I've just found out my close friend is close friends with the accomplice to my brothers attempted murder

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

And I'm not sure how to feel about it.

Without giving away too many identifiable details, the accomplice caused a distraction so the actual attacker could murder my brother. Thankfully my brother survived but only just, it's a miracle that he did. He had many stab wounds and both his lungs collapsed.

I'm not sure if my friend knows what this guy did, he's only been friends with him a couple of years and my brothers attack was 8 years ago. He didn't get charged with anything, just questioned and let go.

I have very vivid memories of sitting next to my mum in the ICU, of her holding his hand and telling him it was okay to let go and stop fighting if he was too tired to carry on.

I don't know whether to feel pity for this guy, as he is actually the attackers younger brother and was 15 at the time, he was probably just doing what his brother told him to do, maybe he didn't know what was actually going to happen. But then again, maybe he DID know?!

I have no idea. What would you feel if this were you? What would you do, if anything?

I think your close friend would know if they are close with the accomplice as even if he didn’t mention his own involvement he would probably have mentioned his brother and what he had done.

Personally I would drop the friend as I wouldn’t want any connection to that family or the risk of them knowing anything about me etc.

"I would tell the friend everything and ask him to not ever discuss you or pass information about you or your family to anyone in this group. Everyone has said he was probably scared and intimidated. Equally he could have felt tough and have a continued loyalty to his brother. It’s not safe to assume everything is lovely. Don’t relax too much".

I agree with this.

@Underamour

A few things here

1. Does seeing him trigger you?
2. After a clear and continued threat of murder in the future is the brother keeping an eye on you and feeding information back to the attacker?
3. how is your brother now?

I would tell the friend everything and ask him to not ever discuss you or pass information about you or your family to anyone in this group. Everyone has said he was probably scared and intimidated. Equally he could have felt tough and have a continued loyalty to his brother. It’s not safe to assume everything is lovely. Don’t relax too much.

I find it hard to be around the people who betrayed me and led to me nearly dying. The trust us gone and can never be restored. There aren’t any words that would make it OK.

1, I don't think I've met him 2, He doesn't know who I am, I don't really see my brother often and he doesn't even live in the same town anymore so I highly doubt this. Also... they are both my brothers step brothers (it's a very large and deeply complex family with endless steps and halfs. Their family tree would make you dizzy) so getting information on my brother would be very easy. His mother wants my brother to forgive and forget and has asked him to visit his attacker in prison. 3, He has lifelong disabilities, his voice has been ruined by his injuries and then a tracheostomy. He has to be really careful about eating food because his 'flappy bit' that stops food going down the wrong way doesn't work properly. He also tires easily and gets out of breath quickly which is sad as he used to be pretty sporty!

Sorry not sure if that was clear, the attacker and his brother are my brothers step brothers. Their mum is with my brothers dad.

I think your close friend would know if they are close with the accomplice as even if he didn’t mention his own involvement he would probably have mentioned his brother and what he had done.
So, his involvement aside, you think that if someone has a family member serving time for a criminal offence that person is automatically guilty by association?

If the friend hadn’t specifically stated that he was involved in this crime, it should never be assumed that he was purely because he has a brother doing time. Obviously in this instance he was involved, but plenty of people have family who commit the most horrendous crimes, that doesn’t make them accomplices or outcasts.

The bit I'm confused by is how your friend is friends with the accomplice and, knowing you at the time of the attack, and presumably that his friends brother is in prison how he hasn't put two and two together.

Just tell your friend

Is your brothers Dad still with the attackers mum?

Just say to your friend I saw you were tagged in a post with “name of accomplice “. I wasn’t aware you knew him. Do you know what the history is regarding my brother and him.

@TSSDNCOP

The bit I'm confused by is how your friend is friends with the accomplice and, knowing you at the time of the attack, and presumably that his friends brother is in prison how he hasn't put two and two together.

The attacker and his brother have different surnames, the brothers name was kept quiet so it didn't really get spread around town that he was involved. I assume that maybe he hasn't spoken about his brother to anyone?

@EnjoyingTheSilence

Is your brothers Dad still with the attackers mum?

Yes, still going strong together.

Just say to your friend I saw you were tagged in a post with “name of accomplice “. I wasn’t aware you knew him. Do you know what the history is regarding my brother and him.

That. Just calmly bring it out into the open.