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Original poster

Splitting expenses when one partner has a house owned outright

86 replies

WoodchipNightmares · 28/09/2021 08:59

We're in our early 30s, and DP and I would like to move in together. This would mean him moving into my home.

I am in the extraordinarily fortunate (but also sad) position that - due to my DM dying unexpectedly and leaving everything to me - I own my home outright. Obviously I have to pay out all the usual bills, repairs etc., but there's no mortgage.

DP is living in a rented flat, shared with a friend. He's not a particularly high earner (c. £20k/year) and getting on the housing ladder alone is something of a pipedream for him. I'm self employed and my income can fluctuate, but it's in the ballpark of £25-35k/year.

I'd expect bills to be split (50/50 or by earnings?) but I don't know what to do about the cost of housing itself. If he's there rent free is he a cocklodger? If I asked for rent would I be taking the piss? What if, in 10 years, the house needed something major doing to it like a new roof - should that be split?

No kids, and not planning them for health reasons, and neither of us is especially fussed about marriage.

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 28/09/2021 09:12

Bills should be split proportionately to earnings and I don't think you should ask for rent but you could suggest you both put, say, £250 a month into a joint account? Much less than rent or a mortgage so perfectly affordable and enough that, should something go wrong with the house in a few years time, that you won't be panicking.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/09/2021 09:15

Bills should be 50/50 as two adults without any dependents - only proportionate when theirs children imo. Unless the difference is so stark the standard of living is too much for the lower earner ie. 20k and 100k.

As for rent- no I wouldn’t charge a partner rent (I know many disagree)- I like the idea of some money into a joint pot incase of any works.

dogmandu · 28/09/2021 10:14

I think he should make a rent contribution otherwise he will just be building up his savings using the money he would have had to pay out for rent somewhere else.

They're lovey dovey right now but somewhere down the line things may be different and he would have amassed considerable savings but she would have nothing

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BrisbaneandGone · 28/09/2021 10:23

There's another thread on here about a woman moving into her partner's house and she's pissed off that he's asked her to pay rent. Maybe read that?

girlmom21 · 28/09/2021 10:27

@dogmandu

I think he should make a rent contribution otherwise he will just be building up his savings using the money he would have had to pay out for rent somewhere else.

They're lovey dovey right now but somewhere down the line things may be different and he would have amassed considerable savings but she would have nothing

Why would she have nothing? She has no mortgage to pay and he'll be paying half of what she currently pays. She'll be loads better off.

dogmandu · 28/09/2021 10:37

She'll be loads better off.

so will he - loads!

girlmom21 · 28/09/2021 10:40

@dogmandu

She'll be loads better off.

so will he - loads!

Correct - but I was responding to you saying she'll have nothing...

Stripyhoglets · 28/09/2021 10:42

No you shouldn't ask him for rent. Or to contribute to repairs on a property he doesn't have a legal share in.
Half the bills would be fair and ensure he doesn't get a legal claim over your property should you break up.

Original poster

WoodchipNightmares · 28/09/2021 10:44

@BrisbaneandGone

There's another thread on here about a woman moving into her partner's house and she's pissed off that he's asked her to pay rent. Maybe read that?

Thanks, I did read the first few pages, though as that house was mortgaged I considered the fundamentals of the equation to be rather different!

While not charging him rent would mean his savings go up substantially, any rent charged would mean that my savings were going up substantially on the back of what is ultimately unearned wealth. And my savings are already going up because I've paid off the mortgage already - so I can hardly claim to have nothing.

OP posts:

Mariell · 28/09/2021 10:46

I wouldn’t charge him rent but I would split the bills but the higher earned pay for extra treats such as take aways, meals out, holiday spending money etc.

Whilst he is living there I would expect him to do physical work around the house such as small DIY jobs and helping to maintain the garden.

