Once you are all adults, how do you do Xmas presents?

[StillMedusa]

I have four children. 3 are now married/ long term partners. Plus my Mum, brother and his wife.
I usually host every Christmas.. not a problem, I enjoy it.
However Christmas has become very expensive re present giving and a bit ridiculous (and stressful!)
Last year we made a list and allocated each person two people to buy for. But as we all have different interests and live all over the UK (plus two abroad) it's tricky.
I still do stockings for them ALL.
I can't keep doing this indefinitely! Plus there is now a (gorgeous) grandchild...
I'm thinking of suggesting we each get one person, and do a stocking for them with a max £50 limit each and then anyone can buy for their partners (and I'll buy for the unattached child as he is never going to have a partner due to special needs)

Any other suggestions gratefully received! I enjoy thinking of nice gifts, but the reality as a poorly paid TA is that I can't afford to keep doing it!

We do secret Santa using www.elfster.com and have a budget of £50 for the adults. We buy for the kids. It works really well in both of our families.

This doesn’t include the children but us adults limit to £20 per person. We have etsy and amazon wish lists. We also have the option to source locally. I’ve made hampers up with local food and treats before.
We do a lucky dip some years with a big sack full of random small presents and it’s been really funny trying to avoid ‘the booby prize’.
It’s actually been way more fun than buying big expensive presents.
And a lot less stressful.

We don't in our family, just getting together is enough and thank god. I obviously grt Xmas present for my nephew as he is only 3 but as adults we just think its a waste of money, just buy what you need when you need it.

Partners do each other's stockings in our family. My siblings and I club together and buy for our mum's stocking. Currently my siblings (as they have 2 kids each and us none) buy for my husband and I, and we buy for their 2 children rather than the adults. Next year it'll probably be them buying for our child, instead of us, as we now have a baby on the way. If it was everyone buying for everyone, it would be too much, and adults are not easy to buy for!

With my family we do £50 budget per couple- me & DH/my sister and her partner/my parents take part.
With DH's family we spend £20-25 on each person - DH's DM + her DH, his Dad, sister & brother (neither his dad or siblings have partners)
We have 2 DC but none of our siblings do. They all buy a present for the kids.
Others we buy for is my grandparents and I'm doing secret Santa with my friends. Think that's everyone

I just do my children. My nieces and nephews don't even bother to say thank you, so no more presents for them. I'd rather spend a bit extra on my DC who are always greatful.

Secret Santa £50 for anyone that is there on the day.

Kids get presents.

We do a secret Santa with a £30 limit. I don’t have parents/grandparents/siblings and only recently acquired a boyfriend so if it were kids only it’d cost me a fortune and I’d get knack all.

We buy gifts for everyone. My sister isn’t currently speaking to me and yet I will be expected to buy her, her DH and kids a gift. Her DH is always pleasant to me but I haven't seen him for ages due to covid and he is a nightmare to buy for. Our parents buy for us as well as the children but for both us and kids we would prefer a few good quality items but unfortunately our parents especially PIL don't agree and lots ends up in the charity shop.

I might go for family hampers for siblings and their spouses to make life easier.

I can see a plan is a good idea but you need to focus on what you will be doing and allow others to make their decision. Whatever you decide you need to communicate it soon.

We do presents for everyone except dh’s and my own siblings. However we do buy for his step siblings as they don’t have dc and both buy for our school so we buy something ‘from them’ and also my sister who doesn’t have dc but buys for my dc.
Basically it’s a massive present buying extravaganza, we both have many siblings and many many more nieces/nephews/godchildren, both of us have 2 sets of parents, step parents so 4 sets of parents to buy for aswell.
It gets expensive. Also buy for some people who aren’t family.
I think last year my list was about 60 people long. Plus we have 3dc of our own.
I don’t think about Christmas shopping until December, throw a fuck tonne of money at it and get it done in 2 weekends, mostly online.
I would like to stop buying most of it but no one else agrees so we just carry on. It’s not the money I resent, we can afford it, it’s the time and energy it takes up, although I do buy mindfully. Although I always think carefully about what the recipient is in to and would like etc it still feels wasteful.

Mum and dad buy for us all - we insist it’s not needed.

I think your plan is good and how I intend to move forward with my own DC. Right now all at home, 2 adults, 1 child, no grandchildren. Siblings team up and buy other sibling, Santa still comes.

We do secret Santa between the adults using a website.

I administrate it, which just means I plug in the numbers and email addresses and make sure that my dad and my my don’t ‘choose’ each other (as they’re not together).

We prefer one decent gift to five stocking sort of things.

DH and I are the same, @SageRosemary, we don’t really want presents at all, especially misguided ones. Last year our Secret Santa’s clubbed together and bought us an Airfryer as a joint present…no idea why, we’ve never expressed an interest in having one! Luckily we could quietly return it and use the money for something else I only really want to buy gifts for my DC nowadays and they’re very good at making Christmas lists to give me ideas! 🤣

For the adults we do a secret santa. I organise the "draw" - which is actually not remotely random as pairing people up is much easier as they get better presents (so two guys both into golf get each other etc).

We also buy for MIL and OMIL. They buy for all the kids (ours and BIL's).
We buy BIL's family a National Trust membership and they buy ours similar rather than individual gifts for the children as there's so many.

DH and I disagree on this. I don’t want to buy for my family unless it’s either a token gift or we’re actually seeing them. DH family is generous, his aunts and uncles buy me gifts (my own aunts don’t bother now I’m an adult). But DH wants to buy and I get so wound up because we end up not being able to afford things we need. Sorry this is unhelpful.

My husband family is much bigger than mine (5 brothers), and must have kids. So one year we suggested just pulling a name and buying for that one person. It didn't fly.
Now I send a big bouquet of Christmas flowers to my in laws, something to each of my stepsons (30s), and spend the most on my kids and my sisters and niece. None of us have partners and my parents are dead, so if we don't buy for each other, we wouldn't get gifts.

It’s taken me years but I have finally got to the point where I don’t buy anything for anyone except kids and they don’t buy me anything. If I get no presents, it’s been a good Christmas. I buy what I want for myself!

My own kids that is- no one else!

I agree, @ClarasZoo, DH and I have zero interest in Christmas presents at this stage in our lives, we buy anything we want for ourselves. Christmas is about relaxing, socializing snd family time for us now. And good food!

Before we all had children on my side when we had partners we used to do secret Santa. But things change in time. We now just buy for the kids. We do the same hubbys side now tho his sisters are more particular with what to get their children so I take ideas from them. It’s so much less stressful. When we go to mums for lunch we take an element of dinner, last year we cooked the Turkey but we only 5 mins so not far to go. Other years we’ve made roast potatoes.

I'd do some secret Santa's.
One for nice gift eg around 30 £ and one charity shop style one.
Or tk max.
I got and gave someone hilarious stuff doing that.