Things that make you incandescent that you know are unreasonable

[nightlarking]

I'll start;

People being hellishly "loud" around the napping baby when actually they are not being particularly noisy/behaving perfectly reasonably.

People using the palm of their hand to turn the driving wheel (especially when reversing) Have no idea why it angers me so much but it does 🤬

Talking about feeling guilty for eating delicious food (that happens to be high on calories) just enjoy it

@Chunkymenrock

Your and you're being used interchangeably. You're is used when YOU ARE is meant and your is used to refer to something you have/own. Completely different words.

There their they’re, calm down

People who make a clacking/clicking noise with their mouth when speaking. It makes me want to tape them up or ram a ball of socks in there to stop the noise. If you can't speak without that stomach churning clack/click then just write it down and pass me a note.
Phew, glad to get that load off.

@lemonyfox

The radio! Any radio channel, any presenter, any time. There's something about listening (but not seeing) someone prattle on about utter bollocks in between playing the same songs over and over again that irritates me beyond all reasoning. I'd ban radio stations if I could.

Millions of daily listeners tells me I'm in the minority and being unreasonable though!

I completely agree. DH loves listening to presenters talk inane crap on the radio and it drives me insane. Phone ins are the worst, there was one about plastic hedges a few weeks ago.

When DP swoops in on the sink to rinse something as soon as I've stepped away from it with the intention to get something and immediately return to the sink. Yes he's allowed to use the sink, no he doesn't have to ask, but can't he bloody see that I'm busy and will be straight back there in a second?

Hot air balloons

When TV news spends valuable time asking random members on the public what they think about something. That's not news! Give me facts and analysis!

Christmas foods appearing in the shops is September. I'm bubbling with rage.

@LaBellina

I hate it when I am eating my lunch at the kitchen table and DH is hanging around in the kitchen, doing stuff and walking past my back. I know it’s unreasonable but it gives me the rage and I just want to say fuck off and let me eat in peace. DH knows it’s my pet peeve. Instead I ask him: can I help you? and he takes the hint and leaves the kitchen to do something else in another room.

Gah! Yes! My DP knows this fucks me off. The faffing, wandering and even worse talking.

He also does this thing where he gets in the pissing way when I am cooking a meal, preparing a snack for himself. He did it earlier, making a big old sandwich, using the entire kitchen worktops, hob, many utensils, in and out of the fridge. I started to prepare DS's dinner. He actually said to me 'Isn't it uncanny that you come out here when I'm here?' . Ummmmm. 'Not really, it's 7pm, DS is at work and needs picking up at 8. He'll need dinner. YOU have been shuffling around in your dressing gown all day. Get out of the way'. Ffs.

Loud eaters. It makes me feel murderous. As do people fiddling of, stroking their hair, chewing gum, jiggling their feet/legs

Anyone who sticks their tongue out in photos. I've got a friend who cannot just smile when a camera is pointed at her. She has to stick her tongue out so you can see her tonsils, or stick the tip and screw her face up or grin cheekily with her tongue between her teeth. Oh my god it's rude and disgusting just put it away it makes me want to scream

Children screaming. I have 3 DC - teens/ pre teens and I have NOT forgotten how hard the baby/ toddler stage is but if I hear a baby incessantly crying I become murderous. FFS it's not the wee one's fault or the parents' (usually) buy I just want to say ' Shut the fuck up!' . Same with tantruming/ screaming toddlers. I'm totally unreasonable, I know, and would never say a thing but I feel like it.

Radio presenters doing requests who say ‘This is for Mary, who is 70 years young today!’ like the word ‘old’ is too terrible to be pronounced and Mary will fall down dead if it is.

People who emit strange exclamations when they sneeze — my mother produces a high-pitched ‘Heck-CHOO!’

Comedy hairdresser names like Krazy Kuts and Curl Up’n Dye.

People who say ‘I gifted’ or ‘I popped’. Even worse, ‘ I popped to the shops.’

People who "waylay" me in the garden (usually neighbours) wanting something. Now I mostly wait until after dark to go out as they are less likley to see me. They must think Im a vampire.

Asking DH to grab something in the supermarket and waiting for him at the end of the aisle, watching as he takes a fucking age to pick up the item right in front of him!

Asking for dinner suggestions for the week and getting a resounding “ummm” for the last 20 years. Me continuing to ask is the exact definition of insanity.

DS waiting for me to start cooking dinner before announcing he needs a poo on the potty (and thus help with his trousers, an audience to describe the process to and applause at the end). I’m happy he’s using the potty, the timing gives me the rage.

Neighbours slamming all of their car doors repeatedly. There’s 3 of them, why do I hear 5 doors shutting?!

I'm back.

Police people when they are being interviewed saying "we would urge the public'

Fgs just say "We urge" the "would" is utterly unnecessary.

As is "global pandemic" it's obviously fucking global

And finally if you're telling me my train is cancelled it "may not cause me inconvenience" it "will"

People who shuffle, munch loudly, bring very noisy rustly sweets, talk, make loud comments, go on phones, sing, sigh, snore, get up and down constantly in theatres and cinemas.

Just be quiet, sit still and listen to the show / film.

Any kind of talk between tunes on the radio. It's always inane, boring crap. Tell me what the last song was and what you're playing next and then get on with it!

@lemonyfox

The radio! Any radio channel, any presenter, any time. There's something about listening (but not seeing) someone prattle on about utter bollocks in between playing the same songs over and over again that irritates me beyond all reasoning. I'd ban radio stations if I could.

Millions of daily listeners tells me I'm in the minority and being unreasonable though!

Oh yes, Steve Wright. Enough said 🤬

My husband coming shopping with me and moving every single time I move, even an inch, following behind me. Graaaaaaahhhhhh! Just let me browse. Stand at the end of the aisle if need be but stop acting like you're attached to me with invisible thread!

Slow walkers. I see that sometimes they're old, and often with sticks, but it pains me to walk slow and I don't have the patience. It's easy enough to walk around them, but it's an annoyance and they should just move quicker.

Out for lunch, DH never finishes his plate but then always has the audacity to offer me the remaining bits. It drives me incandescent. He needs to offer it before he starts eating. Unbelievable behaviour.

DH eating toast over the sink, his other elbow on his hip, super pointy. I have to leave the kitchen.

The neighbours dog. I can't even begin.

People interrupting on Teams calls. WTAF fuckity fuck.

The way that Ainsley Harriot puts seasoning on food with one outstretched arm and hand, while making a performance of having his other arm stretched out behind him, like he's a massive teapot.

It doesn't affect my life, but it bothers me.

And what @EineReiseDurchDieZeit said about posters clumsily referencing a couple of old moderately amusing threads like it automatically makes them the reincarnation of Dorothy Parker.

People who "jump", "grab" and "pop". As in jump on the bus, grab a sandwich, pop things in the oven. Just do those things like normal people. Plus, have you ever actually seen anyone jump on a bus?