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To be frustrated by teachers language

5 replies

Samuraisammy · 29/09/2021 12:39

Our DD turns eight in a few months. Me and OH are continually taken aback by the pressure that she feels at school, especially during subjects such as English.
We feel like they put so much emphasis on perfection within each lesson that it stifles their creativity or leaves them uneasy.
It’s the language the teacher uses, last years teacher was similar.

“You must have your neatest handwriting”
“You have to include as many adjectives, nouns, (and other grammar things that I hadn’t heard of!) in your work”

As a child so young she takes everything said very literally and seriously and is getting herself into knots because she is worried about getting into trouble.

We’ve tried to reassure her to just do her best and that we don’t expect her to do her greatest handwriting or work every single time as that would be exhausting for anyone. It works for a couple of days and then she comes back sad and stressed again that the teacher is pulling a face or raising her voice/using words that they aren’t doing this, or they need to do that.

Last week she had to go back into class after lunch because she had done up to question three and the teacher wanted eight done. She became really upset because when she showed the teacher the extra questions she had come back to do, the teacher apparently just rolled her eyes and sighed because she didn’t manage to do the full eight.

I just don’t see how this is supportive at all. If they want work done at speed they shouldn’t expect perfect handwriting as well.

Does anyone else have this problem? Just feels a lifetime from how they used to teach when I was in her year. I understand they ramp it up in key stage 2, but we just feel that it’s a bit much.

Apparently the pages get covered in markings of what should be done, what’s been missed out. And she comes back deflated and picks herself apart. I feel horrible for her.

I understand you need to gee a class up and have them focussed but there doesn’t seem to be a balance?

OP posts:
Geamhradh · 29/09/2021 12:46

At 8 if she's not managing to complete the work, you need to speak to the teacher and find out why. It sounds like she's struggling a fair amount.
That's your priority.
Ask the teacher how she can be helped to keep up with the work.

UuijungKo · 29/09/2021 12:47

I think its worth meeting the teacher OP.

yoshiblue · 29/09/2021 12:50

Agree, re: speaking to the teacher about the pressure she is feeling and how upset she is.

My DS is Year 3, and it definitely more the language of 'try to do your best handwriting', 'challenge yourself to include multiple adjectives' (there was a fancy word for this!) rather than any have/must.

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Itsbeen84yearss · 29/09/2021 12:56

There is a lot more pressure in Y3. You need to speak to the teacher and find out what’s happening though.
Three questions doesn’t sound like a lot but depends on the questions obviously. Is she struggling or is she messing about? It’s very hard for kids because last year there was a general atmosphere of ‘just do what you can’ with COVID and lockdowns and this year it’s back to full on. I think it’s a shock to kids

junebirthdaygirl · 29/09/2021 12:57

It's horrible to be under such pressure and praise and encouragement would go a lot further in seeing an improvement. Do have chat with the teacher and ask her how she thinks your dd is progressing. Tell her how dd seems so stressed and ask how you can help. Do you think she might be dreaming a little bit in class only to get to question 3 or is it because she is trying to do perfect handwriting. Have a friendly chat at first so you can gather what's happening.

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