafferana · 30/09/2021 10:39

It really disturbs, but doesn't surprise me at all to hear your stories @isthisfishy and @Becca19962014. After that horrible incident, I was so ashamed and embarrassed that I actually didn't tell my DH when I got home. I blamed myself and thought that maybe I was in the wrong and that I had been driving aggressively. A few months later though, I got talking to a dad on the sidelines at one of my DC's sports and recounted it to him and he just looked at me and 'Holy shit, you're not the first one to tell me that story - I think there might be a 'rogue' police officer out there'. At that point, I stopped being ashamed and embarrassed and blaming myself and my perimenopausal state Angry

emuloc · 30/09/2021 11:57

@MintJulia

No. They'll pay lip service for a month or two, pretend to show some concern, discuss a public enquiry but never initiate it, and then close ranks when they think the fuss has died down.

The sexism and the brutish jokes will continue. Shame on them, including (and especially) Cressida Dick.

This. Also along with racism in the Met, not properly being dealt with either. Look how long that has been going on, and people have been talking about their encounters with racist police. While there is racism, there will always be sexism. They both need to be addressed.
Original poster
mytortoiseisill · 30/09/2021 15:55

"I blamed myself and thought that maybe I was in the wrong and that I had been driving aggressively."

that's what these people do to you.

OP posts: