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Original poster

wedding photos- can I ask to see them?

21 replies

CommonRoom · 29/09/2021 17:59

A bit of a naive question. My best friend got married last month. It was a lovely occasion and very emotional as I travelled back to our home country, the first time since covid. It was also great to see her family and friends again.

The wedding photographer was someone I know vaguely, so I just looked on his website and I can see he has put the photos there, but you need a password to view them. How does this work? Is it normally just the people who paid the photographer who get the password? Would it seem pushy and rude to ask my friend for access?

It was such a lovely, memorable occasion full of people I love. I really want to see the photos. I wouldn't ask my friend to whatsapp them as she's busy and as we live in different countries I am unlikely to see the printed ones in an album. Perhaps she'll send one or two with a thank you note soon. But I want to see them all!

What's the etiquette with wedding pics?

OP posts:

NotYourCupOfTea · 29/09/2021 18:10

If your friend wanted to share the password she would.
I wouldn’t ask for the password, I’d perhaps ask if she’s got her photos yet and see if she wants to share them

Original poster

CommonRoom · 29/09/2021 18:18

Thanks for the reply.

Has anyone had occasion photos like this taken, which are uploaded to a photographer's website. Are they for the people who paid for them only? If so, how do people share wedding photos nowadays? Do they just put a selection on insta or FB later?

OP posts:

KimchiJjigae · 29/09/2021 18:23

Hi I would say the opposite, that's it's absolutely fine to ask and normal that the couple would share.

They're put on the photographer's website specifically to share with guests and so that they're private from other website visitors.

I remember when we had our photos the photographer provided the password for the purposes of sharing with guests. It could just be that they aren't contacting individuals with the password but more than happy to share.

Interested in this thread?

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Weddings

idontlikealdi · 29/09/2021 18:23

No you can't ask for the password, they're probably still being edited. Even if they share the password for free they'll be covered in copyright text or blurry.

Mammaaof · 29/09/2021 18:24

My mother in law gave me her password for her daughter's photos on a photography website as she wanted me to pick my top 5 , but I don't think it's a standard thing you give out

Orangedaisy · 29/09/2021 18:24

I also agree it’s fine and normal to ask the b&g for the password. I’d be embarrassed to offer it if I’d just got married but thrilled someone wanted to look!!

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 29/09/2021 18:26

In my limited experience the code is given to whoever paid for the photos and they can pass it on to everyone they want to see the photos

I don't see anything wrong in saying to the bride that you'd love to see the photos when they are ready. Surely every bride wants to show off the photos, what's wrong with asking in a polite way?

Original poster

CommonRoom · 29/09/2021 18:27

Thanks everyone! I think I might just ask her if the photographer has sent her the photos yet and see if she offers to share.

OP posts:

fairgame84 · 29/09/2021 18:28

Ask them.
I shared a few of our pics on SM but if any of the guests wanted to see more I wouldn't be offended if they asked.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 29/09/2021 18:29

@idontlikealdi

No you can't ask for the password, they're probably still being edited. Even if they share the password for free they'll be covered in copyright text or blurry.

That's not true at all, the photos you see once the photographer has finished their work and given the password are the fully edited ones. Why would they be blurry?

alphabetspagetti · 29/09/2021 18:32

Just ask. She will probably be delighted to share them.
At I the only person whose has people they scarcely know send them the link and password to hundreds of photos and then expect you to have a detailed conversation about particular photos?

lachy · 29/09/2021 18:32

We had a password for our online photos, and were able to select as many as we wanted to share with our guests.

None of ours were watermarked, but I think that's because we paid for a USB stick rather than selecting photos to go in an album.

AliasGrape · 29/09/2021 18:32

I’m pretty sure it’s normal for the photographer to provide the password and for the b&g to share that with anyone they want to see the photos (which are not blurry or covered in copyright text). I’ve been sent many a link along with password etc.

Our photographer put a selected few on his website which was open to the public (we agreed to this), but the rest were given to us both via Dropbox and on a memory stick. I made the effort to go through and share any that would be interesting to/ featured particular guests with them directly but it was a total ballache to be honest, a link to a website with a password that I could share with everyone and they could look if they were interested/ ignore if not would have been much easier.

If your friend hasn’t shared the password it could be that she’s not got round to it, assumes you wouldn’t be interested, or just doesn’t like the photos or want to share them for some reason.

I wouldn’t directly ask for the password but I’d drop her a line along the lines of ‘congratulations again and thanks again for a great day, how are you settling into married life? Wasn’t it such a wonderful day? I can’t wait to see pictures when you’re ready to share’ - will either prompt her to send the password or explain why she isn’t sharing, or if for any reason it’s an awkward subject she can just focus on the other bits of the message.

larrythelizard · 29/09/2021 18:32

We shared the website and password for ours and most friends did too - often at a card at the wedding

idontlikealdi · 29/09/2021 18:35

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair depends on the package paid for. They will be fuzzy if they need to be paid for first otherwise everyone would just drop them from the website. Even out school photos are like this.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 29/09/2021 18:39

[quote idontlikealdi]@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair depends on the package paid for. They will be fuzzy if they need to be paid for first otherwise everyone would just drop them from the website. Even out school photos are like this.[/quote]
Well obviously but the password isn't going to made available to anyone until the photos are finished and paid for. Would a wedding photographer who charges a fortune for their work give out the password before they are finished and paid for surely that isn't a thing?

WFHWF · 29/09/2021 18:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Mariell · 29/09/2021 19:26

Why can’t you just message/call your friend and say -

Hi friend, I had a lovely time at your wedding, it was wonderful to see you all. Hope you got some great photos of the day, I would love to see them when you have any digital images available.

Hope you’re enjoying married life!

Chit chat

Love CommonRoom xxx

Crimblecrumble1990 · 29/09/2021 19:35

It would be normal amongst my friends to say something like, 'I would love to see the photos from your wedding, is there an online album or anything I can view'.

Totally regular question in my experience and most people do have an online album and they share the password with the wedding guests afterwards.

Original poster

CommonRoom · 30/09/2021 20:36

I just whatsapped my friend some of the photos I took myself and asked if she had the 'offical' photos yet. Waitng to see what she replies...

OP posts:

Littlepaws18 · 30/09/2021 20:42

Having just got married and had the same predicament myself here's the answer: ask her for the pictures. You shouldn't get the password because the photos are still technically owned by the photographer. So for example if you post them on social media my photographer (who is also my sister in law) wanted her business hashtaged in in the captions. I wasn't allowed to give them to other businesses without her permission. So we made 3 videos with our gro pro of 75 photos each and shared them with our friends and family using above protocol. Any photos of individuals we sent to them explaining the rules of social media. Any photos anyone wants (this is only my mother in law) she has looked through them all told me the numbers she likes and I'll print them for her. But I'd not share the password with anyone- it then means ownership is compromised and it would be difficult to police where they go.

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