Does facing your fears work?

[Ori3]

I can't make up my mind on this one. I don't know whether your worst fear is made worse by encountering it, and only made better if, in that encounter, you subdue it. If you face your worst fear and it subdues you, then I think the process of facing your fear does more harm than good because it reinforces a negative message (shit, I'm really scared, this is too much and too real,) as a pose to a positive one (I can do this, there's nothing to be frightened of.)

Psychologists talk about facing your fears to (hopefully) put mind over matter, and effectively dissolve them. But I think "fear" is a more complex phenomenon than this - surely it takes deeper work to identify the "why" of your fear as a pose to simply placing you in front of the scenario or object - whatever - which may just be a conduit for expression after all.

What are people's thoughts/experiences on this?

I know with dogs and children they talk about it being a good idea to only push the fear so far. Otherwise you end up traumatised from it. Presume it’s the same in adults.

Yes, but you’ve got to stay within the window of tolerance.

Hiding from something reinforces the fear and can make it worse. Pushing so hard that you are overwhelmed can also make it worse. There is a middle ground. That’s how & why Graded Exposure Works but “flooding” is, IMO, a bad idea.

www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/window-of-tolerance

Most 'exposure therapy' is iterative, though - not like forcing a person who is terrified of flying to jump on a 12-hr flight to New York and be okay with it.

CBT is a form of exposure therapy.

depends

is the fear rational or irrational?

Is it being "faced" in a controlled or an uncontrolled way?

Is it being "faced" in a supportive and predictable environment or not?

Is the "facer" participating willingly or under coercion?

Ive tried "facing my fears" when I had PTSD. It didn't work. It didn't make anything worse either

I have had a few years of finding it really hard to get into a cold ocean to swim. This summer I ‘gave my head a wobble’. Decided firmly on way to a beach that I was just going to submerge then swim. Did not speak to dp about it. Worked a treat because I had got my head into a place where I had already decided what I was going to do. It made it straightforward. This the only example I can think of personally but I’ve got to say al of that ‘it’s all in your head’ stuff seems to have a point ! Good luck op

Yes it's good to face your fear but in a controlled exposure way.

I say this as someone who's had agoraphobia and beaten it in the main

I think integrating your experience by looking at your life experiences and beliefs in a nuanced and compassionate way can be fruitful. It’s not something to be too gung-ho about though.

Facing fear is deep inner work. No-one has fear when a new born so is it a learned behaviour? Has this learned behaviour then become habitual? When the fear is triggered is it to be looked at reactively or proactively? Absorbed or observed?
Guidance is needed for this deep inner self introspection.

I hated driving anywhere new... Made me feel stressed and sick.
Got a job that needed me going to new areas often... The customer gave me great instructions and a map to use along with my satnav!! Been 4 years now and a much more confident driver!!

Aren’t some fears instinctive though? Like fear of snakes.

No. I'm scared of heights but make myself go up and I'm still scared. Worst was a cable car in Spain.

I also touched a snake to try and overcome my fear of them but that didn't work either. I guess I'm just a scaredy-cat?

@Ori3

I can't make up my mind on this one. I don't know whether your worst fear is made worse by encountering it, and only made better if, in that encounter, you subdue it. If you face your worst fear and it subdues you, then I think the process of facing your fear does more harm than good because it reinforces a negative message (shit, I'm really scared, this is too much and too real,) as a pose to a positive one (I can do this, there's nothing to be frightened of.)

Psychologists talk about facing your fears to (hopefully) put mind over matter, and effectively dissolve them. But I think "fear" is a more complex phenomenon than this - surely it takes deeper work to identify the "why" of your fear as a pose to simply placing you in front of the scenario or object - whatever - which may just be a conduit for expression after all.

What are people's thoughts/experiences on this?

Think you have to name your fear to get specific advice,

@JaneJeffer

I also touched a snake to try and overcome my fear of them but that didn't work either. I guess I'm just a scaredy-cat?

I think snakes, spiders etc is a deep instinctive fear

I think a lot of fears are good and keep us alive

Such as fears of snakes and spiders, fear ohms heights too. Even fear of flying makes total sense to me

However, if you have a fear of speaking in public, doing presentations or a fear that stops you leaving the house, it obviously makes sense to try and face that fear and overcome it

@Mysticguru

Facing fear is deep inner work. No-one has fear when a new born so is it a learned behaviour? Has this learned behaviour then become habitual? When the fear is triggered is it to be looked at reactively or proactively? Absorbed or observed? Guidance is needed for this deep inner self introspection.

I think you are very wrong. Many fears are innate. They are not learnt, they are instinctive.

Newborns have a massive fear of falling! When the get the falling asleep sensation they can wake themselves by instinctively flailing their arms wildly

They also have fear of abandonment

Babies are not fearless