Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Here’s a supportive arm punch if you don’t have relaxing weekends either

58 replies

tunnocksreturns2019 · 24/09/2021 19:05

I am happy for people feeling “Yay! It’s the weekend!” but weekends are often tough here. DS (ADHD) is already in a state this evening, and I have a range of homework to coax him through on Sat/Sun. I have chores to do I didn’t have time for in the week. And I miss my late DH most at weekends. Other adults may feature on Sunday but not on Saturday, and none of them will be him anyway. DD is generally pretty easy going, but that’s not guaranteed.

So I hope you’re going to have a good weekend - I will be doing my best here - but this thread is here in case you need to offload.

OP posts:
IamJuliaJohnson · 24/09/2021 22:56

Oh he probably will. And then will go on at length about how easy it is. But he’s not trying to work, sort dinner, potter around the house etc. And I will be here. One of the things I find most difficult is that they need 1:1 time for reading etc, so screen time is a necessary part of that too.

Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 24/09/2021 22:57

Ah lovely to hear, tootiredtospeak!

DS is particularly anxious at the moment and had an awful year 7 at school. He’s starting to find his feet a little now but I need to harangue the NHS into letting him trial ADHD meds I think.

I find it really hard being so intensely available 6.30am-10.30pm - and then on call, really - without a co parent to share the mental load. I’m used to working plus running the household alone now, that’s fine.

We do have some lovely times. My, it’s tiring though!

OP posts:
RogueV · 24/09/2021 22:58

Oh wow. I’ve just spotted your name. Is that you tunnocks? THE tunnocks?

You sound like you are doing amazing.
I hope your weekend goes smoothly Flowers

Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 24/09/2021 22:58

@IamJuliaJohnson

Oh he probably will. And then will go on at length about how easy it is. But he’s not trying to work, sort dinner, potter around the house etc. And I will be here. One of the things I find most difficult is that they need 1:1 time for reading etc, so screen time is a necessary part of that too.
Yes I get that. Screens definitely have their place.
OP posts:
Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 24/09/2021 23:03

@RogueV

Oh wow. I’ve just spotted your name. Is that you tunnocks? THE tunnocks?

You sound like you are doing amazing.
I hope your weekend goes smoothly Flowers

Haha yes it’s me! Nearly five years widowed now. You’d think I’d have got the hang of it by now but no, not really Hmm

As an update: I have big grown-up sized tantrums regularly but I also write out cat jokes and put them in my daughter’s snack for break. I say things I don’t mean by accident too often but I still read aloud to the DC every single night.

I have started writing A Thing but I’m only 5000 words in. But just doing it is making me feel a bit more like me.

I’m very tired. So tired. But occasionally hopeful.

OP posts:
PurpleSweetPeas · 24/09/2021 23:11

Ah @tunnocksreturns2019, it's lovely to see you post even if it's because things seem a bit much right now.
Hang on in there and enjoy the 🍫

RogueV · 24/09/2021 23:18

Tunnocks 🙂
Your posts have always made me Smile

I remember you all those years ago and tonight is the first time I’ve spotted you again. I’ve just had a quick gander at some of your latest posts…I’m going to say it again. You’re doing amazing, I am nowhere near as eloquent as you

Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 25/09/2021 10:06

RogueV thank you!

Hope any ‘tough weekenders’ have had a reasonable start to the day.

Everyone up here at 8.30am, got both DC to strip their beds and washing has begun. It’s a little too log since they were last done…the dishwasher is emptied, the litter tray is sorted and the breadmaker is making pizza dough for tonight.

DD is downstairs giving eleven bears porridge in different bowls with different toppings - grateful to have a good-sized dishwasher Grin

DS is watching experiments on YouTube which will likely turn into a project later…another reason why weekends are not relaxing as these often go wrong or we don’t have the stuff or expertise, and that way meltdown lies. DS reached out to a friend to see if he wanted to hang out but he has Fortnite commitments with another child apparently - DS isn’t interested in gaming or football which reduces his circle of mates at the moment.

But a neighbour is having a cake sale later and some of both DCs friends will probably be there. Need to get DS to do his homework before that though, so there’s a reasonable chance we won’t make it. Homework takes a long time when about half an hour’s ranting has to be done first about how unfair it all is that homework even exists HmmWineGrin

Have a decent day, everyone

OP posts:
MoiraNotRuby · 25/09/2021 10:13

What a fantastic thread. Thank you. I have so much to do that so far I have done nothing but lie in bed eating chocolate. Time to get up and on with it all.

