Year 2 child disengaged from learning

[mintdream]

Reposting from Primary Education as no responses:

DS(6) has become increasingly negative about school in the past week or two, saying he doesn’t want to go and the work is too hard. This morning he was very down and I have to say he has lost his spark and enthusiasm for school almost completely.

We are already aware he is very behind in phonics due to his refusal to engage until about 6 months ago. In Maths he was only slightly behind in but this gap has widened even in the 3 weeks since school started.

I mentioned his attitude to his teacher this morning and she said he is sitting at a table with some other children with a TA for phonics and maths each day, as when all these children are sent off to do independent learning they will just sit there and do nothing. Obviously the TA must be spread across the whole class so I can’t imagine he gets individual attention for long (and nor should he), probably just to get him going with the work. Today his teacher told me that she had a chat with him and he told he doesn’t want to do any work, he just wants to play. In the last week when he comes out of class to me he just looks dejected and sad.

I’m having a 10 minute meeting with his teacher next week but is there any questions I should ask her to help him re-engage with learning? His teacher said she also doesn’t want him becoming dependent on having individual support constantly when the other pupils are doing what they are asked ok.

This attitude is new behaviour, as aside from refusing to learn to read up until about 6 months ago, he has always tried his best according to previous teachers and his Y1 report.

DS suffered a lot emotionally during the lockdowns, as being an only child the total isolation was crippling, and I can see my child slipping back to like he was then sad

Personally I'd suggest a simple and visual motivator like a star chart for making an attempt at work.

Maybe ask the teacher if you can have a shared diary so you know how each day is going.

I'd want everyone to be really over the top with praise for any work he does.

Hi op, as an aside didn't he play computer games with friends during lock down?
It really helped my dd to start reading..

Re learning you need to act fast before his falling behind gets worse.

Can you get flash cards, once dc who are behind can learn the first 100 high frequency words.. It gives them confidence.
Also because they don't have to trudge through a whole sentence it gives them a boost.
I'd then try Peter and Jane books, an amazing tip given to me in here because they can read whole books and again feel accomplished.

Next I'd get some visual aid stuff to help with spelling like magnet letters, form them into an alphabet rainbow.

So he can see the alphabet and letters in context.
Make sure he knows his alphabet.
Phonics has become a cult unfortunately, it does not work for all children. It would have definitely have been a barrier to me to learn to read.

Never ever play down how much help he may need eg when you said.. Nor should he.
For all you know he may need an ehcp and a 1:1 to support him in class.

It's vital you get in now - as you are - to get the wheels turning and help him.
I'd also invest in tutor if you can because it's likely he has not picked up some basics and would benefit from 1:1 support to get him going and keep him up with the class.

Just did second post and it seems to have gone.

It said I find the comment about the teacher not wanting him to rely on individual support challenging.
Because you don't know what's wrong yet, he may have severe dyslexia, he may have another eye issue, that a simple NHS test won't throw up! How can she possibly make statements about him rely on help when no one yet knows what is wrong?

@Autumngoldleaf

Just did second post and it seems to have gone.

It said I find the comment about the teacher not wanting him to rely on individual support challenging.
Because you don't know what's wrong yet, he may have severe dyslexia, he may have another eye issue, that a simple NHS test won't throw up! How can she possibly make statements about him rely on help when no one yet knows what is wrong?

Absolutely. That was my thought entirely!

Why is she talking about him not having individual support when what they are doing isn't even working yet! He's not reliant on the TA, it sounds like that's not the only strategy that needs to be employed.

He's only 6. Learning should be fun for him. I would be asking the school what else they can do to try to engage him in school and discuss strategies and support for home too. There are some great ideas on this thread. I found that (over many years of trial and lots of error!) when dealing with the school (I have a son who has ASD and ADHD), you need to be calm but insistent and constantly following up. Come up and research your own ideas, don't always expect them to bring ideas to help table. And try to establish "we are working on this together" approach rather than it being all on you, or all on them, or expecting them (as the professionals you like go to well expect this!) to take the lead ime you need to do a lot of the work!

I would also be exploring whether there are other issues going on. Get his eyesight and possibly hearing checked. And maybe think about an educational psychologist assessment. The school should be able to arrange this if you can get them on board or you can get this done privately if affordable.

I would try to get things moving quickly. Children can very quickly get put off education altogether.

Simple star chart with rewards is a great idea although the teacher may well already have done this. You need to back this up at home with rewards for completing his work. Reading is the gateway to the curriculum so I would be sitting with him to work on phonics daily and reading to him. Reward him for doing this at home without any moaning.

It sounds like by putting him on a table with the TA, the teacher is ensuring he has access to some 1:1 support when needed but she also wants him to engage and try independently too when he can.

Op how did the meeting go? @mintdream

@Autumngoldleaf the meeting is next Thursday, sorry for the confusion.

We are going to write a list of questions to cover with the teacher. I’m getting increasingly annoyed with how this ‘perfect storm’ of lockdowns and DS’ previous refusal to engage with phonics/reading has led to him being so behind.

Oh sorry I thought it was today!

You do understand his "refusal" to engage with phonics does mean it could be because he has dyslexia or apd or any number of sen that means he "Can't" engage with phonics?

It's not his fault... At. All.

What are you annoyed about?
I would be concerned that he is refusing to learn to read. I think you need to think of a way to incentivise him to work harder at s hool. Tokens towards a reward of some kind maybe plus some practice at home.

Cansu what if he has literacy issues? How on earth will trying harder fix a tracking or focus problems or make words sit still on the page

I’m sending very best wishes your way OP. I would recommend DoodleMaths - there are other packages too.

Slow and steady, keep up the drawing/writing. Daily reading of a short book and you reading for fun.

Get him socialising (doing group karate/sport or anything that he enjoys in a group/learning to cycle/Lego building) outside of school. Swimming too - if you can - although not v social.

Sorry he has had such a tough year.

I’d start with the basics. Trip to GP, vision check, hearing etc. then look at eye hand coordination and physical fitness. All the while assessing his nutrition and sleep patterns.