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Tinder date gone cold?

13 replies

MargaretMorris · 21/09/2021 23:27

Matched with a guy who sent me a message & was complimentary on my personality as opposed to the lewd messages I've had from a lot of men. He then tried to make me laugh which fell a bit flat and I forgot to reply!

But then I found myself randomly thinking about him one day & when I checked the app he had popped back up 6 days later saying he'd like the chance to get to know me better in person at a time that suits me if I'm open to it. Overall, it was very sweet and I agreed. Reading his profile again, I realised how closely his description of himself sounded like what I'm looking for.

He asked when would suit me and this is when I clarified that he lives in the next city over, an hour apart. This is no secret - it clearly says on both our profiles where we live. I said I could meet him when I'm there for work/suggested a day and he hasn't replied for over 24 hours which is unusual.

I personally think this isn't a good sign & think maybe he has got cold feet because of the distance? I forgot how maddening it was waiting for replies and was getting excited about the thought of meeting him!

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CloseYourEyesAndSee · 21/09/2021 23:27

It's just a tinder match. Most of them don't go anywhere. Don't get so invested.

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MargaretMorris · 21/09/2021 23:30

It is the fact he felt enough of a connection to contact me again nearly a week after I hadn't replied and I'd been thinking about him too, to my surprise. I'll admit I came off very cool up until the point I finally agreed to meet.

I know, I'm brand new to this. Just seems strange to be so keen one minute and go radio silent the next.

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hufffflufff · 21/09/2021 23:32

typical online dating! Until you're meeting in flesh try not to invest.

I hate OLD. that's why I don't do it.

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MargaretMorris · 21/09/2021 23:36

honestly @hufffflufff I've been on the app for a week and I'm about ready to come off it!

The only possible good scenario is I asked him to meet a specific day at the weekend so maybe he can't give me an instant reply. Dubious though I think when you are planning the date is the exciting part!

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CloseYourEyesAndSee · 21/09/2021 23:37

I know, I'm brand new to this. Just seems strange to be so keen one minute and go radio silent the next.

This happens ALL THE TIME with online dating. All the time. Don't invest in anybody until after you've met at the very least.

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CrapAtThis · 21/09/2021 23:38

He’s not replied for one day. You didn’t reply for six days. Then he had to double message you. After that, how long was it till you checked the app? I’m not quite sure of the timeline.

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MargaretMorris · 21/09/2021 23:41

@CrapAtThis

He’s not replied for one day. You didn’t reply for six days. Then he had to double message you. After that, how long was it till you checked the app? I’m not quite sure of the timeline.

I replied the next day @CrapAtThis. He got back to me again quickly asking what day would suit, I replied again same day.

So more than a day later it is a drop off and almost as though he didn't read my profile properly to realise I live in the next city over. That said, maybe he is playing it cool to 'match' my pace. I've maybe played it a bit cool tbh but if he doesn't respond I guess this date isn't meant to be anyway!

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MargaretMorris · 22/09/2021 22:33

I was being overly anxious. He reappeared to arrange the date and said he'd been snowed under with work but was off now - he is back to being chatty again.

Anyway I am not enjoying the app overall and want to give him my number ahead of the date so we can finish up the final details by phone/so I don't have to keep logging on to it. Is that normal practice? I have a good feeling about him so I don't think it would be a bad thing to give him it really.

And there's always the block function...

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avamiah · 22/09/2021 22:42

It’s only a day he hasn’t replied for he may be busy.
Give him time .

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Peach01 · 23/09/2021 00:27

Try to put it in perspective that you don't know him yet, don't know his schedule or what he's like as a person.
Don't overthink the bio, they're not going to put on there "I'm having unprotected sex with 5 different and I have an incredibly short fuse"

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Peach01 · 23/09/2021 00:27

^women

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CloseYourEyesAndSee · 23/09/2021 06:32

Yes it's fine and normal to give your number and communicate off app

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MargaretMorris · 23/09/2021 08:50

Thanks @CloseYourEyesAndSee

@Peach01 imagine Tinder bios rewritten to reflect reality. A scary thought!