Sorry really long post, your going to hate me but need advice and no one else i can speak to! Been with my OH for 8 years,married 2..i feel i have met my soul mate, he is perfect in every way,great husband,great dad, old fashioned prefers me to stay at home while he earns, does anything to cheer me up, buys me gifts, always makes sure he tells me im beautiful and sexy even at my worst, always tells me he loves me, even when hes at work he texts me from morning till the time he finishes even ringing on his break, takes care of me when im poorly as i have health problems,he is absolutly perfect, the problem is me! I WAS paranoid,jealous so so bad when we first met,up untill about 3-4 years ago, he nearly had a breakdown, i knew it was either stop and accept he wasnt going to ever hurt me or lose him, and i couldnt lose him at all, my past boyfriends treated me so badly and he knows they knocked every bit of confidence i have, problem is as much as i try and be the perfect wife, ironing his clothes,getting up 10 mins earlier so he has his breakfast and coffee waiting for him, make sure he has a bath ran as soon as hes in from work,his tea cooked soon as hes out the bath,compliment him,make sure he has what he needs etc, i still cant let go of the past and how badly i treated him, i also over think the future to like if we split would he actually find his true soul mate etc realise i was a bad bad mistake, i still infuritiate him and im scared that one day he will realise hes to good for me and walk, hes so so laid back he says he dont think about the past or the future he lives for today and always says it is what it is and the past is the past, i cant look forward to the future becase i always assume hes just going to leave,i overthink the past to. P.s i know he should of walked i told him loads but he wont,Someone give me advice!