That way if you split he still has savings to be able to move on comfortably and the homeowner has a well maintained home that is all hers.

dogmandu · 28/09/2021 10:47

I see her house as her 'savings' if you will. Somebody probably had to work many years to pay for it therefore I think it's completely fair that he pays something towards the privilege of living there for free., whilst at the same time building up his savings. He's getting all the advantages of somebody else's hard work for free.

rwalker · 28/09/2021 10:49

Keep it simple just split the bills . Not being cynical but you never know whats round the corner and once you start taking money it become awkward to the point they could have a claim against your house .

Is it really worth risking your security for a few hundred pounds

dogmandu · 28/09/2021 10:49

I see I'm outnumbered!

Sweetchocolatecandy · 28/09/2021 10:50

I was on this position when my partner moved in with me. We just split bills equally- I would never have even thought about charging him rent or profiting off him as he was my partner, not my lodger.

mewkins · 28/09/2021 10:51

I usually say that it is fair to pay rent in these situations. But I think considering his earnings etc I think I would work out what I wanted out of life and maybe you both save the money for going on holidays and doing stuff together. Also yes to working out that you both need to contribute to upkeep and doing stuff in the house.

OuiOuiBonjour · 28/09/2021 10:51

Be careful. My Aunt was in this position and her boyfriend of 12 years (who didn't work and had never contributed to the mortgage) ended up with a legal claim to her home. Look into how you can protect yourself.

Sweetchocolatecandy · 28/09/2021 10:57

@dogmandu

The OP’s partner can’t help what the OP’s current financial situation or living arrangements are. He may be giving up things or making sacrifices to live there- he will certainly have no security if they break up due to it not being his house. Not all men are out to fleece women.

InnPain · 28/09/2021 10:59

It’s a good question you’ve asked. Hmmm rent no I wouldn’t charge that simply because there isn’t any mortgage to pay (which I hope he appreciates and realises how fortunate he is to make such a huge saving).

It doesn’t sit well with me though, I feel he should be paying something to stay if you know what I mean, out with bills/food/repairs/contributions towards any future furnishings etc.

How long have you been together?

InnPain · 28/09/2021 11:01

@Sweetchocolatecandy - agreed he has no security but he wouldn’t lose anything if they split as he wouldn’t have contributed any rent. He’s only going to be paying for food and bills etc which is still a huge saving for him compared to if he lived on his own. It’s a win win for him whether they are together or split.

InnPain · 28/09/2021 11:02

I agree with @dogmandu

Pancakeorcrepe · 28/09/2021 11:02

@girlmom21 she will not be better off. They will be splitting the bills, but the bills will be almost double as there are two people living there. Hot water for showers, heating at times OP would normally not be home and not have it on, cooking bigger amounts of food, etc.

Sweetchocolatecandy · 28/09/2021 11:07

[quote InnPain]@Sweetchocolatecandy - agreed he has no security but he wouldn’t lose anything if they split as he wouldn’t have contributed any rent. He’s only going to be paying for food and bills etc which is still a huge saving for him compared to if he lived on his own. It’s a win win for him whether they are together or split.[/quote]
She is also going to be better off by him splitting bills and food with her, as well as her owning the house outright and having full security.

Sometimes that’s just how it works out.

imnotacelebritygetmeoutofhere · 28/09/2021 11:30

As you don't have a mortgage to pay then I think it's reasonable to not charge him rent either. Bills should be split 50/50. For general maintenance, fixes and large pay-outs like you suggest a roof, well who pays for that (you, or both of you) depends on your financial intentions long term. You say you won't marry, but do you see him as your life partner with a "what's mine is yours and vice versa" arrangement? Do you plan to make a will and leave the property to him if you die? If so then you both pay equally, if not then you pay.

gogohm · 28/09/2021 11:47

I would suggest splitting bills 50/50 and suggesting to him you both put in £x a month into a joint savings account for household things like repairs as you will both be saving money living together splitting bills. In the event of you splitting up the money is split 50/50 and he walks away with his half which would help him with a rental deposit etc. The amount this is set at is negotiable!

underneaththeash · 28/09/2021 11:48

I would just split bills. The house is yours.

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