Bunch of 9yos at a sleepover - how much grown up input will they need?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

I'm biting the bullet on the first sleepover and having dd plus 5 friends round in October. I've resigned myself to the fact that sleepover is a misnomer, and that we will all be tired the next day.

My concern is - how active a participant will I need to be on the day of? They are all coming round at 3pm.

Is it usual that they will just go off to dd room and hang out/play? Or will there be an expectation that I host some games or activities? Dd herself has said her main concern is that people may get bored (she's never really had much opportunity for hosting school friends due to going to a childminder after school, then covid hit etc).

That's quite early tbh. I'd have gone for a 6pm start. With an hour of play in room, then take away pizza, then a run around the garden/long walk in the dark outside to try and fire them out a little, then settle down to film and popcorn, followed by chat and lights out at midnight.

I think you need to sort some activities...only a couple...maybe some crafts or ice cream sundae or pizza making

That’s a very early start for a sleepover. Can you change it to 6?
My DD had one for her 8th birthday. It was the first time some of the kids had slept out so they needed a bit of reassurance and reminding to put pjs on and brush teeth. One got upset and needed a cuddle from me and a quick FaceTime with her parents. I had planned for them to watch ET (approved by all the parents) but one decided it was too scary so they all had a big argument until we could find something to suit everyone. I organised a treasure hunt which went down well though it was over a bit quickly. For tea they all got to top their own pizza so that passed a bit of time.
Age 9 is probably a bit easier than 8 though.
Good luck!

replenishing the buffet. shushing if they are too noisy after 10pm.

make sure they go outside for a bit to run off some steam. if the weather is nice how about a star gazing walk?

I would definitely push back start time. 5pm would be better. Not too late for their tea. In my experience they definitely won't get bored or need input from you. Good luck!!

Referee rather than participant IME. Squabbles over film (seen it a million times/it's for babies/my mum lets me watch horror films etc) and someone usually decides they don't want to do a planned activity. Delaying the arrival if possible is a good idea. Hide dd's most precious things just in case. Plan an early-ish pick up - don't end up having any of them all morning too.

Oh and make a phone rule, we had a sleepover once where someone brought a phone and it caused chaos!

def a phone rule - we provided a basket where they put them in. hand back on the way out.

3pm very early for sleepover, could you change it to 5/6pm?
I would let them play for an hour and have pizza ordered for about 6/7pm
If you have trampoline / garden , let Them burn off all the food energy 😝
I would then have something planned that would calm them like arts & crafts and then throw on movie around 8pm and hope they sleep at some stage 🙏

We had sleepovers before and I disagree that 3pm is too early. Although you might need to plan an activity 4-5pm. I would suggest 3-4pm arriving/free play. 4-5pm an organised activity. 5-6pm dinner, 6-7 free play then pjs on. 7-8:30 film then upstairs for teeth brushing, chatting then bed.

purplesequins I don't think I'd do that, what if one of them got upset and wanted to contact their parents but were embarrassed to ask you for their phone back?

We have a massive play park next to our house (crap sized yard so no potential for garden play), so will head along there 3.30 ish for an hour or two. That will take me to a more acceptable start time Haha.

Make sure you have all parents numbers and let girls know its pick up no later than 10.30am the flowing day as you have a busy day.

Free time when they first arrive. Then something energetic then pizza, then bracelet making or some crafty thing. Then film then quiet chat. With the expectation of whilst some of them may be tired none of them will be asleep before mid night.

I think sleepovers go better with a bit of structure. I'd plan a couple of activities (e.g. making own pizzas, cupcake decorating, slime making) and agree a film beforehand.

I host sleepovers quite often and I do tell the dc to go to sleep - not too early but certainly before midnight. The dc seem happy to come back so I don't think it's ever gone down too badly.

Cupcakes is a good idea. I'll buy in some pre done plain ones then a load of toppings for them to decorate. We have a good tie-dye kit somewhere too so will pick up maybe some plain white pillowcases and they can make them up on the evening and we can rinse and dry them in the morning to take home.

I'd have a few things just in case. Perhaps, some craft - my DD's friends made bookmarks from coloured paper, stickers and pens - kept them occupied for ages. You could do tea and then a film (provide sweets/chocolate/popcorn - they hopefully won't want too much if they've had tea). Another idea mid evening is to provide a plain pillowcase each and indelible pens to decorate them. Again my DD's friends enjoyed doing this.

Explain to your DD there will be a curfew on bedtime, ideally an hour before you want to go to bed.

Make sure none of them are in their best clothes if you're doing tie dye!

Cupcakes and tie dye sound great to me, my dds would love that.