Hi all. A tricky one and I'm reaching out desperately with tears thinking of protecting my baby girl. So my child has just started school and is learning to read and write, she recognises her used second name now. However legal name isnt the "known as" name. So friends, family, teachers etc call her the name she is known as. Legal name is after "dad" who has not been present in her life since she was 1 due to being a drug addict I had to cut the ties before it effected her as he was already letting her down massively, he doesn't provide maintainence either. He has done random bank transfers of £70 all in all in 2 and a half years when trying to change his life around. I hate to say it but he always fails and it's always empty promises. Last time he was getting clean I had civilised contact with him (not the child, she doesnt remember him so thought it would be unfair to her to disrupt her peace for something I wasnt certain was going to last) and he lasted 6 months. During the 6 months he sent me a love song and told me he still had feelings for me. I'm sharing this to give you some kind of insight to the type of guy he is. I told him the contact was not about me, I was only keeping in contact so I knew I wasnt standing in the way of any chance of my daughter having a relationship with her "dad". Not long after this communication dropped, he moved out of his rehab centre and it came common knowledge to me he was back using again when I asked for new address to apply for csa he could not give me one. Now my daughter is in school, her legal name will be on official documents so I'm presuming year 2 SATS? (Please correct me if I'm wrong!) And this is going to cause confusion for her. She doesnt remember her "dad" as sad as it is so she doesnt remember the legal name. When I reached out to him and explained this was only to save her any confusion in the future and wouldn't interfere with him as long as there was a massive change for a consistent long time. His pride and ego got the best of him and refused it and told me he was going to see his lawyer (3 months on, still nothing) I had to block his number again as his attitude wasnt on. The lad caused a lot of hurt in the past and is a lot older then me, I was willing to be civil if it brought D the best outcome but he proved once again, it would not. It seems it's not just the drug use but also the attitude towards parenting such as not putting her feelings first and trying to understand from an empathetic view the confusion it could cause. He likes to have his own way but like I say he has been an absent parent for nearly 3 years now with very little effort made to try and see D. So sorry for the long rant before my actual question I'm lay here feeling all my emotions at once and angry at how hard it is to do a name change but so easy to abandon a child and not provide for them! So my question is, how would I go about a name change without things getting ugly? Surely I have some kind of case here? I know what it states legally but is he classed as an absent parent!? I would say so.. I've waited patiently for him to step up abit, I've not kicked up a fuss, I've just made sure my daughter is happy and not being confused.. I dont want something that's wrote on a piece of paper to end that. Why should a child have to bear the name of someone who doesn't care about her only when it suits him? Please be kind with comments it took a lot for me to share this and I thank you all in advance 🧡