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Original poster

Where do you buy clothes from in your forties?

53 replies

NoEffingWay · 26/09/2021 21:32

I am in my early forties, and recently have struggled to buy clothing that isn't reminiscent of something my Mum would wear, or doesn't make me look like I am trying to be 20 again. The closure of loads of clothing shops hasn't helped my cause here!
I don't like Joules/Boden/Fat Face or White stuff typically-I am not a fan of floral tunics!
For reference I am a size 16, short but hopefully not frumpy woman. I wear gym stuff to exercise in, but like to look well put together outside of the gym!

OP posts:
Silverswirl · 26/09/2021 23:23

@ShrikeAttack

Hey OP, get yourself over to Style and Beauty and get yourself acquainted with shopping online.

I'm amazed when women your age still do the majority of your shopping in person.

You are really minimising your options.

I am same age as OP but I hate buying clothes online! I am a size 12-14 but very curvy. It might take me a good couple of hours to find even one or two items that fits and flatters and that’s with trying on dozens of things. Trousers / shorts and jeans I can take 20 pairs from next into and none fit properly! Dresses forget it. I hardly own any because they just don’t look good / fit my huge boobs, cinch at the waist or flatter my larger lower tummy. How on Earth does anyone get anything to fit online? I would be constantly taking stuff back to the PO or trying to arrange collections which I just don’t want to do?
Ozanj · 26/09/2021 23:28

You just buy from places that do free returns and then return them. Confused

ShrikeAttack · 26/09/2021 23:42

@Silverswirl, you need to find labels that work for you.

Aesthetic and fit.

Once you have, shopping online is very easy.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Clothing General shopping General style & beauty
ShrikeAttack · 26/09/2021 23:46

And also @Silverswirl, knowing what suits you.

At the age of 40ish, you should have had a fair bit of experience.

I'm an inverted triangle, very wide shoulders, slim hips. I know what suits me and works well.

You must know what you're drawn to and what has looked good in the past?

ShrikeAttack · 26/09/2021 23:50

And yes, I do send things back.

It's not that onerous.

Rather that and have a world of style open to me than be stymied by the local options.

Silverswirl · 26/09/2021 23:59

@ShrikeAttack

And also *@Silverswirl*, knowing what suits you.

At the age of 40ish, you should have had a fair bit of experience.

I'm an inverted triangle, very wide shoulders, slim hips. I know what suits me and works well.

You must know what you're drawn to and what has looked good in the past?

Sort of I guess. But I would love to have the money for a personal stylist as so much I try on looks crazy bad! I know I have to have a scoop or v neck too - never ever high neck. Longer tops are better but apart from that, no! I have absolutely no idea really and just go by what stuff looks like on!
Silverswirl · 27/09/2021 00:00

@ShrikeAttack

And yes, I do send things back.

It's not that onerous.

Rather that and have a world of style open to me than be stymied by the local options.

I live near a very huge indoor shopping centre, one of the biggest in England so there is quite a bit of choice in comfort with many places to eat and drink around them!
SpacePotato · 27/09/2021 00:19

@ShrikeAttack

ASOS is a horror-show if you're not sure what you want.
Completely agree.

I used to love asos back in the day, now finding anything amongst the endless weird shaped, poorly cut clothes made of cheap sweaty fabrics is a nightmare.
Then when I finally find a nice dress, after looking at thousands of images of models in bizarrely contorted poses, I look at the other pics of it to find that most of the back of the bloody dress is missing!

Definitely quantity over quality.

Nsky · 27/09/2021 00:22

59, eBay monsoon, m and s and tu, and next, Sometimes phase eight.
5’4 14/16 , full price, all the above, sometimes George.

ShrikeAttack · 27/09/2021 00:53

@Silverswirl, be your own stylist!

I really would recommend online shopping, but you really have to know what you want.

I haven't 'gone shopping' for over 20 years. Really.

If I went to Manchester to 'look for clothes' I'd be all over the place. I never shopped like that, even 30 years ago. I looked in magazines etc to get inspiration and then searched for the shops that sold the things I wanted to achieve the look I wanted.

You've got to start with an idea. Throwing yourself around the available retailers isn't the place to begin.