MitheringMytryl · 25/09/2021 10:22

I have a sick baby and a sick toddler, and I am also sick. Barely slept in the last week and they are both crying most of the time. DH has no sick leave or annual leave left because our eldest daughter was hospitalised for a month earlier this year which just so happened to coincide with me giving birth and it going wrong and me needing to be in ICU, so he used up all of his leave staying in hospital with our eldest. We're immigrants and because of covid no family was able to fly over and help.

DH is a shift worker who works most days. I am very fucking tired and my days are no different regardless of whether or not it's the weekend.

Feels nice to get that off my chest.

Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 25/09/2021 10:22

@MoiraNotRuby

What a fantastic thread. Thank you. I have so much to do that so far I have done nothing but lie in bed eating chocolate. Time to get up and on with it all.
That sounds like a great start to the weekend! Go and do some of those things, and report back. You can do it!
OP posts:
SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 25/09/2021 10:45

Aaargh, @MitheringMytryl - what a perfect storm of total shitness. I hope things get better for you very soon. Does your DH get (unpaid) dependent leave he could use?

All is calm here. DP had taken (an extremely unwilling) DD off to respite, so we have a couple of hours to catch up with ourselves before it all starts again.

MitheringMytryl · 25/09/2021 11:12

You know, I think just writing that post has made it a bit better, and you replying to it Smile

He can take unpaid leave but we can't afford it right now. But this virus can't go on forever! Any day now I'm sure we'll start to feel better. It's definitely not covid, we got tested, and it's not bad enough to be the flu. Whatever it is will end eventually.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 25/09/2021 11:38

As I often say to myself, this day can only last 24 hours… I hope you’re all feeling much better soon.

MitheringMytryl · 25/09/2021 12:19

Thank you, I'll remember that one Smile

Nhytfdetykbcz · 25/09/2021 12:25

Yes mine aren't relaxing at all with similar issues to your own. No rest at all. The old saying goes 'if your going through hell, keep going'.

OldTinHat · 25/09/2021 12:31

At least you all have families around you, however annoying they may be! I'm divorced, DC left home three years ago, I live nowhere near family, have mobility and MH issues so off work and have been for a long time, my weekend is the same as every other day. Relentless and too long. I cry a lot most days. I'd love to live in a busy home with arguments and family - guess we always want what we don't have.

Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 25/09/2021 12:40

@MitheringMytryl

You know, I think just writing that post has made it a bit better, and you replying to it Smile

He can take unpaid leave but we can't afford it right now. But this virus can't go on forever! Any day now I'm sure we'll start to feel better. It's definitely not covid, we got tested, and it's not bad enough to be the flu. Whatever it is will end eventually.

Really hope you all get well soon.

Sending Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 25/09/2021 12:43

@OldTinHat

At least you all have families around you, however annoying they may be! I'm divorced, DC left home three years ago, I live nowhere near family, have mobility and MH issues so off work and have been for a long time, my weekend is the same as every other day. Relentless and too long. I cry a lot most days. I'd love to live in a busy home with arguments and family - guess we always want what we don't have.
FlowersFlowers so sorry. Hope you can do something nice for yourself today.

Things have been going badly here since about 10am. I can’t parent DS effectively without DH. Weekends would be totally different if he was alive and it’s so hard to come to terms with, even now. I’m so lonely today.

OP posts:
IamJuliaJohnson · 25/09/2021 13:13

@tunnocksreturns2019 that sounds so hard and I’m sorry that is your reality.

A gentle Saturday here. Some household chores, just about to put the 4th load of washing on. Took the youngest to the local high street to faff around in the library and get some milk etc. He screamed all the way there because I didn’t take the car. Came home to do some cooking, halfway through stew assembly realised we didn’t have some niche exotic ingredient so back to the high street I go.

Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 25/09/2021 17:41

IamJuliaJohnson stew sounds lovely.

Our day picked up a bit. We played some board games and DS made some mint choc chip fudge; it’s (hopefully) setting now. Got to get the fresh linen back on the beds and actually make the pizzas now. Then a film I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 25/09/2021 17:42

We did go out for a bit of a walk which helped too.

OP posts:
IamJuliaJohnson · 25/09/2021 17:48

It’s a Persian lamb and split pea stew with dried limes. One I’ve made many many times but the time to realise that the dried limes are finished is ideally not mid-cooking Grin

UpintNorth · 25/09/2021 18:06

Love this thread. That is all.

Original poster
tunnocksreturns2019 · 25/09/2021 18:16

@IamJuliaJohnson

It’s a Persian lamb and split pea stew with dried limes. One I’ve made many many times but the time to realise that the dried limes are finished is ideally not mid-cooking Grin
Is this the moment to admit I hate lamb? Grin I bet it is fantastic though! For lamb fans, I mean!
OP posts: