Grown up children are very different to us

[chaingario]

We have two grown up kids, one is a doctor and the other one is a lawyer. The doctor is smart and down to earth. But our other son, the lawyer, has always been “different”. We think he’s probably autistic.

He got great grades in school and got an unconditional offer to Cambridge for law. After this he went to work in San Francisco and London as a lawyer.

Both dh and I have managerial jobs at the council but we live in a very deprived village up in the north east.

Anytime the lawyer son (DS2) comes back, he says he feels out of place. His friendship group are all high flyers and so coming home is a shock to the system. I think he looks down on those around him as being a bit thick. Obviously he is very well paid so his perception of money and ‘normal’ is very different to ours. He has very high standards.

Have anyone else got kids who live very different lives to their parents?

@chaingario

Sounds like it’s a fairly common feeling to hold.

He says he could never live here as people are too prejudiced. His wife is from Cameroon.

I'm like your son. I'm very ambitious, moved half way across the world, very focused on climbing the ladder and making bank. My parents did the same jobs for 30 years, rarely leave their quiet suburbs and go on holiday to the same place over and over again. They like the quiet life and that's fine! Good for them, not for me.

HOWEVER, my husband is Jewish and the low level prejudice is appalling. From them and their friends. Going home to visit is genuinely really uncomfortable for both of us.

This is a very interesting OP.

So your 'high flying-lawyer-son' has become 'richer' than his parents and you feel he looks down on you because he's no longer comfortable in the probably-racist (based on what you wrote) neighbourhood he grew up in?

Also, what does your 'smart-doctor-son' have to do with the post? You said your children are different but you've only complained about one.

Is the doctor different too?

OP sounds like you raised two great kids. Your son is obviously open minded and isn’t prejudice. He also wants to protect his wife from low level racism which is a lovely trait!

Also, I’m your son. My parents are nothing but proud of my achievements (well, I hope!)