Original poster
NoEffingWay · 27/09/2021 01:07

@ShrikeAttack the issue is that I had a definite style, but as I got older my clothing needs changed. I went through a 'mumsy' Joules breton top and jeans phase which was practical and smartish, but as the kids have got older, I don't want to keep doing it.
I like dresses, but at the moment all I am seeing are high-necked gathered dresses which make me look about 80, and matronly to boot.
I want to look put together, styled but not overdone. It also needs to be long-lasting, not overly fashion led but also not circa 2015.
I have found some pieces in m&s and next in the past but their current offerings are bland or floral jersey horrors!

OP posts:
batmanladybird · 27/09/2021 01:12

Place marking

ShrikeAttack · 27/09/2021 01:26

Ok @NoEffingWay, what was your style before you had your children?

I guarantee it's not changed that much. What did you want to wear and more importantly why did you want to wear it?

What did it say about you?

Who are you and why do you want to wear clothes?

You obviously do because you're asking the question. So think about the woman you are. Who is she? What does she do? What does she want?

If you can answer those questions you'll start to get an idea about who you're actually dressing.

Start from there! Meet and get to know yourself.

I think you might like her!!

JustGiveMeGin · 27/09/2021 06:54

Not quite 40 but not far off, I stopped working in an office half way through the pandemic (I had to look put together and mostly achieved it, I think!) I mainly shopped at ASOS, Boohoo or Pretty Little Thing.....lots of people hate them but because I had such a certain sense of what I was looking for it was easier to find what I wanted and dismiss anything I didn't. Maybe do a mood board of a look you are interested in then hunt it down?
I work in care now, don't give a toss what I look like so I shop on Vinted for second hand jeans and jumpers!

heidiwine · 27/09/2021 07:15

No one has mentioned jigsaw. Expensive but good quality. I love it. I am 45 and have a v small wardrobe (try to buy stuff that will last). Most of my non-basic non-gym clothes come from jigsaw.

Whatsitbeen · 27/09/2021 07:34

H&M, Tesco, Asda and Sainsburys. I am not a big spender on clothes. I like the odd thing from Joules or Fat Face but tend to get in the sale.

Whatsitbeen · 27/09/2021 07:37

For reference I don't like floral tunics either. My style is fairly boring. Wrap dresses, floaty trousers or jeans and a vest top and cardigan.

bonbonours · 27/09/2021 07:43

Interesting thread. I don't spend much on clothes so a lot of the shops mentioned are out of my price range. I used to always shop in Primark but I went in the other day and found it much too "fashion" and young. I bought some bits from charity shops, and a lovely dress from Peacocks online.

Iampicklerick · 27/09/2021 07:52

I’m 40, size 10/12.

My dress sense has changed a lot as I lost 5 stone last year. I am probably best described as vintage rock chick. Early 90’s is my style at the moment for casual, I shop in h&m, new look, all saints, M&S. DM boots.

For work i am usually in a tea dress and boots, or a jumpsuit with heels : Oasis, Boden, Apricot, H&M, Monsoon.

People can’t usually believe my age but I think maybe I’m at the last knockings of being able to dress like this.

Iampicklerick · 27/09/2021 07:53

Also all the bigger names I listed are off EBay. However I understand that losing weight has contributed to how easy it is to find things on eBay/depop x

PurpleDaisies · 27/09/2021 08:06

I miss Oasis and Warehouse. I know you can get them online but it’s not the same. I agree with M and S for some basics, I get a fair bit in Sainsbury’s too.

Billandben444 · 27/09/2021 08:44

I'm amazed when women your age still do the majority of your shopping in person.
At least you're keeping white van man in business.

Bluesheep8 · 27/09/2021 09:35

Charity shops
Supermarkets
Independent boutiques.
And I ALWAYS shop in person.

brittleheadgirl · 27/09/2021 09:38

Wherever I want to shop?
I HATE this idea that I'm expected to dress for 'my age' and find it depressing that these sort of threads are a regular thing.
No thanks, I'm still wearing dresses that I wore when I was teenager and I'm 50. I will continue to do so indefinitely and see no reason to stop?

batmanladybird · 28/09/2021 20:28

@ShrikeAttack

I comment on these threads quite a bit *@NoEffingWay*, not to advise people where to shop , but to ask them,

'What do you want to look like?'

That's your first question really. No point asking where to shop if you don't know what you're trying to achieve.

So.

What do YOU want to look like?

This is such a good question. I don't even know. I have looked Mumsy for so long. Hmm
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