“Get a life” - gives me the rage

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My DD has Tourette’s

Last night we went to our local pub for dinner.

After a while DD noticed that a family at a table near us were staring at her and laughing every time she ticced.

We swapped seats so they were behind her and I was facing them and it stopped. Our food arrived and we were eating and chatting so none of us were really paying attention until I noticed they were mimicking her tics and laughing.

I very calmly got up and spoke to them about it when I got the classic “oh, get a life” - what does it even mean?

Not tolerating someone’s shitty behaviour means I have no life? Calling someone out for their ableism means I’m some boring old fart or something?

Seems to be a standard response from people when they are approached about their behaviour.

It confuses me and gives me the absolute rage - almost as much as the behaviour in the first place, but that’s for another thread.

The staff in the pub intervened and they left shortly after so we ended up having a lovely night, but this kind of shit leaves me annoyed and awake half the night coming up with all the amazing responses I should have said at the time

What arseholes. The fact they were mimicking your DD tells you everything you need to know about them so you don’t even need to think about what they meant by “get a life”. It’s meaningless. They just wanted you to stop them feeling uncomfortable about their own bad behaviour.

Ugh they just sound hateful OP. That is such poor behaviour on their part; to look and stare, but then to mimic - unbelievable! And yes it is a pathetic comeback but they're pathetic so what more would we expect from them. I hope your DC is proud that you stood up to them, and that that group are a rare example of society.

Get a life is what you expect from a 14 year old - which is what it sounds like they were.

They are twats. Hope you still could have a nice time.

It's a stock response used by dimwits who think it's clever - the sort of dimwits who think it's clever to mock a disabled child. Try not to give it any headspace.

It's great that staff intervened so the rest of your evening went well.

If it's any consolation I have no doubt that one day these idiots will mock someone who won't respond in such a civilised manner.

Thank you!

Thankfully she doesn’t experience stuff like this too often.

I think it’s the minimising nature of “get a life” that gives me the rage.

DD gets very embarrassed about this sort of thing so she would have hated me making a fuss. I don’t think she noticed tbh, they were behind her and I was very discreet.

We did have a nice night. She’s 16 so doesn’t usually want to spend her Friday nights with us, but her and her boyfriend came. We stayed for the quiz and it was just nice.

I’m sorry you and your family experienced this. I’m a a lifelong wheelchair user and sadly my experience is people are often dismissive when called out on ableism. I think sometimes it’s due to embarrassment.

Well done for supporting your DD. My friends and family often excuse the ableists I run into “I’m sure they meant well” “don’t let it bother you” type thing.

In this situation I guess 'Get a life' is the best they can come up with. As in, they can't admit they have been dicks but they don't have an explanation for their behaviour.
I'd take it as a 'win' if it happens again (which I really hope you and your family don't have to witness such behaviour again). They had nothing constructive to defend themselves with, so did the classic of trying to make out they weren't at fault.
Some people are idiots.
I'm glad it didn't ruin your evening completely.

That's awful, I'm so sorry that your dd has to deal with such cruel behaviour.

I think "get a life" is usually said by people who can't think of anything better to say. It doesn't really mean anything. You were right to call them out and I hope they felt shit about their behaviour behind the facade.

I agree with you. I've long hated the expression and it's not just that it's misused. I can't really think of a good use for it, since everyone alive has a life, and I'm not sure strangers are well placed to judge the quality of another person's life.

What "get a life!" seems to say is: go do something else besides confronting me about my bad behaviour. Find another interest besides this thing that I don't think is important.

Go right ahead raising the issues that are important to you, and confronting arseholes. If you've thought things through for yourself, and know your values and interests, then just ignore people like this trying to discredit or discourage you.

You rightly called them out on their shitty behaviour . They are going to be defensive
Hope they think twice about it now

Well done for standing up to them. I wouldn't over think their responses - they are at fault in every way - disgusting behaviour in every way. Glad the staff also intervened and you were able to enjoy your family time x