homeschooling

[juwayriyyah31]

hi,
just wanted someone to let out to..I've decided to homeschool my children as I felt it was the right thing to do. my husbands family have teaching background. they always question me homeschooling my children. my eldest is introvert and they keep blaming homeschooling for it. while on the other hand my 4 year old is extrovert and stand up for everything and they never bring her in to question. so today I wanted to send a video about advantage of homeschooling and my husband said ,there's no need. they all know this but they just think you are not capable of doing it. I just burst into tears and feel like how do I show them. I do have anxiety issues and feel like am I just insecure about me front of them...background they never wanted me to marry their brother. my husband is very supportive and always stands up for me and compliments me front of them. am just so hurt and tearful right now. am I the issue ?

I think you need to accept they're not going to see your worth and that's ok. You don't need their approval. You know the truth and your husband knows. Trying to get approval from them is only draining to you and makes you look on the wrong end of a power imbalance. Let it go, as hard as that is.

Just acknowledge they are dicks and unkind and judgmental. Don't waste your time and energy on them.

You’re looking for them to validate your choice and it seems unlikely that they will. It is always uncomfortable when people take it upon themselves to do their own “investigations and monitoring” by questioning the children. We have a family member who does it to our children and it makes our children really uncomfortable but we all grin and bear it for the sake of family harmony.

When you choose to do something different from the majority, it’s a fact of life that anything that goes wrong or isn’t to other people’s satisfaction will be blamed on the choice you made. That’s just how people work. You’ll need to develop a thick skin about that.

Assess your provision honestly with your family. Has your child become more introverted? Is it a problem or is it simply them settling into being themselves? Are they happy and content? It is ok to be introverted - lots of people are! If you come to the decision that you need more social groups then just get in touch with your local groups and get out and about a bit more.

I suspect that the family simply don’t approve and you will probably spend less time with them if they cannot restrain themselves from their “inspection” activities.

For whatever reason they disagree with your parenting decision but like every other parenting decision if you and your DH are happy with it then that doesn’t matter.

If it it’s honestly the best decision for both your children as individuals and they are getting plenty of social interaction with peers from home Ed groups and other out of school groups then you need to own your decision and either challenge their rudeness or ignore them.

You don't need their validation. You are unlikely to ever persuade them that this is a good thing.

Maybe they have genuine concerns about your children or maybe they are just being nasty. Ultimately, you're the parents so it is for you to decide what's best for the children. If you are confident that their concerns are unfounded, then there's nothing to worry about.