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Original poster

Anyone else feel lonely with no adult company all day?

9 replies

sooverit21 · 29/09/2021 18:03

I have a 4yo and 2yo. Love them to pieces but God I miss the adult conversation. Some days I just feel so lonely. Anyone else??

OP posts:

MagnusMagnusson · 29/09/2021 19:49

Absolutely. At the moment DH still working from home since last march due to Covid but prior to then I had a 4 year old and 1 year old on my own all day. I look back at those years as so lonely and depressing. I am quite a sociable person so found it very hard to not have adult conversation all day. It got alot better when eldest started school as I got involved with the PTA and made lots of friends through that. If I had known then what I know now then I would have done those years quite differently as it really impacted my mental health and confidence. I just felt so worthless all the time and as though what I was doing was valueless. Are either of your two in nursery or anything so you might do some volunteering or something to help you? It's a tough gig for sure.

Finfintytint · 29/09/2021 19:52

Work. That solved it for me. Crikey, I was so lonely and felt worthless when not working. Is that an option?

whoknew23 · 29/09/2021 19:57

I have a 3 month old , I'm waiting on counselling and count the hours down until my husband comes home so I can talk to someone.

MeadowHay · 29/09/2021 19:59

I do, so that's part of the reason why I work. When I'm alone with DD and particularly on mat leaves then I try to get out to as many playgroups etc as possible to speak to other adults. I also WhatsApp message people a lot and I live very close to my immediate family, my DM doesn't work so I see her a lot on days I'm alone with DD too. Can you get out to playgroups and other places that there will be adults to chat to?

MagnusMagnusson · 29/09/2021 20:12

@whoknew23

I have a 3 month old , I'm waiting on counselling and count the hours down until my husband comes home so I can talk to someone.

Can totally relate @whoknew23. It can be sole destroying being at home all day alone with a baby/toddler etc.. Your post reminded me of myself 6 years ago. It does get better I can promise you that but would second what another poster said about going back to work in some format if possible. I didn't and can now see how it would have helped me so much. I am still healing myself from the utter worthlessness I felt about myself during those early months/years with my first child. Hope you are ok and that you get your counselling asap x

MagnusMagnusson · 29/09/2021 20:13

*soul not sole!

whoknew23 · 29/09/2021 20:34

@magnusmagnusson

Unfortunately I worked the same shifts as my DH so impossible to go back to work. Plus the place nearly destroyed me .

Was looking into nursery fees and just no way I could afford them.

It's just the feeling of being trapped as well, I live one up so find it really difficult to get out, my baby is more the size of a 6 month old 🤦‍♀️ yay 98th percentile 🙈

I just can't see how anyone enjoys this, I feel like it's absolute torture.

TurnUpTurnip · 29/09/2021 20:36

That’s my life all day every day, as a single parent

MagnusMagnusson · 29/09/2021 21:27

Yes, remember that feeling of being trapped, it's bloody awful. I could rarely be bothered to go out as it was such a faff coordinating food/naps as well as all the stuff that I had to take and I was fortunate in that I lived in a house so much easier to move pram/stuff etc than you have at the moment. I found it tough like you but there were a few chinks of hope for me which helped:

-invited folk to me. I made a few friends via NCT who i would invite to mine from time to time. Likewise mums of kids who went to my eldest's preschool. Presumably your eldest is in preschool now, are there any mums there you could befriend?
-volunteered in a charity shop at weekends. Only did a few hours every Saturday afternoon but it was my time and I loved it. It helped me last the week many weeks. I made sure I had freedom time from the children every week, was lucky that DH respected that need and encouraged it. I felt like a different person after it.
-I studied a short course, Nothing major or expensive, just something to give me a focus other than my misery. Did it whilst youngest napped. Oldest was at preschool by that stage.
-I did go out on lots of walks and would force myself to talk to anyone at the park. I had the most random of conversations because I was so desperate for conversation. I can laugh at some of them now but at the time I felt utterly lost and desperate.

Is your partner aware and supportive of you?

I use to torment myself with how impossible I would find it as a single parent. No words @TurnUpTurnip, huge respect for all single parents sheer ability to keep putting one foot in front of the other for the sake of their kids.

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