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Relationship with my mum

3 replies

Doidoit24 · 21/09/2021 17:39

Hi all I’m writing this upset. So my mum is the most caring mum bringing us up. She is with a man who is coercive and just in general not a nice man but is quite powerful financially. She has been with him for 24 years. Over the last 2 years I haven’t spoke to him as just really horrible to my mum. I have tried to offer her a place but she loves him. He basically won’t let her see me as I had fallen out with him. So over 2 years I have barely spoken to my mum. In June I was really low depressed anxiety so bad and was off sick for 10 weeks. I just wanted my mum. I expressed to her I message that I feel like I’m grieving constantly for her and said I can’t keep feeling that way so I would have to not be in that relationship as it makes me so sad when I can’t speak to her when I need her. Anyway today she visited after 4 months of not speaking to say happy birthday to my eldest son. I got immediately upset asked if she felt awkward and she said yes. I got upset and left my house as I was to upset. I asked my sister to let me know in advance that they visiting my son so I could be out as I didn’t want to get upset and feel the way I did previously. She stayed 10 mins and left. No emotion nothing I feel from her and just received a message to say she has no time for herself basically let alone me. I feel so upset haven’t stopped crying and feel this is it. Has anyone else felt grieving feeling to something like this. Is this normal

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 21/09/2021 18:32

Sorry, that sounds like a really horrible thing to experience.

Underamour · 21/09/2021 18:36

We expect our mums to be loving, caring and understanding. We need our mums at all ages. It’s very hard to understand how they can detach emotionally and just not care. The answer here is probably that she’s abused and so used to hurt and pain that she’s learnt to distance herself emotionally. I am sure that she still loves you.

Doidoit24 · 21/09/2021 19:05

I think your right definitely more detached I have my auntie coming tomorrow so I can speak with her and they’re very close. Definitely down trodden my mum.

OP posts:
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