Just discovered cuts on teen dc

[Justdiscovered]

Teen dc has mostly been a happy go lucky, easy going child. Slight love of friendships drama but that’s about as serious as it has gotten.
We’re the most boring, average family who got through lockdown quite well and generally just tick along.
I have no idea where this unhappiness is coming from and I’m terrified. Just noticed last week or so.
I can’t concentrate on anything and I’m scared of leaving her bone in her own I’m so upset it has literally come light a bolt of the blue

If you are home and she feels the need to cut she’ll do it in private somehow. The trick is helping her to find out where the need comes from and figuring out how else to meet the need x

I did as a teenager, never ever felt like it once I left school, looking back it was a stupid teenage stage I’d have been embarrassed if my family knew and would have stopped straight away I think. I’m not sure how you find out how serious she takes it just want to reassure you that it can be a silly phase that could be grown out of.

Hi @Justdiscovered if your daughter is aged 13 upwards this programme might help, it's run nationally. If you google Mind and Body Programme and your locality i.e. Sussex you should get results. This is the programme that CAMHS in my area would signpost someone like your daughter if what you have said is the full picture, mental health wise.

www.fusionhlc.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/MAB_KentProfessionalsGuide-1.pdf

Hello - didn’t want to read & run I genuinely help this is helpful and comforting. I was your DC 10 years ago at age 18. I received therapy for a year and then now at 28 I am happily married with 2 children and am a completely different person. Teenage years are a hard time and I had an incredibly tough year at 18 but after the therapy and lots of support I got through it and have never gone back 🤍

It's a coping strategy for her, so when you feel able one way to approach it is to talk with her about other things that help her cope. She is trying to manage things that feel overwhelming, she is looking for ways to do that.

Cutting is one of many coping strategies that can seem a solution in the short term but can become a bigger issue themselves in the long run - like alcohol, smoking etc.

Perhaps get some support for yourself so you can be calm and confident around her with this, it is extremely distressing to see a child you love hurt themselves.

But seeing how common it is, and that it's a way of coping, might help her find an alternative outlet (some people with very little cutting as a habit find an elastic band on the wrist helps, they ping it hard when the urge to cut comes and it can ease it) some people find intense exercise a good release.

And if you're supported you can have the calmness to be there without judgement and without your fear overwhelming her too.

Thank you all for your kindness. It’s only because of coming on this thread that I am able to maintain calm around her.
I am entitled to some counselling at work so have a phone all lined up for Monday, and I’ve messaged the school.
Thank you xx