Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Has anyone retired early and regretted it?

206 replies

50andup · 28/09/2021 14:40

I'm in my 50s, have always saved into pensions/ISAs and am now in the very fortunate position of being able to afford to stop work if I want to.

I know lots of people would think - that's brilliant and be off! But I'm wondering if I'll regret retiring early? After all, if I live to 100 Grin, that's 45ish years of effectively being on holiday!

I've got loads of friends, already volunteer and have interests I could invest more time into, but is that enough? No desire to travel the world (done that already) or any very significant plans, so wondering if I'll get bored after a bit...

Has anyone else retired early and then regretted it later?

OP posts:
LeaveYourHatOn · 29/09/2021 12:06

It probably suits some people more than others.

I'm 49, a SAHM, have been for years and years. I have no problems with filling my days with useful, fun, interesting things to do. I have a wide circle of friends, I read a lot, volunteer, cook and bake, walk the dog, visit places, take care of housework and all kids' stuff.

My parents, on the other hand, retired early after running their own business for years, but made no plans for what they were going to do. They got old fast. They had no real way of using time - it had always been about the business and suddenly it was "free" but they'd never developed any real interests or hobbies outside of work. They talked a lot about travelling or taking up painting or whatever but somehow never got round to it.

DFOD · 29/09/2021 12:21

For those suggesting they would be bored retiring younger - how do you plan not to be bored when you retire older?

DFOD · 29/09/2021 12:23

@50andup - how do you spend your two days / weekends off work currently? What will you do with the extra 3 days - do more of the same stuff, do additional stuff that you don’t / can’t do now or rest up?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

RampantIvy · 29/09/2021 12:32

Nah, I am not more dull for working - I am more alive, more connected and more often pushed out of my comfort zone and building my confidence

I can identify with this.

I'm currently WFH and I do 4 short days a week (I finish at 2.30) so I'm feeling in the position that I have the opportunity to do other things with my day but working gives me some structure. And I won't give up work until I've got other things in place to provide that structure.

Those are my circumstances as well. I still have enough of the day left to go for a nice walk somewhere interesting after work.

Sweetchocolatecandy · 29/09/2021 13:13

Those who have retired younger- will you still be entitled to a full state pension or will there be less in the pot due to taking early retirement? I want to retire in my 50s but looking at my forecast I will need to work until at least 60 to get full pension (35 national insurance contributions).

Theendoftheworldisnigh · 29/09/2021 13:19

For someone like me, it's easy to get into a rut of not getting much done. Where going for a walk or doing the supermarket shop is the main achievement of the day. Frittering time away on MN or whatever. And I saw what happened to my mother, who didn't work. She had an interest (gardening), so felt busy, but she went downhill mentally and other people found her not very bright and quite boring. I think she would have been a very different person if she'd worked. It's important to stretch yourself mentally. Some hobbies probably provide that - eg chess, or writing. But going for walks and so on doesn't keep your brain in good shape. I imagine that some retired people are interesting to themselves but not to others.

GreatPotato · 29/09/2021 13:21

@Sweetchocolatecandy

Those who have retired younger- will you still be entitled to a full state pension or will there be less in the pot due to taking early retirement? I want to retire in my 50s but looking at my forecast I will need to work until at least 60 to get full pension (35 national insurance contributions).
I'm 1 year short of a full pension. It makes less than £2 pw difference.
rookiemere · 29/09/2021 13:25

Keeping working so others don't find you boring doesn't seem like a good reason tbh.

As long as the person is content, then it's up to them. Also I've found as I get a bit older I don't need as much for the day to seem full.

LeaveYourHatOn · 29/09/2021 13:25

I'd also point out that working doesn't automatically make you mentally sharper or more alert or more interesting. It depends very much on what your job is!

Hardbackwriter · 29/09/2021 13:31

As long as the person is content, then it's up to them. Also I've found as I get a bit older I don't need as much for the day to seem full.

I think you're right that it doesn't matter if the person themselves is happy, but I think that 'the day seems easily full' thing is exactly what people mean when they say people slow down/become mentally older. When people are a bit under-occupied they often become a bit fixated on, and even fretful about, quite small tasks - the 'oh I couldn't possibly go for lunch on Tuesday because that's the day we go to Waitrose' phenomenon. I don't think it is really age, I think it's the lack of structure and busyness; I felt we were slipping into it a bit this summer because DH was on his long holiday (teacher) and I'm on mat leave. We didn't really have quite enough to do and started making mountains out of molehills. As you say it's fine if people are happy like that but it can make them seem a bit dull, and a bit hard to relate to, for other people with busier lives.

Theendoftheworldisnigh · 29/09/2021 13:31

@LeaveYourHatOn

I'd also point out that working doesn't automatically make you mentally sharper or more alert or more interesting. It depends very much on what your job is!
That's true. If you can afford to retire, you can afford to take on some less well paid but more interesting / challenging job (even just because it's new to you). It could be in the voluntary sector. You're achieving something useful, stretching yourself and meeting new people. Or at least a stretching new hobby.
Cruiser11 · 29/09/2021 13:32

Sweetchocolatecandy
I have 29/35 of my state pension and it’s still clocking up as I care for my DM. I’m not relying on it at all and have done all calculations based on pension private pots (1.4 million).

Ori3 · 29/09/2021 13:41

I'm only 39 so I've probably got another 30 years of working life ahead of me. Whether or not you like retirement depends on many things I would imagine.

  1. Whether you like your job.
  2. Whether you have an identity outside of work
  3. Whether you have the ability to fashion a meaningful life for yourself post-retirement
  4. Your health
  5. What your marriage/partnership is like at home
  6. Whether you will have enough money to do the things you want to do.

Sure if it's all roses in these regards you'll probably have a blast. But if not, you'll feel like shit

shinynewapple21 · 29/09/2021 14:01

@GreatPotato I recognise myself in your post about being a procrastinator and agree that without timetabled events eg session volunteering , language class . I would also spend all day on MN or similar !

RowanAlong · 29/09/2021 14:21

Ooh lucky you! I’d retire and if I got bored would ramp up the volunteering or take a part-time job in something completely different.

julieca · 29/09/2021 14:22

I think if your health is good, you have to have something to retire to. And I don't think walking the dog or going for a swim is enough if you want to keep yourself mentally young.
And I think nearly all jobs are mentally challenging to some degree as you are usually balancing competing demands and dealing with a variety of people.
An example of a friend who has retired and I think become older is a woman in her mid-fifties I know. She is physically fit and goes walking and swimming. But if she does more than one thing in a day she declares herself exhausted. She would not go to the cinema in the afternoon and out in the evening with family and friends as that is too tiring. She sounds like someone in her eighties and I do worry if she is like that in her mid-fifties, what will she be like in twenty years time.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 29/09/2021 15:29

An example of a friend who has retired and I think become older is a woman in her mid-fifties I know. She is physically fit and goes walking and swimming. But if she does more than one thing in a day she declares herself exhausted. She would not go to the cinema in the afternoon and out in the evening with family and friends as that is too tiring. She sounds like someone in her eighties and I do worry if she is like that in her mid-fifties, what will she be like in twenty years time

Sounds like every teacher in their 50’s I’ve ever known. I was one, so glad l got out. It is physically demanding and exhausting.

peaceanddove · 29/09/2021 15:30

It's little to do with chronological age and everything to do with your personality and attitude to life.

My Auntie is 78 but still great company because she has a lively, enquiring mind and has lots of interests and a large circle of friends. But she has always been like this. I think you're either young at heart or not. When I first met my MIL she was only 48, that's 3 years younger than I am now. But she was already elderly in her outlook and behaviour and attitude toward life in general.

Larryyourwaiter · 29/09/2021 15:46

My MIL retired early and did nothing. She still went shopping on a Saturday afternoon same as when she worked and nothing else. Never did anything, never went anywhere.
She aged and became very unfit very fast. When FIL retired shortly afterwards he was forced into the same routine. Neither of them lasted very long.
The sad bit was they talked about nothing else for decades. What a waste.

I don’t have to work just now. But I do. I like the company and more than anything I like my colleagues. They are people I probably wouldn’t know otherwise. I laughed my head off with someone 25 years younger than me today.

KittenKong · 29/09/2021 15:50

I guess it suits some people. I have things I want to do before I get too old and decrepit, and I’m just finding work a bit of a tiring drag at the moment. Plus I am always happy to find ‘things to do’ and a happy potterer!

Elphame · 29/09/2021 16:23

No. I retired at 53 and loved it. I still do.

I'm young enough and active enough to have picked up new hobbies and I can finally have the dogs I always wanted. I feel very lucky.

Autumngoldleaf · 29/09/2021 16:28

Has anyone mentioned fire movement?
The idea that you live off your capital and "retire" early really meaning.. You have enough money to do what what want, work where you you want rather than having to work.

Washeduponthebeach · 29/09/2021 16:31

@LeaveYourHatOn

I'd also point out that working doesn't automatically make you mentally sharper or more alert or more interesting. It depends very much on what your job is!
Yes. There seems to be this assumption that all work is meaningful and uses your brain. It really isn't . A lot of jobs are a living death. Retirement gives you the freedom to please yourself and live free of stress.
MrsFezziwig · 29/09/2021 16:32

@PersonaNonGarter

Nah, I am not more dull for working - I am more alive, more connected and more often pushed out of my comfort zone and building my confidence.

I know that retiree don’t like to hear this but it is true - people quickly lose that edge once they retire. So what? They’ve earned it and they probably don’t care. But it does generally make for duller company.

So have you been retired Persona? If you haven’t, then it’s rather presumptuous of you to discount the opinions of those who have been in both situations. And I’ve got no idea what you mean by losing your “edge”, what is that?

shinynewapple21 · 29/09/2021 16:34

@peaceanddove

It's little to do with chronological age and everything to do with your personality and attitude to life.

My Auntie is 78 but still great company because she has a lively, enquiring mind and has lots of interests and a large circle of friends. But she has always been like this. I think you're either young at heart or not. When I first met my MIL she was only 48, that's 3 years younger than I am now. But she was already elderly in her outlook and behaviour and attitude toward life in general.

That's a very good point