Today’s the birthday of the man who raped me

[Pleasegivemeyourwisdom]

And I’m struggling.

He’ll be celebrating with his loved ones: his wife, his sons. He’s loved. I find that so weird. He hurt me very much. Years of pain.

I’m trying to forget.
It’s not easy.
Just wanted to vent. Hope that’s ok.

Of course it is ok.
Have you had counselling?

You need your power back, OP. I don't know how though.

Oh love, I'm so sorry. What a shit thing for you to deal with (well worse than shit but I can't find the words) is he a relative?, for you to know his birthday? You don't have to answer that if it's intrusive.

He was my partner.

Every time it’s his birthday I shudder. I think because it’s his special day. And each day is my day to fight back…. To health. To strength.

Of course it ok to vent OP, there will be lots of us here who will understand sadly. I looked mine up on Facebook for the first time in ages yesterday and am still thinking about the picture he'd put up of him with his little boy. You're not alone

Isn’t it hard

Gosh sorry OP. What an awful human being he is. I hate for you that he gets to celebrate and be fine.

I read something really comforting once, that abusers and rapists don't actually take anything from us. They don't own our sexuality. I know it sometimes doesn't feel that way, especially not in the darker moments, but I try to hold onto that thought and I find it quite empowering.

You can live your life holding your head up high that you are a good person. You can overcome your trauma and accept it as part of who you are today. You can grow and thrive.

The specimen who did that to you is a piece of dirt, an awful, awful person who should carry the shame of what he did to you.

It's not your shame to carry, OP. I promise you.

I'm sorry this is such a tough day. You deserve happiness and to find peace with your past

You are strong, you are here acknowledging you pain. He doesn’t own You. Be proud of you. You are a survivor!!!

It is hard, it's over 30 years ago for me and still surfaces from time to time. Less and less often over the years though and there's less pain attached each time so I guess it's true to some extent that time heals, even if it doesn't feel like it tonight. Not going anywhere if talking helps, PM if you'd prefer

Thanks all. You’re kind. Xx